So, it was Black Friday two years ago and we set our sights on spending the night in the Lemp Mansion in St. Louis.

‘What a lovely dinner, said Chet. ‘That is the finest steak I have had in some time,’ he continued.

‘I have been hearing for many years how wonderful the Lemp House Restaurant is,’ Neva J said with a wide grin.

‘I have my Polaroid camera with me if we see a ghost I am going to snap a photo,’ Billy B announced.

‘Look or Life magazine would give their eyeteeth to have a photo of the Lemp House Ghost,’ Jane laughed. ‘I think it is creepy in here already and we have not yet finished dinner, she added.

‘Lemp Mansion is the site of three suicides by Lemp family members after the death of the son Fredrick Lemp, whose William J. Lemp Brewing Co. dominated the St. Louis beer market before Prohibition with its Falstaff beer brand. The Mansion is said to be haunted by members of the Lemp family.’

‘Did you see the blood spot on the carpet…where William J. Lemp shot himself in the head in the bedroom,’ asked Chet?

‘I do know that the restroom adjoining Neva J and my bedroom is cold and large and the shower is difficult to use,’ Jane said. ‘The sitting room is so large and spooky that I went in there to make a cup of coffee and felt like someone was looking over my shoulder,’ Jane said with a shiver!

‘We are supposed to be the only ones staying overnight in the Mansion and yet I hear people upstairs and in my bedroom I hear a person crying and saying, ‘Oh Frederick…Frederick……

dear Freddy…and then the sound of a pistol,’ Billy B said with his eyes closed as if to block out a disagreeable image.

‘Welcome friends…have you been shopping on this fine Black Friday…how many of you will be joining us for dinner this evening…we have a wonderful steak that everyone raves about…,’ the waiter intoned as Black Friday at Lemp Mansion…began again…

MJ took me out for lunch this afternoon at the Lodge at Giant City State Park. She raved about the chili! The leaves are in full color and many are already on the ground. It is customarily so on my birthday. Aaron and Jonathon got their Old Dad some lovely gifts and a card that has Quilling Art on its front. ‘Quilling is an art form that involves the use of paper that are rolled, shaped, and glued together to create decorative designs. The paper shape is manipulated to create designs on their own or to decorate other objects, such as greeting cards, pictures, boxes, or to make jewelry.’

I watch the old folks wherever I go. I feel a comradeship with them. An elderly couple sat at the table next to us at lunch. I could see the gentleman who was railthin. He had a herculean appetite. He ate and ate and then some more. I wondered if this was his practice or if he had been saving up for his visit to the Lodge. I pondered if his healthy appetite was the key to his longevity.

Last evening I reflected on our purchasing a wooden cabinet television for our living room when we lived in Elkville. MJ and I had not owned a TV since our marriage in March of 1978 until we bought this handsome floor model in 1986. We hooked it up to cable and I was amazed at the shows that were available including many programs of my youth on Nickelodeon. We had Berl and Fernie over to watch our new set and I knew that the F word was coming up in the movie we were watching and thus turned the mute button on…whereupon there it was in all of its glory in the closed captioning. Berl and Fernie were fundamentalists.

I look for happy birthday wishes on Facebook each year. Each one is a gift and lets me know that someone cares about the Old Man In The Woods. I received a Happy Birthday from my good friend Jeff. We are now the same age for a month…and then he moves on to 67.

I thought about turning over the 66 to 99…but I have reached the stage of my life where it is no longer fun to be assumed to be older than I am…

The future is as bright as the past and perhaps much the more so. As I told the supervisor at our post office the other day when she admitted that perhaps her staff had inadvertently cut the packaging for a ring that I had ordered and that may have been the reason for my empty package in my mailbox…’You live and You Learn.’ What I understood to be concrete truth when I was 26 changed when I was 36…and again up until today…66. More understanding and less judgment. More love and less hate. More being ‘in to others,’ and their needs and dreams. and less focus on just my tribe.

‘I think I could live in Maine year-round, Billy B said enthusiastically.

‘Well, I saw an advertisement that said the homeowner was renting their home for four cold weather months and that if the tenant could offer some upkeep of the place the rent was negotiable,’ Jane commented.

‘Let us call the Maine Air B&B and see if the deal is still open,’ Neva J said.

‘The Maine Owner says for us to come on out and that they will even pay our plane fare,’ Chet announced with delight. The excitement on the other end of the phone was palpable and I said we would be there by the end of the week, Chet said.

‘Maine in the winter…we better pack our L.L. Bean clothing and perhaps even our snowshoes,’ Neva J suggested.

The house was lovely and large and old. It had a gargantuan porch that looked out over the ocean and an antique bell to ring at your pleasure. There was no air conditioning but then again who needs it in the winter…in Maine.

When they first arrived they were greeted by an etheral ‘Hello…Hello’ but found no one in the house.

‘My goodness I think it is Lobster O’Clock, Billy B said. ‘You know I wonder why the property manager did not meet us…unless the ghostly Hello was his manner of getting acquainted in the Maine Winter,’ he continued.

The House dates back to before the Civil War and has a rich history. It had been a vacation spot for some of the early silent film stars. They enjoyed its seclusion and being able to blend in easily in the rural and quaint towns of Down East Maine.

Of course, there was the missing property manager… except for the disembodied voice.

‘Come quick and look at what I have found, Jane called out. ‘There is a living quarters at the foot of the half stairs leading to the basement.’

The rooms were very spacious…in fact, their dimensions did not match what appeared to be the limited dimensions of the outside of the basement. They were in fact larger than the circumference of the entire structure.

‘Welcome friends…I have just been enjoying a silent movie. I love the old movies, don’t you? I am so pleased that you have taken me up on the winter rental of my lovely home. I inherited it from my great-grandmother. She ran a hospital for the injured Union Soldiers during the Civil War. Many of them died within these old walls.

‘My name is Chet…I enjoy watching Silent Movies on Turner Classic Movies…what is your name?’

‘My friends call me…Fatty…wait until morning when the Bald Eagle screeches…’

I was driving to the Woods this morning and thought to go by way of Makanda, Illinois. ‘Each fall, vultures soar and glide over Makanda and the surrounding areas and signal the beginning of fall and the arrival of the incredible fall colors of Makanda and southern Illinois. Vulture Fest features live music, food, shopping, and art by local artists for purchase.’ At first, I was dismayed at all of the people and the carnival-like atmosphere of Makanda until I remembered that it was Vulture Fest. The population of Makanda increased many times over… today. There was joy in the air. Children were laughing and their parents were in a ‘Country State Of Mind.’

Makanda sits just before the entrance to Giant City State Park…better known as My Woods. I thought that it was a good time to visit the restroom…as is most any time when you are old. Suddenly the door began to jerk not once but multiple times and then an oath that would curl your hair! So…I exited as fast as I could and a lady said that she really had to go…

Billy B could not believe that he was turning 16. As far as he was concerned 16 was an adult with all the rights and responsibilities there unto prescribed. Billy B had big plans. He supposed that if he could obtain a job that would pay him $70 per week he would be alright. He could move out on his own and proceed to live the life of a man. There was adventure to be had opportunities to be embraced and dreams that needed fulfilling.

Billy B had preferred the company of adults as compared to kids his own age for most of his youth. The responsibilities of being the man of the house had been his for some time. Billy B was 16 going on 66… He had taken note that life’s path had a multitude of twists and turns. Also, there did not seem to be a road map for the journey. That is what he liked so much about being a Christian. There was a surety and a certainty that came with the faith. Billy B wanted to strike out on his own and he knew that God was with him.

Well, 16 was a non-starter with Neva J but 17 was graduation from High School and Billy B began his trek to discover what following Christ meant for him.

Fall Splendor was on full display today at Giant City. Leaf Peepers were everywhere. When I encounter them I want to say that they will enjoy their visit and that I have been there all year… October 24 is fast approaching and I feel 65 slipping away. What a glorious opportunity to bid the old age out and the new one in. It sounds a bit like Happy New Year don’t you think?

As I ponder my visage in the mirror, I see not the image of Dorian Gray looking back at me but Jay Brooks and the white hair to prove it. As a young man, I often fretted about how we would make ends meet and when they met…what it meant. As I look back I see my Guardian Angel by my side. All too often we suppose that it is our strength and cunning and skill that brings us good fortune and success and hope for the future…when in reality we are simply along for the ride and God is in control.

A lesson that I learned when I was young was that I would strive to treat everyone I met like I wanted to be treated. I wanted to understand what it was like to walk in their shoes. I knew what it felt like to be marginalized and dismissed a bit like the television character Columbo who played an apparently clueless detective whom people sold short of his abilities. I knew how a single mother felt and the challenges that she faced as Neva J raised me after her and my father’s divorce. I knew what it felt like to be a janitor and to feel as proud of my profession as a doctor or lawyer.

Success is incremental. Failure can drop suddenly. Hope is eternal. Love is the answer…

Billy B wondered just what was going on. He and Neva J were moving to Eldorado. Eldorado was where Grandma A lived and where they went for holidays. His best friends Steve and Susie who were siblings would not be joining him. Danny and Pauly who were also siblings would not be joining him. Ivy would not be there smoking her L&M cigarettes. George and Helen also would not be in Little Eldorado. They were going to move in with Aunt Wanda and Uncle Bill and his cousins Billy Gene and Brenda. He was to begin first grade shortly after their arrival.

The House was a large Victorian house. Every room spoke to him. He did not know if anyone else heard the speaking as it was hard to distinguish if it was audible…but he heard it and it was scary. Billy B’s bedroom was a utility room with a cot and the walls were so close that he simply opened the door jumped into bed and exited the room by climbing off the bed into the gothic living room. The House was ice cold in the morning. There were 7 fireplaces throughout the structure and all of their fires had gone out. He heard a terrible noise emanating from the basement and Neva J told him that his dad was shaking down the clinkers…

Somehow Billy B remembered the House from his past…but how could that be as he was 5 years old. Yet he distinctly felt that he had come home. He recalled playing on the large wrap-around porch and swinging from the massive columns that were along the edge. It seemed to Billy B that he had sat on the porch on many evenings and smoked his pipe and watched the football games at Eldorado High School that was across Illinois Avenue. Billy B. remembered driving a Model T and enjoying motoring the streets of Eldorado. He had been a coal miner.

A well was in the backyard. It had apparently been sealed for many years. Billy B remembered something strange happening at the well.

It was just a few seconds but it seemed like an hour…as Billy B was thrown down the well…with his pipe firmly gripped between his teeth…

‘I am so excited about Halloween coming up in under two weeks, Jane exclaimed!

‘This year I am going as the Lost In Space Robot,’ laughed Chet.

‘That is what you were last year and the year before, said Billy B as he winked.

‘Yes, but it will be different this year as Major Don passed away the other day. He was one of my favorite members of the cast, Chet looked sadly.

‘Oh I think you must be mistaken as I just saw episode 6 and Major Don was in good form and very much alive…it is 1965 and the show just began a few weeks ago,’ Jane said.

‘Morlock is my costume…from the Time Machine…those futuristic humans that Rod Taylor discovers and who he saves Yvette Mimieux… from,’ said Billy B.

‘JFK is who I will be Halloween night…no LBJ for me,’ said Daryl.

A dense fog settled down on Illinois Avenue. It had been warm when they began the night but now it was ice cold. The street lamps show a yellow hue through the ‘pea soup.’

‘I do not know about the rest of you but I am ready to get back home…I have been shivering for the last 30 minutes,’ Neva J said.

I would head home but I do not recognize where we are. I have some type of play phone that is made to look very futuristic,’ said Chet.

‘What is that ear-piercing alarm coming from your new toy…It has a screen like a TV…look and see,’ Neva J called out.

‘On the screen is something called an Amber Alert…and that Jane is missing,’ Chet answered…

My Buddy Brent reminded me it is a great day to walk in the woods. I am attempting to capture the leaves before they are on the ground. With the pleasant fall breeze, they are falling fast today.

Six days till 66. I was so proud to have reached the ripe senior status 65 that I thought it would never end. Now I have a kinship with a famous route…

Uncle Gene was a television repairman. This was a worthy occupation when I was a youngster in Eldorado. I was fascinated watching him test the vacuum tubes in the back of the set and determining which needed to be replaced in order to restore the TV to its Snowy and vertical or horizontal lines rolling through the dim image on the picture tube. When everything was in harmony you had your fingers crossed and the foil was on the rabbit ears correctly you could relish the three channels that you had available for your viewing pleasure.

MJ said why don’t we use our Christmas gift money this year to purchase a new TV for the Great Room. Now, no one seems to say Great Room any longer but I have held on to the description of our living room that the realtor gave it over 22 years ago when we purchased the house. So the large wooden entertainment center that we bought many years ago is going to be sidelined to what we still call Parker’s Room. Parker was our wonderful Black Lab. She lived a cared-for life with a lot of love. But, back to the entertainment center which is another title that you do not hear any longer. It has lived through two or three tvs. It has been my nemesis in getting one of the truly large TVs as a 43-inch was absolutely the largest we could fit in its oaken confine. I remember when a 20-inch counsel TV was considered humongous. The drawers and shelving of the entertainment center held many past treasures. The entire Series of Seinfeld. The entire series of The Sopranos. The entire series of the Larry Sanders Show. Several containers of 35m film have not been developed.

We were so happy to have an entertainment center that it will take up residence…without a TV and we will give Aaron our electric fireplace to provide space for the new arrival in Parker’s Room. The new TV is 65 inches. You may think why did you not get an 85-inch model? All I can answer is that we make changes slowly…perhaps we will get an 85-inch when we get older…

‘It is simply a lovely day,’ He said.

‘I would go so far as to say that is one of those days that you dream about or that you see photos of in Town and Garden magazine,’ She said.

‘Somehow I hate the thought of leaving…this is all I have ever known…I call it home,’ Chet said.

‘It cost a fortune to purchase a home in the Bubble…but I am glad we did. Everything outside The Bubble is chaos but we are seldom exposed to the madness in The Bubble,’ He said.

‘I still think that we should have placed our name on the list. It is horribly hot outside the house…this has never happened since we have lived in The Bubble. Could it be that the Plauge has entered The Bubble,’ She asked?

‘Did you water the plants dear, She asked? You know they can not live without water,’ She said.

‘I gave them an extra dose but the water boiled away in a matter of seconds,’ He answered.

The ship was loading and a line a mile long was waiting to get onboard. Once you entered the ship it was a cool 60 degrees but the outside temperature was 120.

‘On the way to work yesterday I passed 3 mass shootings, Chet said. ‘People have lost all perspective of who they are and what we one time were,’ Chet continued.

‘Well, we forgot what it was to be human somewhere between the Stock Market and nationalism. Tribalism was accepted as the Christian way and those who were not like us…were not Christian,’ He said.

‘Money is the cause…the love of money is the root of all evil…Grandma A said. As long as me and mine are fine…get yours the best way that you can,’ Billy B said.

‘I just heard on the radio that the ship blew up shortly after launch! It is already being speculated that it was carrying much more weight than it was designed for,’ Chet said.

‘I have been reading in my Bible lately…the passages about Hell seem similar to what we are experiencing on Earth,’ Billy B. said.

‘Everyone wants to go to Heaven…that is what the people who put their name on the list hoped for. They look at the lovely image of Earth II in the sky and are certain that their problems will be solved if they can get there,’ Chet said.

Little did the occupants of Earth know that the Hell that they had read about for generations…was their home…

A lesson that I learned as a child is that if I was dependent on something having the Wow Factor happening to me each day to generate my happiness…I was going to be unhappy a lot. Being one with your surroundings and your life is important. The excitement of life is in the little things. Fall excites me. Autumn has a distinct smell. The cool breeze has a voice that says get up and get going or you may miss the beauty.

As MJ and I have taken membership in the senior citizen clan I appreciate every day that our medical maladies are better or at least not getting worse. Today she was told that she did not need to come back to one of her physicians…and she was relieved and so was I. Life is a precious gift and when you set your sail to enjoy its many facets…you will find happiness each day.

Tight Rope is the balancing act of enjoying life. It is easy to fall off if you take your eye off of the Rope. We came into this world with the wonder and amazement and joy of new life. The smiles of our mothers and fathers and the joy of a good poop and a clean diaper warmed our hearts. The first Christmas captivated our imaginations. Santa Claus was indeed coming to our home and he was entering by way of the chimney. Mom and Dad were into us. Man were they in to us… We knew that we must be better than sliced bread.

It smelled fresh and new and wholesome at Grandma Askews. She had the coldest of milk in her large porcelain coffee cups. Grandma A had chickens in her backyard. You had to be mindful to not step in chicken shit. But, it was all good…in fact it was amazing! Aunt Guelda lived with Grandma A. She had an ancient peddle organ in her room that she played for me. It had an etheral sound… Aunt Guelda sang while she played… The sound was angelic.

Christmas was at Grandma A’s. All of the family was there. Grandma A was the Matriarch and the Oracle of our family. At times life seemed complicated until you were at Grandma A’s. Life was simple there. Grandma A did not have a television. She read her Bible daily and prayed throughout the day. She loved Nugget who she later named Narky. Every time Narky saw me he bore his teeth and snarled. His life was wrapped up in Grandma A. We had turkey and dressing and sweet potatoes for Christmas. There was pumpkin pie and fudge and divinity for dessert. We told tales and swapped stories and looked to the new year…