Starting out as a lad without a Dad was a solitary experience. I saw my Mom needed me. I soon became her protector. I watched as she struggled to make our lot in life better. She enrolled in adult education for Photography. She was a brilliant woman with only 2 years of high school. I quickly understood the power of women. Mom was tough and compassionate. She made what was a life of little material possessions a joy. Although she had little money she had some for those less fortunate than her. She made me eggnog each morning for breakfast. I hated eggnog but loved her so much that I never told her. I poured it out regularly rather than admit my distaste for the raw egg. Neva J knew she was preparing me for the rigors of the day ahead.

I learned early that I enjoyed the role of peacemaker. I had witnessed conflict and discovered that I had some ability to bring people together. Mom was not shackled to a form of religion instead she chose the faith of helping others. This was Christianity to me. She feared that she had colon cancer. I called her each day from school to check on her health.

As I began in church life I sought conciliation and agreement. If the goal was to make Heaven our home I understood that the walk of faith must start here and now. I left a church I loved when it morphed into an organization filled more with rebuke and recrimination rather than Christ’s message.

Work-life was the same for me. I tried to put people first and an excellent work-product followed. We all make mistakes, and we all need a second chance. When I was asked to lead the department I endeavored to lead by example and reminded myself daily that there were smarter people than me in the group. My father-in-law had a saying that I reminded myself of often, ‘Never let someone take your dignity.’

When I retired a person told me that many in his department liked my style of management. His comments were humbling. Servant leadership was my goal.

I knew a Chancellor who was a servant-leader. She inspired so many who had no voice. She would walk into a field being mowed by a Grounds worker to introduce herself and shake the person’s hand. No executive applauded her but we were amazed that we mattered to her.

My philosophy has brought me comfort. When an African American speaks well of me I am honored. When a person who lives with unique challenges remembers my name I am again…humbled. I listen to the ideas of others with an open mind and often I am convinced of their ideas.

We do not have all of the answers. We struggle to ask the questions. So many of us are like Billy B who had to save his money until he had a dime to go to State Street to purchase a glass of milk. Many of us did not have the 20 cents for the hot lunch and thus ate our brown bag sandwich in the first-grade classroom by ourselves.

Neva J bought me a ball glove and a baseball bat and played catch with me in the backyard. I have relished a game of catch to this day.

It is much cooler today and some lovely rain. It suits my solitary soul. I enjoy visiting cities but I have never wanted to live in one. Natural surroundings are my elixir. Mr. Squirrel is outside the Writing Porch. He seems content. Life is a beautiful pursuit.

Father’s Day is a week away and is a celebration of my greatest joy. Aaron and Jonathon are MJ and my consuming pleasure. Being near them lifts my spirit. I see their mother in them and even a little bit of me. What a miracle they are! Each time they share with me what they are doing I am blessed.

I reflect on the days of my youth. I was a searcher even then. I hoped to connect with the purpose of life and my role in it. I loved older folks and sought their company. I knew that they must have the answers to life’s persistent questions. When I began attending a little country church in Elkville I made a point of shaking hands with every congregation member. The church was comprised primarily of people of the golden years. They treated me warmly. I became convinced that the Christian life was worthy of pursuit.

I met my friend Jeff when we were teenagers. He was a member of a hippie commune living at the other end of Royalton Blacktop. Everyone there was so friendly. Many of the group were Jewish. We had matzo balls and Gefilte fish. They had a shower in the backyard that I used after staying overnight with them. The shower had a foot tub on top of its roof and a hose attached with a valve to turn on and off the water. I noticed that the view of the curtainless door was as far as the eye could see. They told me that there was more privacy when the corn was high.

The Bible was a new world. I became enamored with it. I had never experienced a group of people so loving and accepting. Peace is the province of Christ’s teachings.

We did not think of politics. We thought of living out the message of the sad-eyed Carpenter. My love of Reverend Billy Graham was that his message of Christ was simple and did not vary. Jesus loves you and why not come to him and find out. Jonathon and I heard him speak in St. Louis when he was 80.

Harsh words never help they hurt. Mean pronouncements and judgments of others are not the Message.

Many years ago Physical Plant administration at Southern Illinois University decided that the Housekeeping department needed expert advice. They hired consultants from Georgia at some expense. When their final report came back to us it was so convoluted and difficult to follow that the first thing I did when I became the superintendent was to throw the Georgia Report into the waste basket. They had attempted to make something simple…complex as an example of professionalism.

So it is with Christ’s message of love and acceptance. ‘Render unto Cesar the things that are Cesars and unto God the things that are Gods.’

Many disciplinary issues that I encountered were best handled as a collegial talk behind closed doors with an agreement to ‘go and sin no more.’ As long as we retain our dignity we reason together to avoid mistakes.

‘Weeping may endure for the night but joy cometh in the morning.’

We work hard so we can play. Playing is important. Whether it be on the beach or on holiday or at the beach on holiday we need to relax. New places and new faces put us in a sunny mood. We learn by mimicking others. Monkey see monkey do.

‘I am so excited about our trip to Disney World,’ said Jane enthusiastically! ‘I have wanted to go there since it opened and now I will soon be there,’ she said.

‘I hear that in the Hall Of The Presidents that they have robots that can talk to you,’ Billy B noted. ‘I plan on asking President Kennedy some questions,’ he continued.

‘They are Animatronics and can not answer questions,’ Chet said with a grin. ‘They are deceptively realistic, however,’ he added.

‘Welcome Billy B I have been waiting on you,’ President Kennedy said with a familiar smile. ‘I almost was late for the show this morning as I had not finished the papers and my second cup of coffee,’ Kennedy continued.

‘I was told that you could not answer questions,’ Billy B said with disbelief.

‘Well you may recall that they took my brain out for examination after my assassination, they gave it to Mr. Disney and he put it to good use,’ PK said with a wink and a nod. ‘President Nixon comes to me regularly for advice and I have visited him a few times in the White House,’ PK elaborated.

‘How is your aching back,’ Chet asked?

‘I threw away my back brace and have never felt better I am going to Hyannisport this weekend for a game of touch football,’ he winked…

Another overcast and rainy day. My kind of weather. The slowing of activities the peace of the pitter-patter of rain and my introverted outlook are a good correlation. Road work is all over town. Repairs are best accomplished in the warm months. Crisis enjoys the covering of clouds. We all face real dangers and then there are the valleys of our own making. It is important to see what needs to be done and do it. Throughout history, good people willing to ‘Say More’ have advanced our species.’

The former FBI Director had the habit of telling the briefer to say more. Solid information is essential to solid results. Truthful words dispel conspiracy theories. It is easy to sit back and let someone else take the heat when candid conversation is required.

I witnessed countless meetings where staff at high levels were afraid to speak truth to power. Agreement and supplication seem safe for the present distress. I watched our beloved University shrink from nearly 25 thousand students to a bit over 10 thousand today. The lack of ‘Say More’ can be directly attributable to the decline. It seemed to rise high in the organization that one must zip their lip, not rock the boat. The boss is always right and that includes their inane jokes. Laughing was required often manic.

There is a reason that a sinking ship does not have enough lifeboats.

So it goes with our nation. The truth of good governance lies between conservatives and liberals. If we are honest we all have a bit of both in our DNA. Neither side are devils masquerading as angels. We all want what is best for our children. We all want peace and economic opportunity. We all want to see our nation succeed.

Sophomore and goofy pronouncements are an illustration of our worst fears and nightmares. Our nation was founded on the idea that ‘all men are created equal.’ We love liberty. We want to be left alone when it comes to government overreach and to help our neighbor. Who people love is none of our business. Where they worship or if they do is none of our business.

We are a lighthouse in what is often a cruel world. Suffering families come to us for succor and oasis. That is our blessing and our burden. Children are hungry. We should feed them. To endanger the life of a mother to fulfill the autocratic desire of old white men is bizarre and wrong.

Change is fundamental. We left England and started our own country because we no longer wanted a king. ‘Live Free Or Die’ we said. We have a multitude of past sins that haunt us. We took the Native Americans land. We embraced slavery. So we are facing whether our almost 250-year experiment will endure another 250 years. Will we embrace the demographic changes in our nation or continue to pander to fascist ideology.

We Christians say that we want to make Heaven our home. Is that a Heaven of only those who look like us and believe what we believe, or does it include all of God’s children?

‘God’s work must surely be our own.’

June is one of my favorite months. It is the month of Neva J’s birth. Her birth certificate records her name as Neva Jane but all I ever knew was Neva June. She spent her life helping others. Countless people received monetary gifts from her that she never spoke of and no one but the recipient knew. She did not learn to drive until she was 30. She clutched the steering wheel as if it would get away from her. Even in the throws of Alzheimer’s disease she knew the words to every hymn and sang them with gusto. Her anger was firey but her forgiveness was immediate. Neva J understood what being poor meant. When she and my stepfather Earl enclosed the front porch of the farmhouse they had purchased for $1,800 she was elated with what she termed The New Room. The decor was black and red which have become my favorite colors in my senior years.

As I get closer to the end of the story I see Neva J’s wisdom.
Everyone had value. We are all God’s children. ‘Red yellow black and white we are precious in his sight.’

I see the young moms and dads bring their little children to the Woods to play on the playground equipment and remember the days when MJ and I did the same with Aaron and Jonathon. Time passes fast. The kids seem like they will be little forever when they are changing before your eyes.

At various times I have been a member of leadership both in church and at SIUC. I do not miss it I never sought it. I relish being unknown and one of God’s quiet folks. I never felt that I had anything extraordinary to offer for leading others and regularly sought to only help and not hurt.

Age and wisdom bring peace to our role in humanity’s story. Many could have accomplished my little successes, but I was allowed to play upon the stage of life to cause others to understand that they were loved, accepted, heard, and seen.

Often God uses rough-hewn wood and wood with the bark attached to help others. John The Baptist wore a coat of camel hair and ate locust and wild honey. He had neither attended seminary nor been tutored at the feet of the rabbis. Yet he knew that one was coming after him whose shoes he was unworthy to unbuckle.

Humility we seek. A humble spirit is difficult to find in our coterie of elected leaders. A leader who understands that they have been elected for a season and no more. A leader who does not fear the ‘slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,’

The wind of what is coming stirs about us. The Writer is still writing. We are actors on the stage of the grand performance.

When I was a lad June signified the beginning of the summer holiday. No more study, books, or teacher’s dirty looks, Neva J often said. That sounded good. I would awaken the first Monday of June and wonder now what. I did not have a plan but flew by the seat of my P.N. Hirsch pants. There was the Dairy Queen and the Orpheum Theatre. The Orpheum only operated Friday through Sunday. There was TV but only 3 channels and they were dominated by Soap Operas. When Dark Shadows a Soap about vampires began I was a fan.

Pounds Hollow was my main summer occupation. Neva J also loved it, so we traveled there 3 or 4 times per week. Cousin Brenda often accompanied us as well as Chet and Jane. The locker rooms were cool and you placed your street clothes in a metal basket. The smell of the water was enticing. It was a different world. The water contained peace contentment and adventure. I enjoyed swimming underwater and seeing how long I could hold my breath. I surveyed the deep aquatic setting with no diving mask but bare-eyed. This was not Eldorado it was an unseen world. In the murky waters, I could see the Creature From The Black Lagoon little fish and catfish with their massive feline head. There was Captian Nemo and his submarine Nautilus. Blackbeard the pirate was there with candles in his beard.

Those who did not accompany us to our summer retreat knew little of the adventures we had. Seeing the world from a different point of view was exhilarating. Understanding that there was more that is unseen than what is seen. Feeling the provincial reality that the clock did not rule our reverie. No one was our master. Adventure was our banner. Possibilities were our pursuit…

Rosie told me this morning that I had a good tan. I seldom ponder that I am outside a lot. Walking in my Woods and my passion for photography place me outdoors daily. So I looked in the mirror and noticed I had quite a shock of white hair. Now I know why young people speak to me with deference.

When Samuel heard God call out to him he thought it was Eli. Upon taking Eli’s admonishment he learned that God was calling him. A former pastor told me he thought of Samuel when he saw me. This comparison meant much to me as a youngster and Pastor Kerry’s message this morning reminded me of the comparison years ago.

The old Mission Impossible television had the catch line emanating from a little reel-to-reel tape recorder for the spy team of the program that said, ‘This is your mission should you choose to accept it.’ Then the taped message self-destructed in a billow of smoke. So it goes with us humans as we hear the message and then forget it after the smoky demise of our duty.

I have spent my life endeavoring to complete my mission.

‘I love the Bible Story Books I read each time I am at Ferrel Hospital,’ Billy B said. ‘What a magnificent time to live and witness David and Goliath, King Solomon’s Temple, and the journey of Moses and the children of Israel through the desert for forty years,’ he continued.

‘I am fascinated by Jesus healing the blind man with mud and spit,’ Chet said with a grin. ‘Compelling is the account of Jesus forgiving the woman that the crowd was preparing to stone until Christ began to write in the sand while one by one the stoners walked away, I wonder what he wrote,’ he noted with a knowing wink.

‘Abigail is coming for dinner this evening be sure that you do not refer to her as ‘One Eye’ due to her infirmity, she is my friend,’ Neva J said.

‘You know I despise bullies and believe they must be defeated like David defeated Goliath,’ Jane attested. ‘I had lunch with Tommy L yesterday and he is such an interesting person it is criminal how the kids make fun of him,’ Jane continued.

‘We are all different and all the same in God’s heart,’ Neva J said quietly. ‘It is not the showhorses of the world that make life better it is the workhorses, Neva J continued.

‘Pat is at church every time the doors are open he sits alone because he fears rejection,’ Daryl mentioned. ‘He told me that his Dad called him slow but he he hangs on every word of the sermon and is insightful,’ Jane said.

‘He told me that he was never picked for any of the games that involved teams because he was slow to ‘Steal The Bacon’ when he was playing the kid’s game in school,’

‘My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you,’ the sad-eyed son of the carpenter said…

‘The movie The Ten Commandments fascinate me to see Moses come boldly before Pharoh and speak for God to ‘Let My People Go’ caused me to get a long walking stick and imagine myself as Moses,’ Billy B said wistfully. ‘What if we all carry Moses Rod and use it to make the unheard heard and unloved loved,’ Billy B asked with a tear in his eye…

Loyalty is as rare as the Gold of Ophir. We seek loyalty and find it as scarce as a hen’s teeth. Our politicians pledge their allegiance to the Constitution and summarily walk away from their pledge.

I recall when loyalty to the Justice System was paramount in the requirements to be a representative of the people. Now it is whoever has the political pull makes the rules. The Justice System is dammed and right and wrong are no longer applicable as long as ‘I get mine.’

It is right to lie and obfuscate as long as the politician’s careers are intact and not in danger of radical extremism. Twelve jurors were unafraid of doing what they were pledged to do without fear or favor. How is it that well-paid elected representatives of the people were silent regarding what they were against?

Former President Clinton was wrong in his affair with Monica Lewinsky. His parsing of words was embarrassing and diminished him. So our current politicians are made small by their sophomoric recitations of why their titular leader is innocent. We are laughed at around the world for our head-in-the-sand approach. We have rejected rational thinking. Farce has become our loadstar and logic our chain.

‘Come one come all to purchase my miracle elixir,
aid the Carnival Barker. ‘Everyone knows what I say is always true,’ he continued. ‘My successful life is proof positive of my veracity and if you do not believe you are evil and a loser and an enemy of the state,’ Carnival Barker continued.

‘We hunger for a leader to tell us the truth, we long for a leader to validate our unhappiness regarding our blood purity…we want someone on our side,’ the People said.

‘Who are these black and brown people who came to our pristine country to sully its beauty, who are these that do not understand that Jesus is Lord and must be obeyed,’ the People continued.

‘I will bring retribution for the wrongs that have been committed against you, I will stand with you against the ‘shit hole people’ that are invading our beautiful nation…I will be your crusader,’ the Candidate said.

‘I only require your total obeisance, I must have your unqualified support, I may return the favor…if I am in the mood,’ the Candidate said…

A smile is a frown turned upside down. Smiling is good for your health and mental wellbeing. Smiles beget smiles. When someone smiles at me I feel happy.

I had a boss who once admonished me to not smile so much lest the person I was smiling at think me silly or up to something. I continued to smile. I had another boss who told me several years later that I must stop telling people that they looked like a champ. He noted that no one liked it and were just being nice to me not to say to me of their displeasure. I surveyed my staff and asked them if they felt my statement with the express purpose of uplifting them had offended them. They universally replied that the kind greeting not only made them feel better but that they looked forward to it.

I have engaged in endeavors that I would not have had it not been for a sincere smile. A smile is the artistry of the soul revealed on the canvas of the face…

We are shut-ins. We do not know what to expect from those we meet or what our reaction should be. A smile makes a stormy sea calm. The acceptance we crave and a smile is an open door that says come on in, take your shoes off, and throw your coat on the floor…

‘Are you hungry stay for supper, are you weary we have a big feather bed and a wash basin for you in the guest bedroom,’ Smile admonishes. ‘Allow me to wash the dust from your aching feet and enjoy a glass of homemade wine with us by the fire,’ Smile says with a smile.

‘I was rejected in my family home…shunned and chastised and marginalized for who I am…cast out in the cold and hunger was my only companion,’ Child of Want said. ‘People passed by and frowned and sneered and laughed at my poor circumstances, ‘Child of Want continued.

‘Tonight we shall feast and we will kill the fatted calf…rest will be your friend and peace your quilt,’ said the Smiling man with a voice like rushing waters and sad eyes…

Summer is knocking at our door. Hope is in the air unease is in the air. Such is life. A dear friend often asks folks in his organization where they want to be in five years. A good practice is to focus on the future. We want to stay on track. A former pastor told the congregation this admonishment on many occasions. The track is good when we feel at the end.

The United States has felt a bit off track for some time. Shall we form our Republic according to our religious doctrine? We chastise other countries for doing the same thing. The Muslim faith endures criticism for this practice. I am old. I am old enough to remember before the Moral Majority and religion’s resurgence into secular government. Many point to the guardrails of our lauded three equal branches of government. The guardrails are damaged and in need of infrastructure crusade.

Was it alright and good that African Americans were marginalized for the majority of U.S. history? ‘A woman’s place is in the home was often said,’ when I was growing up. It was not been so long ago that women were not permitted to vote. Gay people have been a vital part of our society since its inception. Those who desire a theocratic form of law and society are basing their template on their understanding of scripture and the agreement of their constituency. What are they to do when other faiths in the Christian Life are not in line with those in power?

The reality of political expediency is that you are in vogue today and outside looking in tomorrow.

Neva J taught me that everyone is precious and worthy of being treated equally. Making fun of others was verboten. People of goodwill agreed that defamation and ridicule was a sign of ignorance.

Is a Dictator the answer when their daily decisions are based on how they feel at the moment and who bows and grovels at their feet? In our money-obsessed land shall we acquiesce to the old axiom that who has the gold makes the rules? Supplication is a necessary skill in Dictatorships. Are we longing for our limited understanding of human life to be the rule of the day? Are we willing to be on the losing end of this proposal at any time?

‘I have never seen such beautiful robes and your crown is majestic, the light of your countenance is more brilliant than the Sun,’ the people said. ‘We need not look for Christ to come to save us now that he has sent you,’ the people continued. ‘We have been practicing the ultimate bow where we touch our faces to the floor before your luster and sheen,’ they continued.

‘Has anyone told the Great Leader that he sleeps through the Royal Hearings and is naked,’ the janitor asked?