Billy B. and Chet and Jane and Mr. Ronald and Ms. Ira Kaye…were taking an after Christmas Holiday @ Miramar Beach, Florida. Billy B. and Chet and Jane had just left Santa at the North Pole and he was a bit depressed. He told them that it was somewhat common for him to suffer a little seasonal depression after the Big Christmas Push… 2021 had been an especially difficult Holiday Season with the Omicron Variant appearing in the midst of the Christmas Celebration. Humphrey, his primary assistant, and manager of the Toy Factory, had told Santa that he needed a visit to Miramar Beach to soak up some sun…but Santa was chilly. He had cheerfully put on his red shorts and his tee-shirt with a photo of Rudolph emblazoned on the front of it. He had his plastic Birkenstock Sandals for walking on the beach…and he had purchased some Cuban Cohiba Cigars to enjoy as he watched the emerald green waters of the Gulf. Santa usually switched from his customary Meerschaum Pipe in January…for his beloved Cuban Cigars…
Lauren Bacall, Humphrey’s wife, had accompanied the Jolly Old Elf and Humphrey to Miramar…she loved the annual Florida visits. She had purchased for Santa a couple of large novels at Sundog Books in Seaside. Lauren was Santa’s other personal assistant and she had thought that the Cigars and the new Mystery Novels would do the trick for her boss…but he was still a bit down… She went to Winn Dixie Liquor Store and purchased him some…Old Smoky Peanut Butter Whiskey… When he drank a sip or two…he began to smile from ear to ear… Santa ruminated on what method the Whiskey Distillers used to give the wonderful drink its peanut butter flavor.
As Santa walked the boardwalk out to the sugar-white sand beach at Miramar…he noticed a red Santa Cap that looked suspiciously like one of his on the head of an old man sitting in a beach chair…and apparently asleep in front of the Ocean. When he walked up to the old man and said, ‘Nice Hat,’ he noticed that the old gentleman did not move…and that he looked just like him… Santa shook the doppelganger and he was non-responsive… Suddenly there was Lauren beside him and she said, ‘I told you to not drink so much of the Peanut Butter Old Smoky…Whiskey.’
Santa awakened with a shiver…he was cold…and he looked about for the Peanut Butter Whiskey…and he wondered if it had all been a dream… He then returned to the Murder Mystery that Lauren bought for him as Sundog Books…’Death On The Beach…’