Logan’s Farm was buzzing with excitement. Grace Goose had been honking all morning about the upcoming Thanksgiving Day Dinner and the fact that this year…instead of the two customary Thanksgiving meals…one for the animals and one for the people…there was to be one combined feast… Todie…Thomas Turkey’s wife…had been chatting with Paula Pig and Paula had said that it was really true and that there would be one long table for all of the farm’s inhabitants to sit at and break bread together. Peter, Paula’s brother, came out of the barn and said, ‘It is not right…people and pigs are not meant to eat together…why it has not been that long ago that people were still eating…pigs!’
Barney Boston Terrier had begun the discussion with Logan and Lucinda regarding the combined Thanksgiving Party. Barney lived in the house with the Larues and he slept with them in their bed. Peter Pig even, snidely whispered, that he had seen Barney perched on the human toilet seat and when he had completed his job…he flushed the…’shitter.’ Peter had heard the term ‘shitter’ on the movie Christmas Vacation when Cousin Eddie was emptying his chemical toilet into the storm drain in front of Clark Griswold’s house. Peter told Paula that if they did attend the human Thanksgiving…he certainly would not use their ‘shitter.’
Daffy and Donald…Duck…were in the midst of a lively quacking discussion. ‘Will we get to sit at the fine dining room table’, asked Daffy? Donald sputtered and replied, ‘They will probably throw us some Duck Feed on the basement floor and push us down the steps…and lock the basement door!’ Daffy said, ‘I have always liked humans…and especially Logan and Lucinda…do you remember the nice neck scarfs that they got for us last Christmas?’ ‘I like them too…but when I smell them it makes me sneeze…I think it is the human perfume,’ said Donald.
Along came Sylvester Sloth. He seemed to be in a hurry…but it was very difficult to tell. Sylvester yawned and smiled…for a long time…and then he said, ‘I was here when Lucinda was ill with Covid…and almost died…and I sat by her bed each night so Logan could get some sleep…Logan told me that he loved me…and I cried…’
‘Come and get it,’ Lucinda bellowed from the front porch that encircled the entire house. Up came Grace Goose leading the way. When she got to the front door she asked, ‘What is the main dish?’ ‘Goose,’ said Lucinda…Tofu Goose… Logan invited Peter Pig to sit next to him and the two got on famously…so much so that they enjoyed cigars after dinner…in the den…and Peter asked where the restroom was…with a large grin on his cherubic face. Sylvester sat on Lucinda’s lap…with a wide smile on his face…as she fed him grapes. Donald sneezed and asked Logan to please pass the oyster dressing.
Thomas and Todie seemed especially satisfied with the magnificent Horn of Plenty. Barney the Boston Terrier began tapping his wine glass with his knife and calling, ‘Speech…speech…Thomas…’ Thomas arose from the goodie laden table and said, ‘I have often heard that if we would all just set down and break bread together…and learn of each other…we could live in peace on the earth that God has given us.’ Thomas went on to say that his ancestors had been the Thanksgiving Dinner for hundreds of years…but today had convinced him that there is a better way…
Barney laughed and said…’Wait until you start sleeping on a Beauty Rest Mattress…