The Brooks had the golden opportunity to visit our Dear friends Jim and Laura and Greg along with their lovely granddaughters last evening. We had a wonderful dinner in their new home and the salad was so delicious that MJ sent me out for Salad fixings today. Greg taught me a new word, ‘Bougie’ and I have already inculcated it into my vocabulary.

We have been friends with the Sheffers since the last century. They are a wonderful big-hearted family. I was reflecting yesterday that Jim and I have gotten a bit older while Laura and MJ have stayed eternally young…and Greg has grown into a wise and thoughtful man. He and I have a similar hat…

There is a satisfying continuity to having old friends. Life around us changes…but dear friends are eternal…

The weather today is much more relaxed than what we have been experiencing. A contributing factor to the relaxed atmosphere is the cooler temperatures. I visited the Eldorado Museum yesterday and was taken aback by how nice the women that run it are when I am there. I feel at home and that is not something that I say regularly. They displayed antique wedding dresses and included the wedding dress of my favorite teacher in Junior High School. I was transported to Mrs. Baker’s class and saw the blue tint in her lovely hair. Mrs. Baker spoke with me as if I were an adult and her respect for me endeared me to her instruction. I have had several teachers in my life…but not many stand out for their recognition of a student as a thinking individual…

Not everyone gets you. Communication is a mysterious enterprise. Kindness and empathy are the milk and honey of effective discourse. Why do people act as they do? What caused one of your friends to be liberal while another is conservative? One person believes in God while the other would like to but feels that it is a fool’s errand.

We macho men claim invulnerability and we suffer from a John Wayne complex. I was watching a segment on CBS Sunday morning where a young girl was a fan of a rock and roll star that was much older than herself. She attended one of his performances and was thrilled to have seen him. The interviewer asked her if she thought that she would ever be able to speak with him and she answered that she did not. Then…the gentleman appeared on her Zoom screen meeting and she broke down in tears of joy. We fill a bit like the young lady when someone truly gets us and takes time out of their busy schedule…just for us…

Southern Illinois is comprised of small towns and villages. Many of the towns that surround Carbondale which is the home of Southern Illinois University have a group of people who truly know each other. When they see someone who is not from their town…they know it. Many years ago MJ and I were having dinner with some friends and it was not in Carbondale. In the little restaurant, we sat down with them and everyone in the place looked at us. Ray stood up and introduced us and mentioned that we were from Carbondale and then they slowly went back to their food.

I passed an African American gentleman this morning as I was visiting Cobden and he looked to be of senior status. When he saw me he said, ‘Hot enough for you?’ I answered that it was and he laughed because we were both in on the inside joke. Little towns and hamlets are nice. There is room to grow and explore and develop a sense of place and self.

Our good friend Emily from Vermont visited us this week. She mentioned that Vermont is one of the smallest population states in the Union. When folks think of Illiois they automatically think of Chicago where I was born. However much of Illinois is rural and dotted with people here and there. If anything Carbondale seems to be getting smaller. Business are closing on a regular basis and restaurants are having a difficult time staying afloat. Our University Mall which was once a booming enterprise is now a shadow of its former self. Tom’s Place which was one of only two five star restaurants in our region closed on July 1st. SIUC is less than half the population of when I was working there. Yet Little Egypt is a picturesque place to live. Indeed people that move here often never leave. The feeling is a bit like living in another century. Good and hard working people who mind their own business and who will lend a helping hand when needed.

Stress is lessened in Little Egypt. Giant City State Park is in our backyard. Southern Illinis University has woods on the campus. We are much like the noted butter…Land Of Lakes. Students from Chicago come the Carbondale to experience an alternate life style that often becomes their life.

‘Well, are you ready to buy your new school clothes,’ Neva J. asked Billy B. with a laugh? It is July 5th and not long until school begins…you know that after the 4th we will soon be putting on our Halloween Costumes,’ she continued. ‘I heard that we must not wish our lives away,’ Chet said with a wry smile. ‘I have observed that whether you wish or not…it goes quickly,’ Neve J. answered. ‘One year I thought about Christmas every day and discovered that a year is really not a long period of time,’ Jane offered. ‘At our house, we put a large bag over the Christmas Tree and place it in the corner of the storage room so as to not have to put it together…seemingly…every few days,’ Chet laughed.

‘Hold Billy B. up so he can put the Angel on the top of the tree,’ Neva J. said. ‘Neva J., he is growing so fast and always has a grin,’ Ivy said. ‘He loves Christmas…we got him this Laughing Santa he takes it everywhere with him… every time you crank his back he laughs the most unique laugh,’ Neva J. said with a laugh of her own. ‘He sounds like a 57′ Chevy on a cold morning,’ Bill B. said with a wink. ‘Steve and Susie are coming over to put on their puppet show for Billy B…this year they have a Santa Claus Marionette and Mrs. Claus and Rudolph as well,’ Ivy said as she lit another Camel Cigarette.

‘Billy B. said he can not wait until he is old and has accomplished all of his work…so that he can enjoy the fruits of his labors and reflect on the past,’ Neva J. said with her eyebrows raised…

‘Here is Laughing Santa, Dad,’ Jonathon said with a grin. ‘I brought the Marionettes with me and I was careful to handle the Santa Claus and Rudolph Vintage puppets with care,’ Aaron said. ‘Crank him up and let us hear his Christmas Laugh,’ Billy B. said as he thought about recently becoming 66…just like the famous Route…

The Sun was hot and the sweet tea was cool. ‘What a glorious 4th said Neva J. ‘I don’t think that it is as hot as last year,’ said Aunt Guelda. ‘Well it is never too hot that a cigarette does not taste mighty fine,’ Aunt Vema remarked. ‘You know that you would not cough so much if you quit those Salems…don’t you,’ Aunt Wanda asked Vema? ‘I can’t quit the Cigs kid…I have tried but I always go back…they calm my nerves,’ Vema answered. ‘If you had a television you would have seen Jackie give a tour of the White House.’ Neva J. remarked. ‘Hellavison is not for us,’ said Grandma A. ‘Is everyone ready for Fetch to start the ice cream,’ Wanda asked?

‘How are your photography classes going Neva J.,’ asked Vema? ‘Oh, I love them…I worked in the Darkroom yesterday and the prints came out good,’ she said. ‘I have a Photography book that I brought you…it has photos of female nudes posing,’ said Vema. ‘Nude women…you say,’ Uncle Gene remarked with a crooked grin. ‘What time do we eat,’ Junior asked? ‘Is it time to put the hamburgers on the grill,’ Uncle Bill asked? ‘Here it is…ground beef from the Food Center and Oscar Mayer Hot Dogs,’ Cousin Brenda said with a laugh.

‘I miss Dutch on the 4th,’ Grandma A. said with a tear in her eye. ‘I lost many friends in WW II,’ Junior said. ‘My best friend Jack was killed next to me in a foxhole in Germany,’ Uncle Bill said as he ran his tongue between the gap in his lower teeth. ‘I heard a knock at the front door,’ Neva J. said.

As Neva J. opened the door she saw a shadow of a man underneath the oak tree in the front yard…and on the porch was a package addressed to Grandma A. The package contained Dutch’s wallet and dog tags and a little pen knife that his mom, Grandma A., had given him when he was a boy, and a note that said I miss you Mom and I will see you soon…’

Another House Cleaning Day success! MJ and I have been having good folk clean our house for the past 22 years and more. Months ago we decided we could do it with Jonathon’s assistance. We each receive $50 per cleaning session and we are subsequently highly motivated. We purchased some nice cleaning tools for old folks and have become technicians. I often feel accomplished and it is a bit like going to work…a little.

After church yesterday I was thinking about our Pastor Kerry. He is a gentle soul. Gentle is good! We seem to live in a society where abrasive behaviors are praised and fill the false narrative of courage and wisdom. ‘He shall feed His flock like a shepherd; He shall gather the lambs with His arms and carry them in His bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young.’ Isaiah 40:11 KJ21

Leadership Games are what so many of us have become accustomed to. Over my 32-year career at Southern Illinois University @ Carbondale, I was amazed at how many people equated overbearing supervisors and managers, and administrators with effective and strong wise leaders. I have witnessed many people weep at the shoddy and abusive treatment that they were receiving from their Boss. People became ill and the goals of the organization suffered while the king or queen on their make-believe throne felt powerful and removed from the precious humans that they were blessed to work with.

Gentle is captivating. Hope for tomorrow springs from being treated in a gentle manner. Since the Pandemic, many people have lost touch with friends or are seeking other humans to bond with. Why must we focus on what others are doing wrong or how we would like to change them and instead focus on what they are doing right and how we would like to emulate them.

Gentle create harmony where there was disharmony. Many marriages have been lost to divorce when only if the participants could seek gentleness instead of harsh words of wrongs done.

Gentle is the road marker to understanding. The kinder that you are to me…the more I listen to your thoughts and plans and hopes and dreams. A dynamic work of cooperation is the fruit of being gentle. Change is the direct result of gentle interaction with each other.

As I sat in church this morning I considered how much better I felt after I attended. Church is the bright spot and the place of rest for the weary soul. Church keeps me on track and reminds me of my Christian Walk for over 50 years.

Faith is a lifetime thing… no retirement. It has been a compass for me and a light that Hank Williams sang about when he sang,’ I saw the light…I saw the light…no more darkness no more night. Now I am so happy not trouble in sight…praise the Lord I saw the light.’

Hope and Faith are more deeply felt when they are shared with others. To hear the voices of your fellow travelers singing and sharing their faith is a special gift. We are not alone…we have never been alone…a comfort in a lonely world.

Religious Freedom is not free. It cost the ultimate sacrifice of many people. This morning Carlyn sang America The Beautiful and I reflected on the 4th of July…Independence Day means to me. The freedom to worship as we please is a tremendous freedom!

What does Independence Day mean to African Americans? Brought to this country against their will as slaves in the hold of massive sailing ships. Owned as property and beaten and raped and abused in every fashion…and yet they love the United States.

What does Independence Day mean to the Gay Community? Hidden for who they are and who they love…for generations…and yet they love the United States.

What doe Independence Day mean to the Native Americans who welcomed us Europeans and helped us and kept us alive and fed us…and we repaid them by taking their land and slaughtering their people…and yet they love the United States.

What does Independence Day mean to the Poor Whites…of which there are many. People who can not catch a break in our Capitalist Economy which has heavy locks on the entrance doors to the Great Unwashed and unlearned and unheard and marginalized and those who are unseen even though we have to step over them to enjoy our Independence Day Holiday…

2023 is middle age today. I recall when he was just a baby. I have forgotten my New Year’s Resolutions…and I am just as happy. Hail hit nearby last evening and broke out car windows. It was baseball size and beyond. That size of hail can be deadly. This is the 4th of July Weekend…or as Ratty said to Mole, ‘Believe me my young friend, there is nothing-absolutely nothing-half so much worth doing as simply messing about in boats.’

Winerys are the Go-To places for fun in the summer in our neck of the woods. Southern Illinois has a reputation for fine wineries. There are limousine services that will take you to the many and varied wineries and you can drink to your heart’s content and not have to drive. Having been at a Winery and observing the occupants of one of the Limos Wine Trail participants come into the facility I can attest that they are exceedingly happy and a bit unaware of their surroundings.

Whiskey is good…especially when it is in an Old Fashioned. We had a Bar that we very much enjoyed visiting on Saturdays prior to the Pandemic. It reminded me of the old television show Cheers…where everybody knows your name. A drink or two was fun and the fellowship of Aaron and Jonathon…and once in a while, MJ…was even better! Giant City Lodge has a wonderful and rustic little Bar. It is a bit secluded and you are surrounded by stuffed wildlife and good conversation. The Half-Way marker of today seems like just the time to try it out.

We mark our time on Earth in years…but what if we marked the journey in half years? Just think…I could boast of being on this side of the dirt for 130 half years. Or how about Christmas every six months? Or New Year’s Resolutions that you only had to commit to for half as long…

A little drink for those who like it is a nice adult pastime. However, Holiday Happiness does not come in a can or a bottle. I listened to a gentleman who has the goal to walk across all the countries of the Earth and he has been walking for 10 years. When asked about the various places that he had seen and the cities and environments he answered that he…walks toward people and that people were his entire motivation to keep walking…