Today I spent my time at the Park watching the plentiful rainfall. Watching rain is one of my favorite pastimes. I find it uplifting and peaceful and calming. It is a bit like life…not every day is sunny without a cloud in the sky. I was set to water my outdoor plants this morning but the happy rain did it for me. Rain slows us down and causes us to reflect on where we are and where we have been.

June is moving right along. I visited the dentist yesterday and the friendly lady at the front said that I was just there yesterday…to which I replied that I had been at her office a week ago. I did however understand how she thought that my most recent visit had been yesterday as that is how fast time goes by. A week seems like a day and a month seems like a week and…well you get the picture…

I visited the Visitors Center at Giant City yesterday and they had the most delightful stuffed wild animals. I wondered why I had not visited earlier.

Aaron and I were commiserating the last evening about our seemingly changing world. I confessed that I had believed myself to be an empathetic person with a modicum of insight and intuitive curiosity…and yet I had discovered that now that I am an old guy I really did not know much about the struggles that each of us endure.

We want to paint our surroundings with a narrow brush and sure and certain brush strokes when in reality we need a humongous brush and halting brush strokes as we reach out to our fellow humans. I have always heard that we should judge not lest we be judged. Or as Neva J. told me that the only certainty is death and taxes.

Kaleidoscopes are wonderful and enlightening instruments of light and color. We peer through our built-in kaleidoscope and assume everyone sees what we see. In reality, everyone sees something different. Snowflake is not an insult…we are as diverse as snowflakes.

I can not legislate who you are and you can legislate who I am. I have no idea what it is like to be you. You may look at me and say how did he come to be. My primary Christian and Faith concern for many years has been how do we treat each other. Not the narrow religious doctrine that some hold fast to. The poorest of us can feel elite when we ascribe to excluding others who do not match our template for holiness.

Fear drives much of religious thought. Or as the saying goes, ‘I would rather be excluded for those who I include than included for those I exclude…’

The other day I was watching the Science Channel and one of the Quantum Physicists said that a shadow of a universe can be seen from a telescope which gave rise to the hypothesis that before our universe existed that there may have been another. They concluded that when our universe is no more that it simply resets itself and begins anew.

Chet thought deep thoughts. He pondered how he had been adopted by Thelma and Carol and who his biological parents were. He remembered living in a different state than Illinois and a different town than Eldorado. In his memories, he was slim and trim and had 20/20 vision. He was the star of the football team and had to beat the girls off with a stick as was a customary saying in the 60s’. He was a student at Eldorado High School and Billy B. was his best friend…but there were subtle differences in his dim recollection.

‘Let’s go to the Orpheum Theatre and see Frankenstein this Saturday,’ Billy B. said to Chet and Jane. Jane agreed but had to ask, ‘Did we not do that already?’ Well, we certainly have talked about it…but we have not gone yet,’ Billy B. replied.

Neva J. was troubled by her recurrent memory of living in Eldorado with Billy B. and the breakup of her marriage. The problem with this memory was that she was happily married and she and Bill and Billy B. lived in Chicago and she was planning on a sojourn to the Magnificent Mile to watch the Debut of Lady and the Tramp with Billy B. and Steve and Susie. She had dreams where she and Billy B. were impoverished and were forced to count on a program for the poor called Commodities to just have something to eat. Also in these dreams, her mom and sisters were constantly after her to go to church with them and get saved.

Jane and Billy B. and Chet were sitting in the Orpheum Theatre thoroughly enjoying Frankenstein with Boris Karloff playing the monster. It was an unusual showing at the Orpheum for Christmas Day…but the house was packed…and the Christmas Spirit abounded!

Billy B. had received a stereo for his Christmas present. He loved his stereo. He was a bit mesmerized by the turning of the vinyl record on the magnificent turntable. Along with the gift of the stereo was the soundtrack of Good Times…the Sonny and Cher movie that he had recently seen and adored…he had a crush on Cher. They were at the midnight showing which actually began at 10:00 P:M:. Billy B. looked down at his Timex Watch which had the glow-in-the-dark feature. The green luminescent numbers and the hands revealed that it was midnight.

‘I do not want to be late for football practice…and Abigail will be waiting for me,’ Chet exclaimed to his mom and dad.

‘Billy B. hurry up we want to get our photo under our massive Christmas Tree…you and me and your wonderful father,’ said Neva J.

‘Mom, do you think that we will ever live in Eldorao with Grandma A. and cousins Brenda and Gene,’ asked Billy B.?

Billy B. watched the continuous rotation of the Good Times Soundtrack on the turntable of his new stereo. He wondered about the loop of life…

It is 6:00 P:M: in our neck of the woods. Another Sunday has come and gone. MJ made homemade ice cream yesterday and today. A June Treat! The Shelters at Giant City State Park had so many cars parked in the parking lots that they were forced to park in the yard and onto the street. A few days ago no one was there and the Park was the forest creatures and my domain.

Peace comes quietly on little feet. There is no clang of the firetruck or peel of the Police Cruiser…there are no cheers from the maddening crowd. You do not feel as if you are lit on fire by the spirit of joy nor do you feel the chill of ice water down your back as in the winning ritual of football games. Peace is simple and sweet and unassuming. Life has natural drama but much of the drama that we experience is foisted upon us by others who are laboring to elicit a response from us that serves their purposes and agenda.

Carefully choose your commitments. Thoreau said, ‘Let your affairs be as two or three, and not a hundred or a thousand; instead of a million count half a dozen, and keep your accounts on your thumb nail.’

In the Tale of The Hare And The Turtle, we all want to be the Hare. Why not, He was far and away faster than the Turtle and he seemed to have so much more energy than his plodding companion. The Hare had many accounts on his mind and still felt that he had time to goof around and still beat the slow Turtle. Mr. Turtle had one thing on his mind…winning the race. He was used to people laughing at his slowness. Mr. Turtle understood how it felt to be the butt of the joke. He did not laugh along with his detractors…he simply kept his head down and continued moving toward his goal.

Billy B. loved Sunday Dinner at Grandma Askew’s. There would be fried chicken and dumplings and cold milk in white porcelain gargantuan coffee cups. Billy B. drank several cups full of the wonderful white elixir. After dinner, Neva J. and Wanda, and Guelda would sit out on the front porch and swap stories. Guelda had just lost her husband Herb to cancer. She was sad and often cried when she spoke of him. They had lived in St. Louis as she had lived with her first husband Lou. Lou was unfaithful to Guelda and Lou’s father told Guelda that Lou was not good enough to eat her s–t.’ Lou’s dad liked Guelda. Sometimes Yup would come over to visit. Yup was from Holland. Guelda called her Yuppie. Yup had the most delicious chocolate fashioned as little wooden shoes from Holland. She gave Billy B. one and he never forgot it. Grandma announced, ‘It is bluing up…look…it is bluing up!’ Billy B. looked but he did not see anything that was becoming blue. Then he realized that Grandma A. was speaking of the new-fangled street lights that had been installed recently. They came on with a light blue hue and did not reach their full color for about 20 minutes. ‘Billy B. you need to start attending church and reading your Bible…the end times are coming and the Battle of Armageddon and the Bible says that the blood will flow to the horse’s bridle. Billy B. wondered how high that was as he had never seen a horse. ‘Look at the fireflies…you better catch some,’ Neva J. said to Billy B. Billy B. retrieved his jar from the 57′ Chevy and commenced hunting the elusive small creatures that you could not see until they lit up.

We are a bit like fireflies…you cannot see us…until we light up…

Life is about movement. The more that we move the better we feel. The longer that we sit with our ills and aches and pains of age…the more we want to continue to sit. We tell ourselves that we are much too old for this activity or that pleasure…and soon our prophecy is self-fulfilling.

Some of the most inspirational folks that I have cruised with were on our first Holland America Cruise. In those days they seemed so old…now they seem like contemporaries. Some couples were pushing their husband or wife in a wheelchair. Others walked very slowly to the Dinning Hall and held on to the rails for steadiness.

I reminisce about the elderly that were around our flat in Paris and in the Park. Walking with canes and often with a little dog…they were out and about to see what the world had to offer.

Activity is transformative for all of us. Nothing battles the blues better than a brisk walk. Things can look a bit bleak until we put on our walking shoes and dive into the ocean of life and enjoy the immersion.

Hope is generated when the neurons in our brain our firing and our synapsis are connecting. Activity causes thought and thought solves problems. Love emanates from bright eyes.

The light must rage against the darkness! I have witnessed many cases of those of us in the Golden Years giving over to what society and our peer group suggested was best for us. Berl loved to fish and could be found at a certain lake almost every day in nice weather…for hours on end. Upon attaining a certain birthday he decided that he was too old to continue to enjoy his favorite warm-weather pastime. Berl also enjoyed planting a huge garden. His vegetables were Blue Ribbon quality. However, he had determined that he was now too old to engage in either activity and thus stopped them cold turkey.

When you are dead…you are done…this is a natural fact that can not be denied. Why give in to fears and fantasies that may diminish the quality of your life and perhaps shorten it as well?

Ninety degrees at 5:30 P:M: and 92 is forecast for tomorrow. Spring slipped right into midsummer. Eldorado was bustling this morning while I took a hot stroll. We visited the other side of town last Monday and I reflected on how many of the occupants of Wolf Creek Cemetary had trod the very street that I was walking today.

Many a hot and humid day I spent in the confines of Eldorado. I would duck into the Ben Franklin Dime Store as it possessed Air Conditioned Comfort according to the stencil of the laughing figure blowing frigid air at the passersby. Air conditioning was something to be treasured in those halcyon days. As a custom, we sought out a box fan and sat in front of it, and thought cool thoughts. The little red food pantry had its doors open and a can of Vienna Sausages propped precariously on one of the fragile doors. Food is an issue across our nation. We brag about how great our country is…and I agree…but many of our citizens and many of our children are hungry…they in today’s parlance are Food Insecure. Mom and I stood in the Commodity Line not long after we moved to Eldorado. We were not the only ones there… Times got a bit better…but not for a while. Today in Eldorado as across our land…there are still hungry people.

Easy answers we have for herculean problems. Thoughts and Prayers.

Poor people know how to have fun. Once Neva J. and Billy B. and Chet and Jane were out in the 57′ Chevy and the ragtop was down and it began to rain down buckets of water. We pulled over the now vintage automobile and struggled and strove to lift the recalcitrant top for many minutes to no avail. Seeing that our efforts were futile we proceeded on to Pounds Hollow for a swim day in June. The more that we thought about our 57′ Chevy Rain Debacle the more we laughed as we were pre-showered for our day of lake Fun…

I know there is a God. I have known it my entire life. I am not given to shivers up my spine or dancing in the Spirit…but I know that my Guardian Angel is with me. Now you may say…give me your evidence…and I will say to feel it is to believe it. Church and faith can be two different things. A church may wrong you…it may be a cult…there is a fantastic amount of them out there…but faith is in your soul and nourished by your spirit. You carry faith with you and is readily apparent under challenging times. Love and faith are a bit the same. When someone wrongs you and you wish them well that is Love/Faith in action.

Billy B. lost his Dad. Not to death but to a fondness for another woman. Until that time the Sun rose and set in his Dad as far as Billy B. was concerned. Neva J. was devastated. She cried day and night and repeatedly apologized to Billy B. Billy B. understood that he was now the man of the house and that he must care for his Mom. Billy B. thought of the Bible Story Books that he had read in Dr. Ferrel’s Office. The brilliant drawings and the hopeful text gave him hope that everything was going to be alright. Time is a healer. Billy B. began to read the Bible and found its words comforting. He read that Jesus loved everyone and was no respecter of persons. Billy B. saw that Jesus was often sad over the condition of Jerusalem and the avarice and money changers and strife that had entered the Temple. Billy B. considered that there was no greater vocation than to follow Jesus. He looked at the painting of Jesus overlooking Jerusalem with a sad countenance. The painting spoke to him. Not audibly for again let me say Billy B. was not given to overt emotionalism…but he saw the living Christ as a reality in his life.

Older became Billy B. and somewhat wiser. He learned that although he had spent his life in church…some churches will take advantage of him. He learned that God and Church were not one and the same. A bad church did not affect Billy B.’s Christian Walk. God was not tied or restricted to any church. God lived in the hearts of men and animals and trees and sky and earth. God was much larger than the narrow minds of humanity that sought to control their brothers and sisters. A sense of place is what God gives each of us…not an artificial title in the church that is used to beat the sheep.

Freedom of thought is God’s way. Freedom of action and freedom of speech is his intention for his children. God is not into clones…

On January first I set a reading goal for 2023. This year the number of books to aim toward is 52. Now, before I’d usually set the goal at 40. My …

Two Books for the Road

The day started early for our annual quest to see our deceased family at three different cemeteries. First to Wolf Creek in Eldorado to see Aaron and Jonathon’s grandfather, Earl.
Aaron brought some wonderful peroxide cleaner with him and a scrub brush and we did some cleaning of the monument. It looked much better. Wolf Creek is the prettiest Cemetary that I have seen. With rolling hills and some shady spots, it is peaceful and serene. As we were leaving we noticed quite a number of people gathering for a Memorial Day Ceremony.

Next was Hickory Hill near Rend Lake where Mom is buried. Now she and her sister Guelda’s stones were very dirty and looked much older than the years that they have been deceased. MJ reminded us that Mom and Guelda had purchased their gravestones in the 1980s’ and they were very pleased with the good deal that they had obtained them for. The nearly 40- year -old stones looked their age. Aaron went to work on them and now they look nice.

Hickory Hill is not far from Pheasant Hollow Winery. Lunchtime seemed fortuitous. Between Orange Kiss and Red and Blue, we were set for Memorial Day repast. From the time that Jonathon and I went to the outside food truck that was selling Philly Steak sandwiches and fries until I returned to the Winery…a humongous crowd had gathered seemingly all at once. The line was three abreast out the door and into the parking lot. Our neighboring town of Herrin has what is called Herrinfiesta and the people waiting for wine were participants in a Jeep Poker Run and Pheasant Hollow was on the list. Having spent an hour longer than we had anticipated at the Pheasant…we chose to do the last cemetery in Elkville…soon.

Satisfying and sobering are the feelings I felt as I stood at the final resting place of my stepfather and my mother. I remembered the many laughs and good times that we had together. Mom was an eternal optimist. She was always grinning and laughing and working to ensure that those around her knew that she loved them and that no one was left behind.

Earl loved his grandkids and took every opportunity to show them that he did. When Aaron was no more than a toddler Earl took him to Walmart in Harrisburg and wanted to know which ball that Aaron wanted. Aaron pointed at a regulation basketball…and he came home with it. Earl loved Cracker Barrel and he availed himself of going on every occasion available to him. Jonathon loved the Peanut Butter Pie at the Barrel and Earl delighted in seeing him eat the first piece and asking him if he wanted another…to which Jonathon replied yes with a wide grin.

Cemeteries remind me of our shared mortality. We are here but a short time and we are gone a long time. Kindness should prevail in our little human experiment. Love is indeed the answer…

The brilliant blue sky was dappled with wispy white clouds. It was quiet except for the singing of the birds and the skittering of the squirrels. The little creek was full of rushing water from the recent rains. The sun shone thru the gaps in the forest green. There was a solemnity and a joy in being one with the woods. A sense of almost having missed the point of life and in later life finding it. The news was hopeless…but the woods were hopeful.

The narrow paths were close but comforting. The old man walked on and identified over 100 species of trees and plants. Each time that he found a new one he was happy. Vines curled up into the sky and trees peered at him as he peered back. They seemed to say, ‘Where have you been Old Man…we thought that you had forgotten us?’

The Great Creator was close to the Old Man in the woods. The Old Man had studied him and wondered regarding him and sought him within buildings made of brick and mortar and stone. In the woods, he could see him firsthand. Live and let live. No gossip…just love.

The visitors saw the Old Man. He seemed to be out of place. Content, he was identifying his trees and taking a plethora of photos…and sitting and thinking with a small smile on his face. ‘Who is the Old Man,’ asked the lady? ‘He is here most days taking photos and walking …sometimes slow…and seeming to have not a care in the world,’ said the man. ‘Perhaps he is retired,’ the man continued. ‘He has been searching for the secret,’ said the Old Lady. ‘When he smiles his little wistful smile…you know that he has found it…’