The Crow Are Talking…About Me

The heat is breaking…a little. The temperature is currently 85 degrees but it feels like 96 degrees. For the past few days, the heat factor has been 110 degrees and above. It has felt like a sauna. Did you know that crows can mimic human speech mush like parrots? As I sat at a picnic table at Giant City State Park today…I wondered if the half dozen crows that were standing around on the ground when I arrived…and then slowly flew into the trees when I got out of the Forester…were discussing me?

Chet opened one eye when he heard a rustling on the nightstand that is next to his bed. As he reached for his glasses he heard, ‘Hey Buddy…how’s it going…have you heard any good jokes lately?’ When Chet put on his glasses he saw a humongous Black Crow…smiling at him. ‘My name is Clive Crow,’ Clive said. ‘How did you get in,’ Chet asked? ‘I flew in through your bedroom window,’ Clive answered. ‘I prefer flying to walking on most days,’ Clive continued. ‘Do all crows talk,’ asked Chet? ‘Yes…unless we are not in the mood…sometimes there just is not much to talk about,’ Clive said with a wink. ‘My wife sent me out of the nest…she told me to not ‘Mess in My Nest,’ Clive laughed. ‘Her name is Matilda…Matilda Magpie,’ Clive explained. ‘I was smoking a cigar…and she asked me if I had not thought about setting our Nest on fire,’ Clive snorted. ‘I told her that I had sprayed it with fire-retardant…but she did not believe me,’ Clive went on to say. ‘I was in the Park today and I saw several crows cawing and looking at me as if they could not believe what they were seeing,’ Chet told Clive.’ ‘Well…we are basically a curious lot…we like to watch the humans,’ Clive answered. ‘The other day I saw a large man and a Maltese dog walking…and when the Maltese had bowel movement…the man picked it up and put it in a bag…for later,’ Clive grinned. ‘I can only assume that you humans must prize dog poop,’ Clive said with sincerity in his voice. ‘Humans seem to be a bit narcissistic to we crows…you camp out in our woods and leave all of your human litter to clog our streams and cause forest fires,’ Clive said sternly. ‘It seems that you Hairless Ones…seem to have much confidence in your intelligence…but you have no network…you all are your own Island,’ Clive said. ‘We crow stick together and thus see danger from a far off due to our communication skills…while you Hairless Ones appear to be oblivious to the most basic of threats, Clive warned. ‘You lack community…you lack empathy…at least when it comes to we crow,’ Clive said in a whisper.

‘Have you seen Clive,’ Billy B. asked? ‘Yes he is on the Writing Porch with me,’ answered Chet. ‘Has Clive been telling you of his domestic troubles,’ Billy B. asked Chet? ‘He did mention it briefly…but he has been giving me his daily dose of Crow Wisdom,’ Chet answered.

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