Another Father’s Day has arrived. I am often reminded of how much I loved my father as a small child. I say as a small child because, after the age of six, I never saw him again. He seemed to be really into me…as the kids say. He would hoist me on his shoulders and I felt like the king of the world.

When I became a father I determined that I wanted to be a good one. Of course, the reviews are still out. They say life changes when you become a parent…and it remains changed for the rest of your days. I read that the primary thing that kids need from their fathers is that they are present for them. I have never been a sportsman nor a fisherman but I did take Aaron and Jonathon to the Saluki Football games in the 90s’ and while they watched the game I watched people. Every now and then one of them would ask me if I was enjoying the game and I responded with a hearty yes! Then they would ask me if I knew what was going on and I would say, ‘Pretty good.’

One cold winter I decided that a perfect way to make some extra money was to deliver Telephone Books. We had Phone Books coming out of our ears! For three days I drove Aaron and Jonathon down snow-covered roads and then trudged up to each front porch to hand-deliver the Directories. When we had completed the Herculean task we each had $38 and MJ told me that she needed my $38 for groceries.

We traveled a lot for a working family. We took a Great Eastern Vacation and a Great Western Vacation. Gatlinburg was a go-to destination and for many years we were there on multiple occasions. I wanted my sons to go further than the DuQuoin State Fair.

MJ and I have the focus of our lives on Aaron and Jonathon. Their joys and triumphs resonate with us… We are all going to Maine this September with my brother Brock and my sister-in-law Marcy. Yes, we still take family vacations!

Dad is the greatest title that I have ever had bestowed upon me! It has meant everything to me to…do it right. I read another article that said that although we have the loftiest of goals as fathers…our kids see us 24/7. They see us in our most unlofty conditions. The experience us at our worst. I never read Bill Cosby’s popular book on how to be a good father…I simply put my heart into it with all of my awkwardness and ignorance…and love…

Discovery enlivens the mind and quickens the spirit. I set about discovering something every day. Whether it is a new species of tree or plant or an unusual photograph or a new way of expressing myself through my blog. It keeps me young at heart!

I have always been a bit of a rebel. The Party Line and the accepted truth have somewhat eluded me as I have had the blessing or curse of seeing fallacies in the doctrine that the majority follows at the expense of many who are left out of the success module. How is it that those who exclude great swaths of people who do not subscribe to their prescription for happiness…seem to be dismally unhappy?

I fancied myself a possible politician in my early days. Influential people have asked me why I do not run for some local office. I fear that I am too much of my own thinker to succeed at mouthing the ideas and beliefs of others. I can not countenance a closed society or group or clique of the elite and the well-informed. I love to hear the ideas of those that do not share my views…that is what life is all about. What I do not enjoy is hate speech or marginalization.

We live on a mysterious planet that is set in a magical universe and our life is a riddle from beginning to end. One day we appeared and the next day we exit…we did not buy a ticket and we have to learn as we go.

A closed mind is a closed door of opportunity. If your group is telling you something that does not sound right or that makes you feel nervous or uneasy…March to the tune of your own drummer…

‘Look on every exit as being an entrance to somewhere else.’ Tom Stoppard

‘It certainly is a cloudy day and hot as a coal stove,’ He said. ‘I have the bags for the grocery store,’ She said. ‘Do you remember when we used to cut the grass every week,’ He asked? Sometimes twice a week when the rains were plentiful,’ She replied. ‘Dust now is all the yard is,’ He said. ‘Don’t forget the Ration Coupons…if we do not have those we will get no groceries today,’ She said. ‘Last time that we went to the market the guards would not let us in even with the Coupons,’ He said.

‘This ‘New Think’ and ‘America For Americans’ is hard to get used to,’ She said. ‘At first, I thought that it would be great…until so many of our friends and neighbors started disappearing,’ He said. ‘No more fear of wrong opinions and hidden agendas,’ President For Life said. No more division was promised and no more worry as there would be plenty of food and shelter and freedom from hunger and want…easy it seemed to give all of the difficult thinking and research of ideas over to those who were genetically superior.

You would have thought that it would have been difficult when reading was abolished. No more books of any kind…most of them had been burned…it was believed that a few were hidden. Artificial Intelligence now determined what humans could watch over the government’s streaming platforms. The AIs never functioned consistently. They regularly disagreed with each other…much as humans did when they still lived under the form of government called Democracy.

‘Well, the Subaru will not start again,’ He said. ‘I am not surprised as it has to be 50 years old,’ She said. ‘First PFL decreed that we would no longer purchase items made outside our Country then so many of our folks became sick and died or went missing that there was no one to manufacture the automobiles any longer,’ He said.

‘I truly believe that Our Pandemic of 2053 was the ruination of our country…we no longer could collaborate with other countries…what was left of the United Kingdom after WW III had a vaccine but PFL said that we would make our own,’ He said. ‘He was too proud to admit that all of our academics and scientist had escaped our nation long ago and all we had left were poor uneducated and some angry warlike people,’ She replied.

‘I would kill for a blueberry,’ She said. ‘Or an apple or a peach…but those fruit fields were plowed under when we discovered that our people did not want to lower themselves to picking fruit,’ He said.

‘Did you know that I have personally seen PFL, she asked? ‘Oh about 10 years ago…he was speaking in Chicago and one of his aids began to have a seizure while PFL looked on with an amused look on his face,’ she said. ‘I was struck by how he obviously did not care about one of his closest aids…and I thought that it was Bull Shit that he cared about me,’ She exclaimed!

‘Hold it right there…where are you going…what is that in your pocket,’ Guard said! ‘Why that is my Gideon’s Bible,’ he said. ‘We were told in the last town meeting that the Bible was still approved to be read,’ she said. ‘Not anymore…PFL said that he will tell us what God wants as he is his messenger,’ Guard said as he struck both of them to the dusty ground…’

I was reading this morning that Americans are walking away from their churches. Less people identify as Christian. Sadly the title Christian often illuminates images of cruelty and exclusivity in the minds of those who are seeking love and acceptance. How did this happen to the disciples of the Prince Of Peace? How did Christ born in a manger and lauded by the Wisemen and shepherds and the Messiah who the ‘Common people heard him gladly,’ become so consumed with vitriol and hate?

Jesus was the advocate of the unseen and the unheard and some would say…the great unwashed. The attraction of Jesus is his love for everyone. The banner of Christ is what he told the woman who was being stoned for adultery, ‘Woman where are thine accusers? Has no one condemned you?’ Of course, he asked this revealing question after he bent and wrote in the sand as he observed the stoning ritual and one by one the stoners left their self-righteous vocation. What did the son of the carpenter write? Apparently, something that so dissuaded the righteous mob from their perceived holy duty that they felt the need to just leave in the midst of their religious cause…

People are hurting already without joining a church that makes them hurt and who marginalizes them. Jesus fed five thousand not counting the woman and children and the attraction was his message of love and inclusivity.

I watched the Pride Church Service this past Sunday and was struck with the loving and excited and anticipatory feeling that came through the Iphone screen. The Church of The Good Shepherd was full and everyone was glad to be there! The did not seem to be concerned about devoting a portion of their Sunday to Church…

People who cared about me…drew me to Christianity. I had no money but they loved me anyway. In the sermons I did not hear about anyone to hate or separate myself from…I only heard about love and acceptance.

As a manager/administrator at Southern Illinois University @ Carbondale I always thought of the whole person who was my colleague. Many were going through divorce or marital separation. Many had serious physical and mental illnesses. Many felt that they had been kicked to the side of the road while the religious passed by on the other side. When you work with another human being they bring their entire self to the bargain. My axiom was what would Jesus do…

Could it be that the needy are evacuating their pews due to everything being alright and that there is no longer a need for God? I think that perhaps they are seeking God somewhere where they are accepted and loved and welcomed for who that they are…

Another glorious Saturday in June. This is one of those Saturdays that you used to see in glossy magazines like Country Home and Southern Living. Happy people are out hiking and picnicking and their kids laughing and playing tag. Friends and neighbors and family and loved ones who are accepted for who they are and what they believe and their general good intentions. Live and let live is the motto of the day and hate and prejudice and misogyny be damned.

I look at so many photos of illustrations that were in my school books and media of the day and once again you see nirvana portrayed…but there are no black children around the Christmas Tree…only white kids dressed in their Christmas finest while Dad smokes his Christmas Pipe and Mom brings him a martini and little Susie fetches his slippers. Of course, African American families were enjoying Christmas just like Caucasian families but somehow they were invisible from the White Christmas portrayal.

Gay people have always been among us. Often they were just out of sight or they were the biggest secret in the room. Everyone that knew them knew that they were Gay…but they pretended to be Straight and those who understood the ruse went along with it in a debilitating lie that slowly devastated the Gay person as their hiding became both psychologically and physically painful.

As Rod Serling said at the beginning of the weekly Twilight Zone Episodes…’ Consider if you will,’ simply asking to be accepted for who you are…not a facsimile of who others think that you are…but for who you are and who you wake up as each morning and who you are sick as and who you are well as and who you grieve as when your loved one dies. In come the Sadducees and the Pharisees with their terrible burden of informing you that God did not create you as you are. As they look down their noses at you and explain to you that you could not possibly love a person of the same gender…and you know that your love them more than your own life…and indeed you have had to suffer for that demonstrated love countless times more than your Straight friends and family.

Do you know that you have done your religious service? As you lay your head on your Tempur-Pedic Pillow tonight will the scripture be floating on pure white fluffy clouds in your mind; ‘Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal…’

‘I can not believe that it is June 9th already,’ said Jane. ‘Turn around once and it will be the fourth of July,’ Billy B. responded. ‘Actually, summer days are the same length as the other seasons,’ Chet said as he looked up from his Lost In Space comic book. ‘Cousin Brenda wants to know if we would like to take a tour of City Hall that Uncle Bill will conduct this afternoon,’ Neva J. said. ‘Uncle Bill is a police officer…but I never see him wear a gun,’ said Billy B. ‘He is the dispatcher and thus does not have the need for a sidearm,’ Neva J. responded.

City Hall was one of the prominent buildings in Eldorado. With great stairs ascending to the front door and located on both sides of the entrance…it caught the eye of those who passed by. The fire trucks were housed to the left of the grand entrance and Billy B. often saw his uncle enjoying a Pall Mall Cigarette on the high porch. Often Billy B. would wave at Bill and Bill would wave back as he puffed on his pleasure and continued to run his tongue between the gap in his lower teeth. Uncle Bill had begun his career at Eldorado City Hall as a custodian after completing a career in the military. Billy B.’s uncle had served in World War II in Germany and his last post had been in Alaska. He had been involved in hand-to-hand combat and refused to talk about it. Bill was a quiet man with a ready smile and he was fond of Billy B.’s dad…who he called Junior.

‘Hello Bill…we are excited about the tour today,’ said Neva J. Bill grinned a wide grin and ran his tongue between his teeth. He showed the happy summer group his communication station first and then the firetrucks. Glenn the police chief came out of his office and greeted all. He bragged about Uncle Bill and his indispensable value to the Eldorado Police Force. Chet noticed a door in the back of City Hall and turned the doorknob and walked in. Neva J. followed and when Jane opened it…she found a broom closet. ‘Oh my, I wish that Chet and Jane had not gone into the Broom Closet…I went in there once and did not come out for five months,’ said Bill who had ceased to grin and looked scared. ‘We had better follow them and find out where they have gone,’ Billy B. said. ‘Follow me,’ Uncle Bill said.

Before their eyes were City Hall…the same but changed. There was a large table set with the most lovey china dinnerware service and beside it a magnificent display of vintage wedding dresses. Old photos adorned the walls and a plethora of displays of old newspapers with some of Billy B.’s classmates who had died in a plane crash… As they walked out onto the great porch they overlooked a subdued Eldorado.

‘Uncle Bill said that when he had accidentally opened the Broom Closet that he had been told no one ever entered he found himself surrounded by Model T. cars and that the military was stationed at the City Hall and wanting to draft him for the Great War…World War I…

‘Let’s go see what is playing at the Orpheum, said Chet. A nice lady stuck her head out from behind the large display of Antique Wedding Dresses and said that we were many years too late to see a movie at the Orpheum Theatre as it had been closed for a long time.

‘What is the year of our adventure,’ asked Chet? ‘Why 2023…of course, the Eldorado Museum Curator said…’

The more that I look the more I find. For instance, I have identified over 100 different species of plants and trees. Of course, that is with the help of my trusty Ap. Our interests evolve and our focus changes through the years. At one time I considered the American Presidency fascinating…now not so much. Leadership has always interested me but it is getting more difficult to find good leaders. I still am intrigued by how good and poor people will follow religious/political leaders who do not have their best interest at heart…but rather their own.

I was watching some little fish in the creek at Giant City and I wondered what they were thinking about. I feel much the same when Mylo stares at me with a questioning gaze. Have you ever listened to crows talk to each other…and often about you…

We, humans, are quite certain that we are God’s Gift to the Universe. Perhaps others are watching us and wondering what we are thinking as we swim around in the Creek?

Simple Subservient is not the title we should seek. Children understand when their parents are not telling them the truth. ‘Adult psychology is child psychology…the only difference is size.’

Our Earth is a wonderful place. It is a minuscule part of our universe. Space appears to be endless…no brick wall has been discovered yet. Many will say that they have never seen God…they need only to watch the little fish or the endless variety of species of plants and trees…or listen to the crows talk…or look in the mirror…

Today I spent my time at the Park watching the plentiful rainfall. Watching rain is one of my favorite pastimes. I find it uplifting and peaceful and calming. It is a bit like life…not every day is sunny without a cloud in the sky. I was set to water my outdoor plants this morning but the happy rain did it for me. Rain slows us down and causes us to reflect on where we are and where we have been.

June is moving right along. I visited the dentist yesterday and the friendly lady at the front said that I was just there yesterday…to which I replied that I had been at her office a week ago. I did however understand how she thought that my most recent visit had been yesterday as that is how fast time goes by. A week seems like a day and a month seems like a week and…well you get the picture…

I visited the Visitors Center at Giant City yesterday and they had the most delightful stuffed wild animals. I wondered why I had not visited earlier.

Aaron and I were commiserating the last evening about our seemingly changing world. I confessed that I had believed myself to be an empathetic person with a modicum of insight and intuitive curiosity…and yet I had discovered that now that I am an old guy I really did not know much about the struggles that each of us endure.

We want to paint our surroundings with a narrow brush and sure and certain brush strokes when in reality we need a humongous brush and halting brush strokes as we reach out to our fellow humans. I have always heard that we should judge not lest we be judged. Or as Neva J. told me that the only certainty is death and taxes.

Kaleidoscopes are wonderful and enlightening instruments of light and color. We peer through our built-in kaleidoscope and assume everyone sees what we see. In reality, everyone sees something different. Snowflake is not an insult…we are as diverse as snowflakes.

I can not legislate who you are and you can legislate who I am. I have no idea what it is like to be you. You may look at me and say how did he come to be. My primary Christian and Faith concern for many years has been how do we treat each other. Not the narrow religious doctrine that some hold fast to. The poorest of us can feel elite when we ascribe to excluding others who do not match our template for holiness.

Fear drives much of religious thought. Or as the saying goes, ‘I would rather be excluded for those who I include than included for those I exclude…’