Well, never let it be said that I do not plan ahead. MJ has ordered a new laptop computer and now I want a new one. Apple Laptops are decreasing in price and I want to strike while the iron is hot. Quick calculations have revealed that with MJ Aaron and Jonathon’s birthday and Christmas gifts to me in October and December I will have enough to buy the Precious…

I will soon be retired 14 years and have blogged nearly every day since 2014. I am also writing a story with my brother Brock that is fun! I am an aficionado of laptops Ipads and Iphones. When I was still working I marvelled at colleagues who had laptops. It seemed like the cartoon of my youth The Jetsons.

I am in the ‘Ber Months’ as soon as July arrives. Certain quirky things boost my morale. Maine in October my birthday at Bartolinos in St. Louis then the big Kahuna Christmas. When I retired my retirement gifts were the first-generation iPad and big screen Macintosh desk computer. I do not ride a motorcycle nor have a boat but I like computers.

As I sit on the Writing Porch I know I am pursuing my passion for writing. If I am not writing I am thinking about it. I used to hear writers speak of characters in their stories doing unexpected things in the narrative. I did not understand what they were talking about…now I do.

Could it be that I am a character in another writer’s story? Although it took me a long time to become dedicated to writing is the plot progressing as now I think of little else? I was a movie connoisseur for the first year or two of my early retirement but now it has fallen away to writing.

Speaking of writing machines I was fascinated with an old Royal typewriter Neva J had when I was a youngster. I pondered how pleasant it would be to write my novels on the ancient machine. Then came the invention of the Word Processor. MJ and I purchased one at Montgomery Ward for $600. No more whiteout when the incorrect key was struck. Mrs. Barton and Mr. Feazel encouraged me in high school to write. Dr. Burns at college. It may not be that good but it is mine and I am proud of it.

I love coming up with concepts and thoughts that I have read nowhere before. Originality is paramount in the writing craft. Writing today has proven that there are new themes and thoughts to share.

How did the authors of our Constitution feel as they penned the bedrock document of our nation? What did the disciple John think as visions swirled about him as he wrote the Book Of Revelations? Written words have power. They command our attention. Since Guttenbugh invented the printing press we have paid close attention to the ink and paper before us…

‘I have the answer to all of your problems, follow me for more information,’ Elixir Salesman said. ‘I have been a success in every country in the world and have healed countless people of everything from ingrown toenails to cancer,’ Elixir Salesman continued. ‘Do not listen to anyone but me as they tell you nothing but lies,’ ES proclaimed!

‘Let us go backstage and see what Elixir Salesman does between shows,’ Jane suggested. ‘I think he could sell ice cream to Eskimos,’ she continued. ‘I hear another show behind the stage,’ she continued.

‘I hear the distinct sounds of the Snake Charmer flute,’ Chet said. ‘Look there is the Swami and the snake is just emerging from the giant basket,’ Chet said in awe. ‘My goodness the snake has the head of the Elixir Salesman and he is smiling,’ Chet marveled.

‘Wisdom is know of her children,’ Ancient Wiseman said. ‘I have lived long and now I am old but, ‘I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their seed begging for bread,’ Ancient Wiseman said. ‘By my long life I see the danger that is coming around the corner,’ AW said with a smile and wink.

‘We enjoy the Production Pagentry and a Whodunit,’ Throng said. ‘We have drank the Elixir and see the light,’ Throng announced passionately. ‘Elixir Salesman told us that Elixr takes a while to work to be patient,’ Throng continued. ‘He told us to not listen to Ancient Wiseman…too old…too slow…stutters,’ Throng rejoiced.

‘Yesss,’ said Snake as he watched from afar…

‘I can not believe we will see Santa Claus in July,’ Billy B said. ‘He sent me a note and said he would pick us up in front of the Orpheum Theatre this afternoon,’ he continued. ‘He said that he wants to talk about Christmas and its meaning,’ explained Billy B.

‘We need to pack our winter clothes as it is cold at the North Pole,’ Jane advised. ‘I am looking forward to some hot chocolate and Christmas cookies,’ she said. ‘I thought Santa spent his summers in Florida’ Jane said with a puzzled look.

‘I may be wrong but wasn’t Santa Workshop festooned with red and green candy canes the last time we visited,’ Chet asked? ‘I do not recall the broken dolls and rusty tricycles,’ he noted. ‘There are bags of birch rods at both sides of the front door,’ Chet grimaced.

‘Come in my friends,’ The Assistant said as his unusually long tongue rolled out of his mouth. ‘Santa has been waiting to talk with you,’ SA said as a foot and a cloven hove showed beneath his holiday regalia. ‘You will excuse me as I have not had my morning coffee yet,’ SA bleated…

‘What do you need of us sir and where is Santa,’ Neva J inquired? ‘We waited by the Theatre and suddenly the sky turned dark and the wind began to howl,’ she continued. ‘We saw a vision of destitution hunger and want,’ then the sky cleared and we are here but no Santa,’ Neva J stated emphatically!

‘Well that is the problem Santa wanted me to speak to you about helping him promote the love of Christmas to aid in the message of evil coming from politics,’ SA said. ‘You see although I am not as adorable as St. Nick I am his assistant and we have ridden on the sleigh together for centuries,’ SA continued. ‘I can promise birch branches and a good swat for every politician who lies this year,’ SA said with a sly grin and determined stare…

‘Santa is not playing around this year,’ Chet noted as they once again stood in front of the Orpheum. ‘I wonder if Santa knew of our visit with SA,’ Chet mused.

‘Ho Ho Ho…Merry Christmas in July,’ Santa said as he exited the Theatre. ‘I thought that we were going to watch It’s A Wonderful Life what a great Jimmy Stewart movie,’ Santa continued as he smoked his pipe and the smoke encircled his head like a wreath. ‘Has anyone seen a man that looks like a goat around here, he is my assistant and he went to park the sleigh,’ Santa chortled and winked…

The temperature has dropped and I feel Cool and Chill today. It is a good feeling. Often I forget how laid-back life can be if I do not take myself too seriously. As the author Erma Bombeck wrote, ‘If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing In The Pits?’

Throughout my working life, I did not know how stressed I was. With one eye on protecting my colleagues and the other on producing excellent work products the job never left my mind. Assumptions have ruined many good people. We fret and fear that others may not like us or misunderstand us when it is likely that we have not entered their mind.

MJ and I were in Lowe’s this morning. The gentleman who waited on us was friendly and thorough. He took his job seriously. He mentioned that I had a Southern accent. He said that my voice was pleasant. I like hearing such compliments as I have always feared that my voice sounds cartoonish.

A black dog with a grey muzzle was in my place at the Woods today. She was lying on a picnic table with a roof overhead to shelter her from the rain. She barked as I approached as if to say, ‘Find your own shelter.’ I thought live and let live and found my seat outside the shelter.

We are preparing to have some staining and painting done. The lady who came to estimate the project was friendly and efficient. Her demeanor caused us to go with her quote because we trust her. A lesson when hiring folks to do customer service.

I recall Elizabeth from many years ago at the Kentucky Oaks Mall. She had such a way of describing the Gnome Statues made by the Artist Tom Clark that she brought them to life. Once Elizabeth told her story about each Gnome they seemed to jump to life and say buy me and make me a part of your family…

At Southern Illinois University our Custodial colleagues captured the hearts of the community we served. We took our student workers to lunch and had them to our homes for holidays. Chancellors and Presidents mentioned us as examples of the epitome of love for our University and dedication to its success.

Life looks different when you look at it calmly and with an eye for miracles. They are around every corner. They are in front of us. Guardian Angels watch us while we sleep. The hairs on our head are numbered and I have less to count. We seek the Creator. We take our place in the greatest drama of the ages. The frogs croak on the pond in the woods. All is right with the world…

As we departed our church fellowship hall this past Sunday MJ and I encountered an African American man in a wheelchair. He had one leg with the pant leg tied at the knee. We passed and spoke to him whereupon he asked if I had 50 cents for him to go to a local store and buy some baloney. I gave him more than his request and wondered what store sold baloney for 50 cents. I have been asked for money but never 50 cents. When I gave him some money he rolled out the door and towards the market.

The degradation of poverty is real. I have often thought that a dollar is a lot of money when you do not have one. What goes on in the mind of a hungry person? How does it feel to be so hungry that 50 cents is a big ask?

Proud we are that we have worked hard and succeeded in our capitalist society. We pulled ourselves up by our bootstraps and discovered the blessings of America. Some faiths teach that to serve God is to become wealthy. That train does not stop at all stations.

When I was growing up I knew a lot of poor people. I was one. I wore shoes year-round but the kids the next street over saved their shoes for school and church. For a significant time after I moved out on my own, I survived on sparse rations and my clothes hung from my frame. I was working 12 – 16 hours per day. I understood the meaning of 50 cents.

When our land is beset by economic travail we seek the poorest among us to blame for the dilemma. If it was not for the fruit pickers we would have more. Have you ever picked fruit for a living?

Not long ago a couple of men got out of their pick-up truck and began to retrieve the rubbish from the trash cans. I greeted one and he stared at me. I have emptied rubbish for a living and some stared at me rather than speak.

Not everyone who extends a needy hand is a con. Many live in Dante’s Inferno while we live in Heaven on Earth…

July 4th is breathing down our necks. Time to get serious about fun! After the 4th it is a slippery slope to the beginning of school and then the holidays.

‘I am so excited about Pounds Hollow,’ Neva J said. ‘I have packed the Merlot and Uncle R has a cooler of Coors Light,’ she continued. ‘It is so hot and the water of Hollow is so cool,’ Neva J laughed.

‘On this trip, I will look for sharks,’ Chet proclaimed. ‘I saw some the last time we were swimming by the far bank of the lake,’ he said while grinning.

‘You know it will soon be Shark Week on television,’ Billy B noted. ‘I did not realize that Pounds H had sharks aren’t they found in the ocean,’ he asked?

‘Sharks can turn up in the strangest places,’ Jane said. ‘You remember Jaws,’ she asked? ‘One time I had a dream that a shark was in my bedroom and I invited him to sleep on the floor,’ Jane said laughing.

‘Jamie told me that the love of sharks is a permanent state of mind,’ Billy B noted. ‘She told me that if you imagine a shark it will appear,’ he continued. ‘Jaime has a pet shark in a giant pool in her backyard,’ Billy B said with a wink.

‘I see a fin above the water,’ Neva J said with trepidation. ‘She called out loudly…shark…shark…shark,’ and folks began to run in the water as fast as you can run in water as fear gripped the beach full of July 4th revelers.

‘I am swimming out to see if it is really a shark,’ announced Jaime. ‘I know sharks and if a shark is in this lake it will be a first,’ she proclaimed!

‘Hi Jaime,’ said Chet. ‘I thought I would add some excitement to the Independence Day Festivities,’ he said with a wink. ‘I purchased this shark fin from Universal Studios it looks real,’ he laughed.

‘We need to get out of here,’ Uncle R proclaimed! ‘I have seen shark fins before and that is attached to a real shark as he quaffed another Coors Light.

‘Do not worry about Chet with the fake Universal Studios Shark Fin…there is a real shark on the right side of the rope of no return and he is visiting with Jamie,’ Neva J announced.

‘Jaime you are a good friend,’ Shark said with a toothy smile. ‘No harm will come to anyone today we sharks know our friends and love to be around them, Shark continued. ‘I had a big lunch of minnows and sardines which are delicious but it takes a lot of them to fill up,’ Shark continued. ‘I had some eels as well but they are so spicy do you have any Tums,’ Shark asked…

Every time I feel like the old saying, ‘Let John Do It’ I remind myself that this is what we all want to keep continuing…life. We speak of it philosophically and theologically but the practical application is ‘Keep Moving!’ I spoke with a friend this morning at church and we talked of photography and art. I mentioned that I snap photos while I walk I have been walking daily for many years. She told me it was good that I could still walk for health. I pondered I did not know another way to live.

The temptation to move less and think more increases with age. Movement is life. Movement causes the synapse to fire and brain fog dissipates. I noticed in Paris that the elderly were as active as the young only slower and with determination.

Abigail slowly walked with her walker into the sanctuary. Each step was a determined effort of herculean willpower. Abigail smiled at each congregant that she encountered on her step-by-step journey. She sat down slowly in the pew of the church she had been a member of all her life. She and her husband Hershel were in their 90s. They always had smiles on their faces. They appeared beatific. Their eyes were the eyes of children. Their words were serene like the sound of many waters. Their voices were beautiful. When Abigail read the scriptures publically she had the bearing of a prophet. The same struggle to move and walk and negotiate the pitfalls that the young do not know of was Abigail’s journey that she took with the determination of a prizefighter. When she spoke it was as if you were there. The sanctuary evaporated into the words of the Bible. Abigail and Hershel were there with the baby born in a manger. They sat on the hay admiring the gift that only God can give…life…

On my Saturday walk, I tried a new filter on my camera that reminded me of old bright photos of my youth. It is amazing how color affects our senses. MJ and I discussed later in the afternoon what color we wanted to paint our front door. As I have snaped thousands of photos I am keenly aware of the Sun’s effect on the finished product.

We live on a majestic work of fine art. Artists become experts in En plein air painting which is painting outdoors. En plein air enables the artist to capture the changes in weather and light.

What if our animal friends are smarter than we think? They watch as we humans attempt to dominate and subdue them and our mutual home. As we strive to obtain the political power that will place our party and us at the zenith of the mountain they wonder as the parking attendant in Philedelphia told me, ‘What you crying about Man.’

We want to add to the story of life and for our part to be recorded as a major character. The deer fox squirrels and birds are happy with their role. They would be content playing the tambourine if they were in a band.

Jimmy Buffett was continually searching for his lost shaker of salt. He sang of the Caribbean and the peaceful beauty and lifestyle. So fully did he captivate the imagination of his fans that they created a facsimile of his music in their daily lives. Caribbean clothes and the barefoot look took them to their happy place. ‘He portrayed a lifestyle known as Island Escapism.’

Search we do for somewhere other than where we are. As my friend who had lived at the foot of the Rocky Mountains in Colorado said, she could see them out her living room window and soon they did not become so special. The old television commercial portrayed a harried mother saying Calgon Take Me Away…

We are inside the painting. So close that it is easy to forget we are a vital character in the fine art of the Earth.

Rich we are but poor in spirit. Looking for Armageddon and preparing for the end of the world. Focused on the protection of me and mine and no time to think of all of the others.

Protest we do for our rights as Americans. Our native clan sings in the chorus. We will return our country to God as he sits next to us taps our shoulders and says…times up…

‘I love a good monster flick,’ Billy B said with abandon. ‘I hope Chet does not forget that we are meeting at the Orpheum Theatre this afternoon for the summer matinee,’ he continued. ‘Frankenstein in June is a treat,’ Billy B said while laughing.

‘Where have you been,’ Chet asked Billy B? ‘It is almost time for the movie to begin. ‘Frankenstein and I had a chat,’ Chet continued. ‘He says that he is misunderstood and would like to be depicted as a loving cigar-smoking reanimated figure,’ Chet continued. ‘He said that when he threw the little girl in the water in the Boris Karloff movie he assumed she would enjoy it,’ Chet grinned.

‘You mean you spoke with the real Frankenstein,’ Jane shuddered.

‘Yes he was wearing a top hat and tails and is quite a singer,’ Chet noted. ‘He performed with Dr. Frankenstein on stage to thunderous applause,’ Chet stated.

‘Was he singing Puttin On The Ritz,’ Billy B asked? ‘No he sang I Can’t Give You Anything But Love and afterward, he did a comedy routine where his catch line was, ‘I can’t get no respect with a comedian in a rumpled suit,’ Chet said with a wink.

‘Why hello Frank what is the good word,’ Chet asked?

‘I just returned from the Cigar Store and bought you all some Cohibas,’ Frank N Stein said with a grin. ‘Cigars…good…,’ he said.

‘Did Mrs Stein come with you,’ Jane asked?

‘She was going to but was having difficulty fixing her hair I will never get accustomed to her scream,’ Frank said with a wry grin. ‘Come back to my house and I will make you my famous Old Fashioneds,’ Frank said. I will make a movie that will tell my story correctly and call it…’I Can’t Get No Respect,’ he laughed.

The first day of summer is upon us. Time for the department stores to begin displaying their fall selections. It is the time that I anticipate the ‘Ber’ months. The brilliant green of the woods is compelling.

In Eldorado, the parents encouraged their kids to go outside until the street lamps began to flicker. I enjoyed catching fireflies. Summer was the focused time to think and do all those outside activities I could not do in the cold months. There were fewer rules and sometimes none. Now would be the time to plan where to obtain firecrackers in Illinois where their sale was illegal. That made it all the more fun.

When I began at Southern Illinois University in 1978 my first boss told me that he enjoyed hot weather of the kind where the sweat rolled down his back to the crack of his ass.’ I thought too much information.

When we went to Pounds Hollow we were resigned to getting a sunburn and a tan. Tanning lotion was a hot commodity. We wanted to be as dark-skinned as possible. People lay on the hot beach for hours with the women undoing their bikini tops to have a uniform tan on their backs. I wondered what was on the other side.

Innocence was our permanent condition. Neva J lectured me to never use the Lord’s name in vain and the F word was not in our public vocabulary. Dennis W and I saw a Saturday matinee and then walked to Dairy Queen to purchase a pack of Marlborough cigarettes. We walked down the railroad tracks engaged in the mission of smoking ten Marlbourghs each in a rapid fashion.

In those early summers, I had a bicycle that looked like a motorcycle. It was 20 inches and with my long legs, it was a concerted effort to pedal. I imagined that the motor was running courtesy of the playing card fastened in the spokes. I was a unique cyclist with my bicycle/motorcycle.

Have you ever lit a Cherry Bomb? It is a firecracker on steroids. Half of the thrill was the fear of lighting it and throwing it before it ignited. Usually, our fun was limited to sparklers worms, and watching the fireworks display at the Starlit Drive Inn. We did not go to the Drive Inn we watched the show from Grandma A front porch. Safe and secure and enraptured with the light show.

Hot and hotter was our existence in our little rural home. We had no air conditioning. There was a box fan in the kitchen window and we opened our bedroom windows a few inches to facilitate the fan exhausting the hot air from our home and bringing in the cooler air through the cracked bedrooms. It was sweat city. We dreamed of a thunderstorm or a summer rain to cool the air. The sheets were wet with our suffering. We thought cool thoughts but they did not seem to help.

Pounds Hollow Lake was our savior. It was an aquatic world. The Sun had no effect on the cool water. Plans could be constructed in the murky depths. Thoughts of triumph and adversity melted in the peaceful surroundings. I learned to swim but not very well but I could float like a beach ball. I floated beyond the rope of no return to the scary other bank far away from the maddening crowd. I was the captain of my ship and the master of my soul.

Neva J and I sat with Aunt Guelda and Grandma A on her massive front porch and discussed family and friends’ faith and the struggle to survive. We knew that the Vietnam War was raging and not only Cousin Billy but Brenda’s husband Danny Doris was going to have to go, We feared the worst. Uncle Dutch had gone missing in World War II.

The Orpheum was an Oasis from the summer heat. Many Friday nights Saturdays and Sundays were spent in its cool confines. Elvis and John Wayne and Frankenstein and Dracula to keep us company. They did not like the heat any more than we did. We were comfortable in the air-conditioned dark with them.

The Pool Hall was air-conditioned. Dennis W and I went there after the Marlborough railroad walk. There were people there who appeared to have witnessed the seamy side of life. We shot some games and knew we were as big as any dog in the pound…