Jonathon and I saw a lovely movie yesterday called In And Out 2. It had been so long since In And Out that I did not recall it until I saw the characters illustrating the girl’s emotions at their control panel in her head. The famous angry comic Lewis Black was the red gremlin of anger.

We like to think that we are of sugar, spice, and everything nice when we all have some snails and puppy dog tails. Not that there is anything wrong with that Jerry Seinfeld would tell us. All of our emotions make us who we are. We are a complex creation.

We all make mistakes daily. We are residents of Assumptions, a vast city containing rooms hidden in rooms and doors that open into large falls. We are angry with others and do not remember why. We do not speak up for fear of embarrassment. We have anxiety based on our experiences both real and assumed.

It is not the falling it is the getting back up. In fact, most of life is ‘Get Up.’ Success is just within our grasp if we get up and continue down life’s magical and mystical road.

Emotions are our constant companions. Soon we will have a Presidential Election and many of us will vote according to our emotions. We rely on instinct and intuition. Facts are as dry as leaves in December. Emotions often replace the rudder of our ship. I have witnessed people quit good jobs because their instinct told them to do so.

Alice In Wonderland is the home for many of us. We enjoy living in our fantasy construct. If we could see inside each other’s heads what a vision of a pleasant land it would be.

One of my favorite movies as a youngster was The Wizard Of Oz. In those days it only came on once a year and that was a holiday.

‘Mylo we are not in Kansas anymore,’ said Jane. ‘That was a heck of a storm at one point it felt like it took the car that Earl was driving and spun it in the air,’ she continued.

‘Woof…Woof…Woof,’ said Mylo.

‘Look ahead three people are coming down what appears to be a yellow brick road,’ Chet announced.

‘Greetings I am The Cowardly Lion and I am looking for someone to wear this hot Lion’s Suit for an hour so that I may take a swim in Pounds Hollow,’ CL said.

‘I will wear it,’ Chet said with bluster. ‘I have always wanted to be the Cowardly Lion.

I will wear the Scarecrow outfit if you need a break for a swim,’ Neva J said. ‘I think I could be a good Scarecrow,’ she continued.

‘Oh I would love that it has been so long since I swam in the Hollow,’ Scare C said.

‘Take it off Tin Man I am your guy to give you a respite while I keep the Tin dry,’ Billy B said with a laugh.

‘Don’t the Cowardly Lion Scarecrow and the Tin Man look as free as birds on the wing,’ Neva J said as she removed a pesky piece of straw from her ear.

‘They are swimming all the way to the far bank I can barely see them,’ Billy B said.

‘I do not think that they are coming back we are the new ensemble,’ Chet observed.

‘Yes my pretties you are the replacements enjoy Oz,’ said The Wicked Witch Of The West…

‘June is Bustin’ Out All Over,’ says the rollicking song from Carousel. June always reminds me of the fleeting of each season. As a lad, I waited for summer break for nine months and when it came there was June in all her glory of endless fun days at Pounds Hollow. Sleeping until noon was an option along with BLTs for breakfast and bicycle rides to Eldorado every day I chose. Shooting my pellet gun and pretending I was Daniel Boone. Staying up past bedtime and even watching a late movie or Joey Bishop. June was a magical month…and then it was gone.

July 4th came, and it was almost time to shop for back-to-school clothes, paper, pencils, and good erasers. We returned to school during the second half of August and the Summer Clock was racing to the conclusion of nirvana. The old folks told me that time flies when you are having fun. So, after the 4th it was a slippery slide. The days seemed to grow shorter as they really were and the grin on Neva J’s face seemed bigger with each passing moment.

There were weekly visits to the Starlite Drive Inn and the special Drive Inn Food. The speaker felt like it was made of iron and we hung it on on car window whereupon you could not shut the window all of the way due to the massive sound device, bugs invaded the inside space of the car. Many entered the Drive Inn through their car trunk and did not emerge until it was almost dark.

Carnivals were attended. Rough-hewn people operated the rides and when you smiled at them they did not smile back. They had seen little kids before. The mystery of the Freak Shows was compelling. How did the headless man eat and speak with no head? What was everyone whistling and calling out about when the man in the pink pants invited adults to come in and watch the exciting show? Cotton Candy was as sweet as sugar. In those days we sometimes won kewpie dolls if we succeded at the skill of shooting the ducks off of their bank with the little tethered guns.

What cruel irony that summer or movies swimming picnics and being my own boss ended in a moment. Soon there would be demands and goals deadlines and pop quizzes.

Christmas was coming…

Many of us who have reached the Golden Years are familiar with the admonition Take Once daily. The instructions are also how to approach life. We live in the future. We live in the past. We have active brains. Our real-time life is occurring as I write this piece and it will transpire as you read it. A photo gives the subject of the picture the moment you snap it. It will look different a moment later. Each moment is important.

Each holiday I think about the holiday before. Those are not today. Today is unique. MJ and I enjoyed a movie the other evening where the character played a psychologist who told his class that they are made up of their experiences and thus different experiences would make them different. Later his life experiences proved his hypothesis.

So, life is new every morning and every moment. It is a wild ride and the ultimate adventure. Life is mysterious and we have yet to ascertain its depths. It morphs like a fun house mirror. It has the multi-colors of a kaleidoscope. It has the scares of a Stephen King novel. It has the thrill of a rollercoaster.

Happy Father’s Day…

Father’s Day Weekend is here. I always wanted to be in theatre and now I have the role of a lifetime. Nothing in life has suited me more.

Often I have observed others in search of Dad. We search for our father who is looking out for us. We desire Dad to have our back. Difficult questions about our involvement in the intricacies of our existence require Dad to give us sage advice. We want to see his benevolent gaze.

Home is where Dad is. Dad gives us a sense of place. No matter what happens we know that Dad has the wisdom of what we need.

Dad may take the personage of a good pastor. Dad can even be a good and caring boss. Dad can even take the form of a loving brother.

‘Neva J bought me a ball glove and baseball,’ Billy B said. ‘She and I have been playing catch and I am getting pretty good,’ he added with enthusiasm.

‘Thelma told me about the Birds and the Bees the other day what a wild ride,’ Chet said. ‘Before Dad passed away he said that it was just about time for the Talk,’ Chet went on to say with a sly grin.

‘Pastor Jack is a lot of fun he took us all fishing and he showed me how to bate a hook with a wiggly worm,’ Jane laughed. ‘When Tonia was bullying me he showed me how to box like a boxer, one hit and Tonia became my friend,’ Jane laughed.

‘I have a painting hanging in my bedroom of Christ sitting on a hill overlooking Jerusalem he has the saddest eyes as if he were the Dad of all that he surveyed,’ Billy B noted. ‘I felt that Jesus was my Dad and that he knew me,’ Billy B said.

‘I told Dad that I was Gay and he told me that he loved me and was proud of me,’ Joey S said with a tear of love in his eye.

‘Mr B I know that I have violated the rules and I am sorry…I will never do it again…you have a fatherly spirit that touches my heart,’ Valuable Colleague said…

None of us want peril. We want peace. Yet the ghost of peril is all around us. I have witnessed people who prognosticated peril just around the corner. Upon examination, I discovered the danger was within them; thus, they believed Armageddon was in store for their colleagues’ careers for the church and our nation. It is common for many to look out for internal struggles to extrapolate the same for their surroundings. I recall an assistant director telling me that our entire department was ready for privatization which would have meant my job and hundreds of others. Time would reveal his own criminal activity and subsequent prison sentence.

The fear of peril is daily in our nation’s nuclear deterrence policy. We look for and expect the other guy to shoot first and ask questions later. Leaders lead for a variety of reasons. Some are altruistic and others are the star of their own Hero Movie. Assumptions and instinct rule their political decisions.

Stress affects humans in many ways. Some rise to the occasion and possess a renewed focus commensurate to the problem. Others live in their head. Their thoughts are their counselors. Narcissism is found in many arenas.

Peril is the primary accusation of both the Republicans and Democrats. Each political party has this troubling feeling for a different set of reasons. Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito said it would be nice if we could split the difference but some things cannot be negotiated. Justice Alito’s wife agreed with the person recording her that we need a return to holiness.

Who’s definition of holiness is she agreeing with. Mrs Alito went on to say in the recording that she had to look at a Pride Flag across her lake and that she wanted to erect a Sacred Heart of Jesus flag.

So many Christians attest that the United States is a Christian nation. What about the numerous religions of Americans who are not Christian? Do we respect their right of Faith or lack thereof as is enshrined in our Constitution?

My stepfather feard tornadoes and thus chose to drive around in the dark and study the black sky to determine which way to turn to dodge the storm.

We are at the tea party with Alice In Wonderland. Fantasy has become our creed and our friend. The Cheshire Cat is smiling. We read each word of the Bible and take the words that agree with our sense of peril. We ignore those words that we disagree with…

Hate rules our Christian Nationalism. It is not getting us very far. Countless millions have been killed in the name of religion. Yet the peril of contrasting faith communities continues.

Another lovely June day. Each day is precious when you live in the moment. A sense of place is comfort. Being comfortable in your own skin is priceless. I saw Shari Jade and Molly on my daily Woods Walk. They lifted my spirits.

‘It is almost Christmas in July,’ Billy B exclaimed! ‘I have an early Christmas gift for each of you,’ Billy B continued. ‘We must go to Pounds Hollow for a swim and exploration,’ he advised.

‘Are the gifts at the Hollow,’ Jane asked? ‘I know how you enjoy Christmas and your gifts are always special,’ she added. ‘One year you gave me a Schwinn Bicycle I have ridden it daily since,’ she laughed.

‘I am hoping for a Frankenstein mask and hands from Universal Studios,’ Chet intoned. ‘I have admired your Creature From The Black Lagoon ensemble for some time, Chet added with a wink and a nod.

‘As for me I hope it is a membership in the Wine of the Month Club I especially love Merlot,’ said Neva J. ‘The Ballon Wine that we make in the basement is great but not Merlot,’ she added.

‘Look at all of the June swimmers they have a peaceful aura,’ said Jane. ‘Are the Christmas in July gifts in the 57′ Chevy trunk,’ she asked. ‘The drive to Pounds Hollow is enjoyable with Neva J singing and the Moo and Cackle hamburgers to eat on the journey. ‘I visualize Christmas in December and all of its love and camaraderie,’ she noted with a happy tear.

‘Dad was with us last Christmas, he was very sick but he rallied for the big day and no one put more holiday spirit in the celebration than he,’ Chet said with happy tears and fond memories.

‘Rosie spent last Christmas with us she was so happy to be with people who loved and respected her,’ Neva J said. ‘She said that all she had known was being set apart and ignored unseen by people next to her in the grocery checkout line, Neva J continued. ‘We were her true family, Neva J said softly.

‘Chet, remember the times we swam beyond the rope out into the deep water over to the far bank of Pounds Hollow how exciting it was and the mysteries that we discovered,’ said Billy B. ‘We were invigorated and afraid of the unknown,’ he added. ‘I could not have made the swim if I had not known how to float,’ Billy B winked.

‘I recall how wonderful Star Trek was as an episode came out each week,’ Chet answered. ‘Adult life was the ultimate mystery we knew our lives were about to change,’ Chet commented.

‘Neva J made the best Roast Beast and her Christmas Coffee Cake was unparalleled,’ Jane said with gusto. ‘Her aluminum Christmas Tree with the color wheel shining upon it was a delight,’ she added. ‘Christmas with her was like living in two centuries the time of Dickens with Scrooge and Tiny Tim and the uncertainty of the 60s’,’ Jane observed.

‘The gifts are memories now that we are in our 60s’,’ Billy B said. ‘Where we have been has brought us to where we are,’ he whispered…

Peace is a valuable commodity. We seek it in the most peculiar places. King Midas sought it in the accumulation of gold. Often we do the same. If we can just obtain enough money we will be happy and secure. Money brings with it the respect of our peers in a capitalist society. I marveled at the placing of members of the Board of Trustees for our University in that they were by and large rich. Does money bring wisdom?

The same fiduciary construct exists in politics. Of late the perception of riches is as good as the riches. So those who have the money make the rules. They may be habitual liars but that is glossed over in favor of supplication to riches. The old saying that sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me is wrong. Words can do damage more than sticks and stones. Words lift up dictators and elevate imbeciles. Fascists enjoy the power of their untruthful rhetoric. Hitler assured the Germans he would elevate their country to its former glory. He did not tell them the price.

Churches bow their knees to money. It is easy to have two congregations in the same sanctuary. Those who have the pocketbook and prominence and those who have no voice. A popular doctrine sweeping much of the world is that serving Christ brings prosperity. The more money you give to the organization the more you will receive from God. Perhaps Jesus has his eyes on the shekles rather than the dove. Soon we need not look for humility and piety but McMansions and fine automobiles.

Peace can not be purchased. Peace is a state of mind.

‘I am looking forward to our time in the woods,’ Chet said.
When I feel down or depressed I find solace in the grandeur of God’s creation, he continued. ‘Mom sent some Oscar Mayer Wieners for us to roast but I want mine straight out of the wrapper,’ he laughed.

‘I am bringing along my laptop to do some writing the woods inspire me,’ Billy B said. ‘I get some of my best story ideas while listening to the birds sing and watching the creek flow over the sandstone,’ he said.

‘I have packed some Merlot hamburger and chips along with Hershey Bars and marshmallows of Smores,’ Neva J said with a wink and laugh. ‘Each time I am in the woods I feel like I am in church,’ she continued.

‘I enjoy being far removed from politics and pride,’ Jane said. ‘The artificial of politicians makes me nauseous, she noted. ‘Woods and flowing streams are my sanctuary, Jane explained.

‘We are here such a short time we waste so much of our beautiful gift with conmen and narcissists,’ Chet said with some knowledge. ‘Continually we are promised that which they have no intention of delivering except when it helps them,’ Chet continued. ‘A few good public servants go into the servitude of the people only to soon become rich and forget who sent them to their lofty office, he said.

‘Who is that man sitting by the rushing babbling creek,’ Neva J asked? ‘He looks strangely familiar,’ she added.

‘Would you like to join us for some Smores,’ Jane asked? ‘Come closer to our fire and we will tell tall tales and eat hot dogs and drink Merlot,’ Jane told the stranger.

‘I love Merlot and chocolate, Stranger said. ‘I have been waiting on you I am glad to join your camp feast,’ Stranger said. ‘I have become a bit chilly with the dark,’ he noted with a shiver.

‘Hold on my friend I have a hand-knitted sweater in the 57′ convertible that I will retrieve for you,’ Neva J said with a flourish.

‘Now I am fed and warmed,’ Stranger said. ‘Have you heard this song,’ as Stranger began to sing? ‘Jesus loves the little children all the little children of the world…red yellow black and white all are precious in his sight…Jesus loves the little children of the world.’

‘I have constructed you another Smore,’ Chet said joyfully.

‘Stranger was gone but his singing could still be heard…like the sound of many waters…

Starting out as a lad without a Dad was a solitary experience. I saw my Mom needed me. I soon became her protector. I watched as she struggled to make our lot in life better. She enrolled in adult education for Photography. She was a brilliant woman with only 2 years of high school. I quickly understood the power of women. Mom was tough and compassionate. She made what was a life of little material possessions a joy. Although she had little money she had some for those less fortunate than her. She made me eggnog each morning for breakfast. I hated eggnog but loved her so much that I never told her. I poured it out regularly rather than admit my distaste for the raw egg. Neva J knew she was preparing me for the rigors of the day ahead.

I learned early that I enjoyed the role of peacemaker. I had witnessed conflict and discovered that I had some ability to bring people together. Mom was not shackled to a form of religion instead she chose the faith of helping others. This was Christianity to me. She feared that she had colon cancer. I called her each day from school to check on her health.

As I began in church life I sought conciliation and agreement. If the goal was to make Heaven our home I understood that the walk of faith must start here and now. I left a church I loved when it morphed into an organization filled more with rebuke and recrimination rather than Christ’s message.

Work-life was the same for me. I tried to put people first and an excellent work-product followed. We all make mistakes, and we all need a second chance. When I was asked to lead the department I endeavored to lead by example and reminded myself daily that there were smarter people than me in the group. My father-in-law had a saying that I reminded myself of often, ‘Never let someone take your dignity.’

When I retired a person told me that many in his department liked my style of management. His comments were humbling. Servant leadership was my goal.

I knew a Chancellor who was a servant-leader. She inspired so many who had no voice. She would walk into a field being mowed by a Grounds worker to introduce herself and shake the person’s hand. No executive applauded her but we were amazed that we mattered to her.

My philosophy has brought me comfort. When an African American speaks well of me I am honored. When a person who lives with unique challenges remembers my name I am again…humbled. I listen to the ideas of others with an open mind and often I am convinced of their ideas.

We do not have all of the answers. We struggle to ask the questions. So many of us are like Billy B who had to save his money until he had a dime to go to State Street to purchase a glass of milk. Many of us did not have the 20 cents for the hot lunch and thus ate our brown bag sandwich in the first-grade classroom by ourselves.

Neva J bought me a ball glove and a baseball bat and played catch with me in the backyard. I have relished a game of catch to this day.

It is much cooler today and some lovely rain. It suits my solitary soul. I enjoy visiting cities but I have never wanted to live in one. Natural surroundings are my elixir. Mr. Squirrel is outside the Writing Porch. He seems content. Life is a beautiful pursuit.

Father’s Day is a week away and is a celebration of my greatest joy. Aaron and Jonathon are MJ and my consuming pleasure. Being near them lifts my spirit. I see their mother in them and even a little bit of me. What a miracle they are! Each time they share with me what they are doing I am blessed.

I reflect on the days of my youth. I was a searcher even then. I hoped to connect with the purpose of life and my role in it. I loved older folks and sought their company. I knew that they must have the answers to life’s persistent questions. When I began attending a little country church in Elkville I made a point of shaking hands with every congregation member. The church was comprised primarily of people of the golden years. They treated me warmly. I became convinced that the Christian life was worthy of pursuit.

I met my friend Jeff when we were teenagers. He was a member of a hippie commune living at the other end of Royalton Blacktop. Everyone there was so friendly. Many of the group were Jewish. We had matzo balls and Gefilte fish. They had a shower in the backyard that I used after staying overnight with them. The shower had a foot tub on top of its roof and a hose attached with a valve to turn on and off the water. I noticed that the view of the curtainless door was as far as the eye could see. They told me that there was more privacy when the corn was high.

The Bible was a new world. I became enamored with it. I had never experienced a group of people so loving and accepting. Peace is the province of Christ’s teachings.

We did not think of politics. We thought of living out the message of the sad-eyed Carpenter. My love of Reverend Billy Graham was that his message of Christ was simple and did not vary. Jesus loves you and why not come to him and find out. Jonathon and I heard him speak in St. Louis when he was 80.

Harsh words never help they hurt. Mean pronouncements and judgments of others are not the Message.

Many years ago Physical Plant administration at Southern Illinois University decided that the Housekeeping department needed expert advice. They hired consultants from Georgia at some expense. When their final report came back to us it was so convoluted and difficult to follow that the first thing I did when I became the superintendent was to throw the Georgia Report into the waste basket. They had attempted to make something simple…complex as an example of professionalism.

So it is with Christ’s message of love and acceptance. ‘Render unto Cesar the things that are Cesars and unto God the things that are Gods.’

Many disciplinary issues that I encountered were best handled as a collegial talk behind closed doors with an agreement to ‘go and sin no more.’ As long as we retain our dignity we reason together to avoid mistakes.

‘Weeping may endure for the night but joy cometh in the morning.’