I believe I was born with a big heart. From a very young age being nice instead of mean was important to me. I was a shy kid. I can be a shy or …

Wholehearted

Our dear friend George passed away unexpectedly last week. He and his wife, Diane, are wonderful people. We have known them for many years. They are pillars in our community. If you needed help, they were there to help. They have a son and daughter who are simply Good People. MJ and I have been friends of George’s brother Jim and his lovely wife, Laura. We have watched their kids grow into wonderful, caring adults. I told Jim’s son, Greg, that he looked like a champ… which is my highest compliment. When I see Jim and Laura’s kids, my heart swells with pride. It has been my privilege to be invited to many celebrations at Jim and Laura’s home.
The energy and familial bond I felt each time I was there was extraordinary. I did not see George often since my retirement, but I had the good fortune to talk with him twice in the past six weeks. George had the unique ability to make you feel important and appreciated. George was a servant leader. He was a humble humanitarian. He was a great man!

Diane referred to MJ, our sons, Aaron and Jonathon, and me as good people. What a profound compliment from a great lady! George and Diane did not shout their faith from the mountain top…they lived it in the lives they helped.

Good People exist all around us. We pass them in Kroger’s and sit next to them at the Theatre. People who feel things deeply. People who care about others. We talk with them at the Lodge. They get up in the middle of the night when a fire occurs at the university to help with fire and smoke eradication products.

George loved Southern Illinois University @ Carbondale. When I needed his help as the head of the housekeeping department…George was there. George and Jim were a Godsend to my efforts as a manager of over 400 staff and 200 buildings.

I have known a few quiet warriors for good. The hidden treasure of Southern Illinois is Southern Illinois University @ Carbondale. New administration may not understand or do their research, but George Sheffer and the Sheffer family have blessed the University more times than can be counted. They were there for SIUC when no one stepped up. George sought neither admiration nor praise…he was a servant working for the master of his faith.

Cool winds are blowing. A sweater feels nice. If you do not like the weather, stick around; it will change. So it goes with our time on Earth. Colleagues told me that one day you have chicken, the next day you have feathers. I have yet to eat feathers. Life is full of surprises. ‘The best laid plans of mice and men suddenly go awry.’ Man plans and God laughs.

The Godfather said he was drinking more wine, and his son told him that wine was good for him… The Father said I am drinking more of it. There are abrupt changes and subtle ones. We old folks feel the same but look different. We see ourselves through our mind’s eye; others see what is before them. People treat me with the deference of the elderly. I wonder why, as I do not feel old. Yesterday I was one of the young people and hid my age as a manager, thinking my staff would wonder what a Kid was doing as the boss. No one would make that mistake now.

Leaders are interesting to watch. Often, they conduct themselves as if they were 30 years younger than they are. They believe they cut quite a little figure and wish the girls would leave them alone until they get a little bigger…as Grandpa Berl said of little boys.

Change is happening all around us. It creeps up behind us and yells…Boo! We see the softball-sized hail and say we have always had hail. The rich are now billionaires, while many working people have food insecurity. There have always been rich and poor.

‘We hunted for persimmons in the woods with Grandma A because we had nothing to eat,’ Neva J said. ‘Grandma A would feed the Hobos that came to our door…in those days, no one went hungry because we were all in the same boat,’ Neva J laughed. ‘Rich people were few in our neck of the woods,’ Neva J winked. ‘We were a community,’ Neva J reminisced.

More storms are moving in. The Sun has hidden behind the clouds. Last night, there was golf ball-sized hail. A common occurrence in these halcyon years. We live on our little blue orb. Some work daily to discover new ways to torture and malign their fellow human beings. Rhetoric is beyond the pulp novel. As a member of the baby boom generation, what passes for political wisdom would be halted, and the perpetrators of the hate speech thrown out of office. I recall when a politician’s constituents were important to their re-election. The price of gas rose 20 cents overnight. A White House Ballroom is more important than suffering people.

Uncle Merl told me when I worked at the university, too, never tell anyone my political affiliation. I remembered the days when, if you were a member of the political party out of power, you would lose your civil service job. So now what? Suffering for the little folks is equal opportunity.

We, Quiet People, bide our time, we watch and wait. Our words never meant much. Others took the stage and the microphone. Our betters admonished us to not forget our place. Don’t rock the boat my colleague told me when I began working at the university. Remember your retirement. Quiet folks understand that it is the elite and the vociferous speakers who rule the world. Often, they display a profound stultifying ignorance. I was brought up to never say a person was ignorant or said stupid things.
These are the days that try our souls.

A sadness is the coopting of faith in the Halloween costume of Christianity. Wolves dress in sheep’s clothing…that does not fit very well, and if you look reveals who they are. The seams are ill-sewn. The sheep’s mask has white fur falling off.

We introverts abhor conflict. We want to get along. We seek neither the limelight nor the spotlight. We are happy not to be noticed. But, not being noticed does not negate our noticing. We see when people are not being treated justly. Justice is not just for the elites. The promise of the Bible is for all. Those who have money and those who have none. The silver-tongued orator and the Quiet Person in the back of the church. Smooth speech is not the truth in itself. Repetition of a lie does not transubstantiate it into the truth. Deeds speak for themselves.

The Quiet People have arisen from their comfortable position. Fairness and truth are important. The homeless girl sits outside the Broadway Theatre, both afraid to call her parents and terrified to remain homeless. She seeks a kind face in her silence. It seems she is viewed as a transaction rather than a human. She wonders if anyone hears her silent cry. Does anyone see her suffering or her youth…the perversion of morality to allow her to remain on the streets of New York?

Stormy weather. Unsettled skys. Wind whipping around like a Tilt-A-Whirl. Such is this Monday in April. Living in Tornado Alley is not nearly as much fun as a bowling alley. It does not have the drama of Dorothy and Toto’s ride in a Twister in The Wizard of Oz. Or, as one nurse said to another just before I went in for my Colonoscopy… what do we do if the power goes out… do we have a generator? Comforting words before the lights go off.

So we ask, ‘Do we have a generator?’ Usually, this is just before the power goes off. It has been said that you never miss the water until the well goes dry. Have you checked your well…lately?

Life brings us joy and strife, wonder and worry…peace and palpitations. We either focus on the good things that are happening or we mull over the bad on an incessant loop of the greatest hits. What we truly require is a plan for the bad days.

Many are in the background of the scene. They work to make life better for others. They seek neither praise nor recognition for their efforts. Quietly, they do their work. They feel deeply. I spent my career in Building Services, which is the housekeeping department at Southern Illinois University @ Carbondale. Of the 400 staff we had at our zenith, over 200 were student employees. Many from foreign lands. Our full-time staff treated their student colleagues as family. They brought them food to eat and took them home for the holidays. They were interested in their students’ families ‘academic success and rejoiced when they did well.

We can be the Generator that is crucial to the success of our environment. A plan of volunteerism for introverts. The quietest person in the room may have the best idea. Many have to be asked their opinion directly, and then they might offer it reluctantly.

Leaders would be well advised to seek the help of the grounds worker, the custodian, and the food service worker at the university. They live the nearest to what the students are experiencing. The quiet ones know what works and what does not.

It is good to feel the Sun. The warmth transcends. Life is never more real than right now. The immediacy of today is our ocean. We swim in it…We are immersed. Our sense of place surrounds us. Nothing is coming down the road better. Now we live and move and have our being. The orchestra is playing…the sound of the Woods surrounds us…We have arrived.

‘There is a feeling of change in the air,’ Chet commented. ‘It is like coming aboard a Cruise Liner…we are going somewhere special,’ Chet continued. ‘I remember the warmth of the Eldorado spring and summer days,’ Chet reflected. ‘How we dreamed of what would be,’ Chet said to himself, smiling. ‘Sunday afternoon in the Orpheum Theatre…Sunday night, watching Lassie and the Wonderful World of Disney,’ Chet recalled. ‘It seemed I was always planning, imagining….waiting for the big tomorrow,’ Chet said softly. ‘Watermelon at Grandma A’s and catching fireflies…watching the Drive Inn Movie at the Starlight Drive Inn and wondering what it was going to be like when I got older,’ Chet continued. ‘It seemed nothing had happened…it was all before me…in a hurry to reach tomorrow,’ Chet laughed. ‘There was Neva J full of happiness at Pounds Hollow…eating Moo and Cackle Hamburgers on the way to the Hollow in Neva J’s 57′ Chevy convertible…little money and no worries,’ Chet said with tears in his eyes.

‘Daddy, this is the best Christmas ever,’ Aaron said. ‘I have a toy dump truck and a Fisher Price Farm with a farmer and his family,’ Aaron continued. ‘Our Christmas Tree is giant,’ Aaron laughed. ‘Did you cut it yourself, Daddy?’ Aaron said. ‘When I look at the Nativity Set, I think how lucky we are,’ Aaron observed. ‘Is it really handmade?’ Aaron asked his father. ‘Did it cost a lot of money?’ Aaron giggled. ‘I hope we will always live here with our humongous Christmas Tree…Homemade Nativity and Fisher Price Farm Set,’ Aaron exulted!

‘Teddy Ruxpin is quite a talker,’ Jonathon said with a grin. ‘His mouth moves…he is smart,’ Jonathon said. ‘I think I will make him the leader of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,’ Jonathon proclaimed. ‘The Nintendo is magical…you can play baseball on it,’ Jonathon laughed. ‘I like Mario and Luigi and their chases,’ Jonathon said. ‘I am up to level 5, and now I am unstoppable,’ Jonathon called out as he went back to playing Nintendo.

‘I wondered and worried if I was good enough to accomplish the Herculean task of managing a department at the University,’ the Old Man said. ‘How would I survive today and arrive at the Golden Retirement of tomorrow,’ the Old Man mused. ‘I have watched good managers fail,’ the Old Man continued. ‘Perhaps I can make it to the other shore,’ the Old Man said to himself, laughing.

So it is the storms come, and they go. We look for a better tomorrow sitting by the side of the lake of heavenly Today.

‘The Pond was in fine spring condition,’ Big Boy said. ‘We have waited all winter for our premier performance,’ BB continued. ‘The tickets for the Spring Musicale sold out in the first hour they were on sale,’ Big Boy laughed. ‘This year there will be a Comedy Show before we go on…Martin and Martin,’ BB winked and danced.

‘Your attention, we must tune our instruments,’ Mr. Mole said to the orchestra. We are accompanying the famous Bullfrog Quartet…we must be in tune,’ Mr. Mole noted. ‘Our bass violins must blend with their dulcet tones and complement the sounds of the Woods Singers,’ Mr. Mole continued.

‘Our concert will be for Freedom…speaking truth without fear of retaliation…the beauty of Art over politics,’ Mr. Badger proclaimed. ‘We are done watching the carnage of our politicians’ abuse of the Earth,’ Badger continued. ‘We must not cower in fear of a bully…bullies are blowhards with no plan and too much puffery,’ Mr. Badger noted.

‘Come on, men…let this be a concert for the ages…sing from your hearts,’ Big Boy said. The President and his Cabinet will be in the audience…we will show them our best,’ BB proclaimed.

The President and First Lady looked perplexed as the Bullfrog Quartet jumped onto their laps and continued singing.

What a lovely day. A time for thinking big thoughts. A time to relax and reflect on the challenges you have accomplished. If you are a parent, be thankful for your kids. If you are a kid, be thankful for your parents.

Some challenges seem herculean. They have a lot of moving parts. When I became a manager at Southern Illinois University @ Carbondale, I wondered if I was up to the challenge. I was 29 and knew I had several years before I could retire. Colleagues told me that they would not have done what I did. Yet I look back 15+ years later and can say challenge complete.

Perhaps you are working toward a goal that is difficult to see on the horizon. Then there are the reversals…oh the reversals. Just about the time you can peek over the hill you have climbed…there is another hill.

My old friend told me once a year that life is not a sprint…it is a marathon. The older I become, the better I understand the advice. We are players on a stage…but it is not all drama. Often, we have no lines. Suddenly, it is our turn to speak…then we long for the next speaking opportunity.

Preparation is a fact of life. We prepare for many years to be adults…then the real preparation begins. Take a long time to be spontaneous.

Surprise awaits. As we walk the road home, we see a bend in the road. Around the bend is a surprise.

Today is rainy and cloudy. Yesterday the sun shone brightly. Such is life. There are seasons where dark clouds enter our minds. It is possible to be overwhelmed. I have seen this happen often. Introverts can feel they are alone in their struggle. Pride is a veil covering the need for help. We do not want others to know our struggles. People who have suicidal ideation insist they are fine and loving life. Robin Williams was the Funny Man for the world while suffering insurmountable mental battles. Nothing is more freeing and a bringer of peace than asking for help.

I have been up close and personal with a Nervous Breakdown when I was much younger. It is a condition that requires empathy and a slow, deliberate dedication to listening. We are not heard…so we quit speaking into the void. Some bury their anxiety in a bottle. This exacerbates the problem.

Christ helps…his message of a sense of place and purpose is refreshing. The train track has been a guiding light for me. Stay on track my first pastor told me as a youth. The Train of Life is chugging along. We must keep our berth. We will get to New Orleans if we do not falter or faint. We will arrive with a smile and laughter if our friends and loved ones accompany us.

‘I have been blue for some time,’ Jane said. ‘When others are laughing, I wonder what the joke is,’ Jane continued. ‘Life has sent me several reversals, and I wonder if this is my plight for the remainder of my days, Jane mused. ‘I knew happiness once…” But I lost the plot thread,’ Jane explained. ‘Now I am flailing about seeking peace…seeking meaning… wondering what my mission is…what is my purpose,’ Jane mused. ‘I traveled down a side path that looked inviting…it seemed exciting…a smiling figure beckoned me to join him on the path,’ Jane offered with a tear in her eye.

‘A settled mind is good like a medicine,’ Chet noted. ‘When buffeting from the political world or the religious world…or our internal world captivates our mind and soul…take a beat…think before you act…it is a marathon, not a sprint, Chet said.

Some of us ring the bell on Sunday morning. Some watch the Bell Ringer. We marvel at his bell-ringing prowess. We love the dulcet tone of the Bell. We love what the Bell Ringing means to us and those who hear it.

Quiet people get things done. Still waters run deep. We love people…at a distance. Not much comes out of our mouths, but much is going on in our heads. Introverts have a lot of answers to life’s persistent questions…if someone asks.

Persistence is the key, the excited man said many years ago. Gesturing as if his hair was on fire…he grabbed the Old Man’s arm and proclaimed his truth. The Old Man wonders if the Extrovert with a message is persistent.

‘Are you prepared for the race?’ Mr. Hare asked Mr. Tortoise. ‘I really do not need to practice as speed is in my genes,’ Mr. Hare proclaimed. ‘I come from a long line of super intelligent and scary speedy Hares,’ Mr. Hare advised with a toothy smile. ‘No Hare has beat me…I feel certain that you have no chance, Sleepy Tortoise,’ Mr. Hare laughed. ‘Give up now, and I will call you a loser,’ Mr.Hare continued. ‘If you praise me early and often…I will understand that you are a smart sleepy Tortoise,’ Mr. Hare observed.

‘Nice seeing you, Mr. Hare…I knew your father and your uncle,’ Mr. Tortoise said. ‘They were quite fast and won many races,’ Mr. Tortoise continued. ‘I used to watch them from the viewing stands,’ Mr. Tortoise continued. ‘Your family seems to rely on bluster as a diversion,’ Mr. Tortoise observed. ‘This is an excellent rhetorical device…until your opponent understands its utilization,’ Mr. Tortoise continued. ‘I have a quiet approach…I watch what works and inculcate best practices into my race,’ Mr. Tortoise mused. ‘I sleep little…I watch and research daily,’ Mr. Tortoise advised.

‘Runners take you marks,’ Judge Everyman said. ‘At the sound of the starter pistol, begin running for the finish line,’ Judge E continued. ‘Be sure to focus on the goal of the finish line,’ Judge E advised both race participants.

‘How did you beat me in the race…I ran hard…I am the greatest…I never lose,’ Mr. Hare asked Mr. Tortoise.

‘You stopped three times to brag on yourself… advise that persistence is the key…accuse me of being sleepy and out of touch with the race,’ Mr. Tortoise explained. ‘I passed you during your second speech…I broke through the finish line several minutes before your arrival…I have watched you for some time…you love the sound of your own voice,’ Mr. Tortoise said as he sipped lemonade.