Have you found the Lord…was a popular question when I was a younger man. Some would ask about the premise of the question while others would answer that they did not know he had been lost. We have heard so much religious talk that it often sounds like a ringing in the ears akin to tinnitus. It is possible to be a member of a church where the minister brags about the choice cut of steak that he had for dinner last night…while you are eating Cremora out of the jar. My blog yesterday regarding church hit a cord with some of my friends and I realized that dissatisfaction with what church has become as compared with what its ideals are…is vast.

God’s children…human beings…suffer in silence and in the open for all to see. Indeed the problem of food insecurity and hunger and sleeping rough…homelessness…is worse than it has ever been. The Plague of Mass Shootings has grown to the extent that the argument could be made that perhaps we are already in Dantes’s Inferno…and have only to awaken from our slumber to realize our dire predicament.

Sanctuary is. beautiful concept. ‘In The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Quasimodo saves Esmeralda from execution, rushes her to the cathedral, and cries, ‘Sanctuary!’ Many cries today for similar relief.

Bombs or butter we say…we do not have money for both. We do not want our homeless on our streets as they are unsightly and have an odor and they upset the tourists and residents of our shining city on a hill. We do not have shelter for them to go…unless it is very cold. Our society made them addicts and the price of living simply outpaced the poor a long long time ago. We decided that we could not afford to care for the disabled and the mentally ill and the widow and the orphan. ‘Have they no refuge or resource?’ cried Scrooge. Are there no prisons?’ said the Spirit, turning on him for the last time with his own words. ‘Are there no workhouses?’ A Christmas Carol

Happy Valentines Day! I have been a member of one church or another for 55 years. I love going to church. I have served most of the regular offices of church leadership at one time or another. Yet I have been convinced for many years that church is not what takes you to Heaven. Throughout history, people have contorted their personalities and souls to fit the doctrine of the church that they were attending. Marriages have been severed and families have been broken apart. The narrow views of church leaders have often done more harm than good. By the time you hear what God is wanting to tell you…it is a bit like the old game of Telephone where what God said for you is completely mangled by the time the message reaches you through the earthly prejudices and bias of ministers. Church Doctrine is filtered through the sinful flesh of men and women. At times inspired by God and at other times inspired by the carnality of the flesh and bone of humanity.

I have witnessed the most base and earthly desires of ministers being sold as the will of God. Poor sincere members of the church are convinced to give up their finances until they have little left for their own needs. Churches can be Pyarimid Schemes where the minister at the top of the Pyramid gets richer while the poor people in the flock continue to become poorer and suffer the deprivation of those who have an abundance of faith…but in a human and not in God…

How did church leadership and harbingers of the truth decide that only some people fit the narrow mold of members of their congregation? Did Jesus tell his special messengers and Club Members that only the wealthy and the supplicants to the Doctrine need apply for membership in the exclusive clique?

Why would you upend your life and struggle to change who you are…as God created you…to please a man or woman who is so mercurial that today you may be in…and tomorrow you are out…

‘For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son…,’ does not mean that Christ died for the Chosen by birth or bank account or sexuality or ethnicity!

If you believe that you are God’s Child…do you really believe that you need an intermediary to talk to your Dad for you?

Spring is in the air. Winter…bah…humbug…what was it but a bad dream caused by a bit of undercooked meat or a sour stomach. So is life. We live much of our lives either in the past or planning for the future. The grit and determination of the present seem mundane when compared with the golden memories of our past or the august plans for our future. However…today is it…we exist in the nasty or nice now. The past is clouded by our rose-colored glasses and the future by our halcyon aspirations. How could today be special? It is Monday. It is a workday. It is a school day…it is laundry day… It is in its totality… your life…

‘Life seems a bit repetitious don’t you think,’ Neva J. said to Billy B. ‘Indeed I do many of the same things each day,’ Billy B. responded. ‘Why don’t we imagine our hopes for our best selves and take the first step down that road…today,’ Chet postulated. ‘I have always wanted to be a writer,’ Billy B. said. ‘Today is the day to write,’ replied Chet. ‘I would have liked having my own Antique Store…but I never seemed to get around to it,’ Neva J. commented. ‘Why not begin with listing some of the antiques that you want to sell on Facebook and eBay,’ Chet asked? ‘I want to travel and today I am going to call my Travel Agent and book a United Kingdom Cruise,’ laughed Chet with his eyes dancing!

‘These Book Signing events in New York are exciting,’ Billy B. said with a large smile on his face! Eager Bookstore Barnes and Noble customers were lined up around the block to have a moment to speak with Billy B. and get his autograph. He reflected on the days and months and years that he had devoted to writing each day. Writing had become an integral part of his life. For years before he had published a word when people asked him what he did…he would always answer…Writer.

‘Neva J. you have a wonderful Antique Store…where did you come up with the name of ‘Groundhog Day Antiques,’ asked the news anchor? ‘Well Billy B. and Chet and I had a discussion many years ago on a Monday in February…that truly our lives were but one day at a time and if we wanted to achieve something special…we had to begin to implement it beginning that day and each day thereafter,’ Neva J. said. ‘So, I was inspired by the Bill Murray Movie Groundhog Day’ and the sundry adjustments that his character made as he lived the same day over and over and over again,’ Neva J. continued. ‘Repetition…

is the best teacher and I continued to repeat the same principles for success in the Antique business each day for…now…many years…but the years were never in my mind…it was one day at a time,’ Neva J. said with a tear in her eye and a happy face.

Chet’s Travel Agency had a nice ring to it. He had so much business that he had to open offices thru out Southern Illinois. ‘And to think that it all started that day in February that was unseasonably warm and my conversation with Neva J. and Billy B. to treat each day as your life and to not put off anything that you want to achieve or do,’ laughed Chet.

I am watching a truly frightening documentary called, Stolen Youth, Inside the Cult At Sarah Lawrence. It follows with actual audio and video tape of Larry Ray and his mind control over a group of students. Ray had been a friend of former New York Police Commissioner Bernard Kerik and convinced several Sarah Lawrence students to move in with him and his daughter who attended the College. He portrayed himself as an adult with a lot that he could teach the young residents of the apartment. As his mental and physical abuse heightened his victims responded a bit like a person who has been placed in boiling water when it is first cold…before the heat is applied. By conditioning, they failed to notice when they began to boil. Mr. Ray subjected them to hours of interrogation coupled with lack of sleep and food or as one student said, We ate when Larry did and we slept when he told us that we could. Soon they were incapable of accepting anything as fact unless Larry told them that it was.

Ray convinced his cult members to apologize profusely to him for imagined wrongs that they had not done. He extorted money from them that they did not owe and they begged for loans from family and friends. They stopped socializing with anyone who was not a part of their group.

This type of obeisance may seem extremely rare…but it is much more prevalent than you would think. I am reminded of the Seinfeld episode where George Costanza was wanting to be hired for an executive position and had to purchase a new suit for the interview. George hid the 40-short suit that he wanted from another customer who also required a 40-short garment. When he pulled out the suit on sale day and his rival saw what he had done…the rival said that he was going to get back at George for hiding the suit that he desired. Now George had been told by the other executives that the boss appreciated that they all went along with the team and that they were team players. So…the interview was finished and they were having a shared piece of cake to commemorate George’s hiring by the boss. Suddenly George sees that his suit rival is the chef…and he knows that he must not take a bite of the celebratory cake as the chef glares at him with an evil grin… The cake had been poisoned and all got violently ill except George…and he did not get the job.

Mind control in many social arenas of life is prevalent. Some of the most charismatic and convincing people can have ulterior motives. Thousand stormed our capital in an attempted insurrection a little over two years ago. Many of the combatants believed that they were doing God’s work…

The Sun is shining and the birds are singing. I am becoming climatized to the cold weather…now that it is time for a warm-up. The Woods was active with people who were wishing for spring. The panoply of nature is preparing for its metamorphosis. I was pondering a bit regarding how limited our perceptions of reality are. Indeed we see the world through our own multi-colored glasses. It seems that the rich have difficulty seeing the poor and the poor can not fathom the other world of the rich. Some who enjoy leadership imagine Heaven as a continuation of their lofty earthly position and power. While others long for a little cottage on the beach near the ocean. My blogger friend commented regarding my blog of yesterday that the hidden world I mentioned was the most exciting of my narrative. Certainly, we look for a reality beyond what some have referred to as this ‘Veil Of Tears.’ I heard a psychiatrist say one time that he had a patient who spoke at length about her visits to Paris and how much she enjoyed the city. He went on to say that he did not know if indeed she was traveling to Paris or not…and that it was impossible to know. Perhaps what we see with our eyes and hear with our ears and understand with our limited senses is but a shadow of our reality?

Once you become old as I have achieved…you realize that life is short. A book that I am reading speaks of how you empathize somewhat with those in old photos who have all died…but if you go back to another generation it is difficult to make the same connection. Our brains are limited by our surroundings and our life experience. I have discovered from the loss of loved ones and friends that keeping them alive in my memory requires a concerted effort. I wonder if those who believe that the demonstration of God’s love is golden and monetary and mansions on a hill…is a mental exercise enabling the belief that we are all alive in the mind of God?

Young people speak of their aspirations and old people speak of their memories. But it all happens in a nanosecond…

Our eternal optimism is fueled by a reality that we do not see. The Bible says that ‘Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the hearts of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.’

Too often we label those who have enhanced perception beyond the curtain of this life as different or perhaps ill…perhaps they are here as a witness to the complexities of God’s Creation…

You could almost call this time of year…the in-between. Meteorological winter is slowing down in our neck of the woods and spring has yet to arrive. The joy of Christmas is well passed and the summer plans are still in the planning stages. Snow and ice and plenteous pot-holes have been experienced. Many of the New Year Resolutions that were not easily accommodated by our habits and lifestyle have been forgotten. Yet happiness surrounds us and is there for the taking. A gathering of crows was engaged in crow-talk as I traversed the woods this morning. When they saw me coming they stepped up their dialogue. I was attempting to get close enough to get a photo of them…but they thought better of it.

Our church is soon to observe Lent…where we ponder our sins and shortcomings. A good cold weather activity. I had a mission to speak with the manager of Aldis this morning as it appeared that I had been charged twice for one grocery order. The two charges were different by one dime. I will get to the bottom of this travesty…I thought. The manager was very kind and went to his office for a detailed study of my concern. He returned to tell me that the day before yesterday I had made a purchase and that yesterday I made another…and that they differed by 10 cents. I thought that I could double down on my error and tell him that Aldis could be better… as a customer told me at SIUC many years ago. Instead, I thanked him with a humble grin and quickly withdrew from the field of battle.

I am reading the second of the two latest Cormac McCarthy books, Stella Maris, where the main character tells her psychiatrist that many people fail to accept that there is an unseen world. Now, this idea may seem simplistic to you but the reporters of bereaved loved ones who swear that they have seen and even spoken with their departed family and friends are difficult to ignore. Also, if you ascribe to a certainty in Heaven and you pray that there is no Hell…you believe in another unseen world.

MJ and I are looking forward to enjoying dinner with our dear friends Ryan and Elizabeth this afternoon. They are a bit like Dorian Gray as they do not age…while I continue to grow elderly. When I was preparing to retire from Southern Illinois University I was determined to leave quietly…just like I had entered the School over 32 years prior. My Director Phil Gatton kept asking me to agree to a retirement reception and I insisted that I preferred not to…until he explained that he did not know what he was going to tell Elizabeth who was asking him daily regarding it. I agreed and I am glad that I did.

Our New Year will be a teenager before we know it. It has been said that ‘Time waits for no man’ and I have found this to be true. The older I become I have found that life’s happiness is not contained in things. As a younger man, I strove to have nice things for MJ and Aaron, and Jonathon. I would be disingenuous if I did not admit that I strove to keep up with the Joneses…at least a bit. I felt keenly my lack against my peer’s fine automobiles and homes and financial success. Having grown up somewhat poor I wanted to shake the feeling of want that was my shadow as a child. By the time of my retirement over 12 years ago…I had learned that all that glitters is not gold and the chasing of more money is a hollow enterprise.

The Woods has been my pleasure for the past months. All of 2022 I engaged in a photo project of capturing images across Southern Illinois…with Eldorado as my primary focus…and seeking the knowledge of nature in Giant City State Park which is just down the road from my house.

Contentment is contained in the ordinary. The popular singer James Taylor told us that ‘the secret of life was enjoying the passing of time…and any fool can do it…there ain’t nothing to it.’ As I walk through the dead leaves and photograph their majestic colors I see the handiwork of God. I had a friend and colleague years ago who told me that instead of going to church on Sunday he went to the woods…I can see why at times. We place too many demands on each other. We expect standards of others that we do not keep ourselves. It has been assumed for several years that everyone must have a University education. Not all are a good fit for academic pursuits. Our measure of success is how much wealth we have acquired. Many churches preach that if you give…until it hurts…to the church…you will receive abundant monetary wealth. This vicious cycle is exemplified in poor hard working congregants giving and robbing from their family’s welfare…only to be told that the reason that they have not become rich is that they have not given enough…

Pleasing the narrow constraints of another human is not only confining but often impossible. Dictatorial humans are mercurial. Just about the time that you think that you have made the grade and fulfilled the requirements…the goalposts are moved and the game begins anew!

Please yourself first…and others will love you for your authenticity. We all are looking for the unique and the different and the person who truly does their own thing. That is why Waldo can be found in the crowd…

I began at Southern Illinois University @ Carbondale on October 10, 1978. I had been reared with almost exclusively white people. The little non-denominational church that I attended in Elkville, Illinois had one African American member. I thought that African Americans were fascinating but I did not know any. My first foreman was Jim and he was African American. On one occasion when a white supervisor was giving me some unnecessary difficulty…Jim told him that,’ Brooks was his son…he just won’t call him Daddy.’ I loved Jim. He gave me my start at Building Services and I will never forget him!

I could not believe the diverse family that I had become a part of. The first custodial crew that I was assigned to had students from Iran and Turkey and Malaysia and Africa. I was immersed in the peoples of the world… When I became a crew supervisor, Christian from Gahna told me that all of the international students wanted to work with me because I had no prejudice. I have never received a greater commendation! I learned that people who are ethnically different than me or who have a different faith or who have no faith…are wonderful people. The world became a new home for me!

My dear friend, Rita, told me that when she thinks of me she thinks of a person who wanted to extend employment opportunities to all people…and with an emphasis on the disabled. The victories that we experienced in hiring the disabled and challenged were the sweetest victories that I experienced during my career. I had a passion to hire those who are unseen and unheard and marginalized and ignored. What I did was not special and certainly was not worthy of an award or recognition…it was simply my heart and soul…and could not imagine being a manager/administrator and not attempting to extend opportunities to those who have limited employment options.

Perhaps it was something in the water…but I lay the passion at the feet of my dear mother who loved those who seemed to be unloved. ‘One Eye’ was mom’s good friend. She actually had one eye and was nicknamed according to her disability. Mom loved her and took her to the market to pay her bills and had her to dinner at our home. Many made fun of ‘One Eye’ but not mom. She was mom’s equal and peer and dear friend.

Rosie lived alone and talked to herself a little. She had been married in earlier years and lost her husband to death. She was a lover of the dress called the Moo Moo. Rosie loved JFK and she had photos of him throughout her little home. When people saw Rosie walking down the street…they crossed to the other side. Not Mom! Mom loved Rosie and laughed with her and went places with her and let her know that she was important to her.

Jewel, who is the first foreman that I hired when I became Superintendent of Building Servies, told me on more than one occasion that she thought that I must be from Mars…as I had no prejudice… I love Jewel…she is one of the wisest people that I have ever known. Am I deserving of the kind compliments…of course not…but they have stayed with me since they were said to me.
African American people are precious and I am honored each time they trust me.

Disabled people are much more intelligent than me. They have an insight that I do not possess. They know when you are artificial and they know when you are real. Being friends with a diverse community at SIUC was the high point of my career.

Most of us came into the world with a slap on our backside and a lusty cry. We had been warm and safe and listening to our mother’s heartbeat music. When mom laughed we smiled knowing that all was right with our world. Then the bright lights of our new life showed on our faces…and we were sore and afraid…until we saw the radiant smile of our moms and dads. Life became different…and exciting!

MJ and Jonathon and I greeted two young women at Church last Sunday. Their faces lit up with the joy of being welcomed! When other humans care about us…we shine. Suddenly we see ourselves through their dancing eyes.

We have several chapters in our time on earth. Some are rosy and full of laughter and love…while others are looking through a glass darkly. Often we are fully prepared to be the master of our fate…while at other times we are at the bottom of the Ship Of Life wrenching from seasickness. The journey is both magnificent and miserable…often at the same time.

Shakespeare told us that all life is a stage and we are but players on it. Oh, but what a glorious play it is!
Green shoots are poking their new heads up between the brown leaves of last fall. They say, ‘ I am here to experience this miracle called life!

Peace is a bit elusive until we accept the journey on its’ terms rather than our own. The Sun is just behind the clouds. The Bible tells us, ‘Weeping may endure for a night…but joy cometh in the morning.’

It is reported that the animals in Turkey and Syria acted erratically just before the devastating earthquake struck a few hours ago. Birds flew in a manic manner and dogs howled prior to the shaking. The animal family realized what we humans did not sense.

Often we are obsessed with who is winning and who is losing…when we are all winners to be a part of God’s halcyon creation…

A few days ago we had an ice storm. It was below-freezing for several days. Old people, like me, are afraid to get out…no more broken ribs. Now it is 56 degrees and all is right with the world. At Giant City State Park the kids were out with their dog who was dutifully carrying a frisbee. Spring is on its way. The ice was melting into the creek and the water was singing. The Giant City Lodge had been closed since the middle of December…and now is open again. ‘Weeping may endure for a night but joy cometh in the morning.’

‘When can we return to Pounds Hollow for a swim,’ Billy B. asked? ‘Well it is only February 5th,’ said Chet. ‘Yes, but have you ever heard of the Polar Bear Plunge,’ Billy B. responded. ‘This is the ideal day for a PB Plunge,’ said Jane with a wink. ‘It is 56 degrees and we can take our Salamander Heater to warm ourselves for when we get out of the water,’ Neva J. offered with a glass of Merlot in her hand and a laugh in her heart. ”Will it fit in the trunk of the 57′ Chevy,’ Daryl inquired? ‘ It sure will, Billy B. almost had his trousers burned off one below-zero day when we were working on the new church last winter,’ Chet said. ‘Yes that was the day that I had two pairs of trousers on and I was warming myself by the Salamander and enjoying its cozy flame…only to look down and see that the set closest to the flame had begun to melt,’ Billy B. said with some extreme feeling. ‘Did you not feel that your trousers were melting… did you not smell the smoke of burning polyester,’ Jane asked? ‘I only felt very warm and secure and happy to not be freezing in the unheated new portion of the church, Billy B. answered.

Pounds Hollow had a bit of a winter desolation about it. The Locker Rooms were closed as well as the little store. The melting snow and ice were dotting the beach. Chet and Daryl and Billy B. pulled the Salamander through the hole in the fence that they often used for such purposes. The Pond still had some spots of ice on it. ‘I am wearing my swimming trunks under my trousers,’ Chet noted. ‘Me too…and I am determined to not stand so close to the Salamander,’ Billy B. swore. ‘I have decided to just swim in my Birthday Suit,’ Daryl said with a lusty laugh! Neva J. and Jane had chosen to change their clothes behind the pavilion. ‘Fire it up,’ said Chet. ‘My God…the flame shoots out about three feet from the furnace,’ Neva J. said with alarm! ‘How do you think that my polyester trousers got melted,’ Billy B. exclaimed!

‘Oh, Jesus…Mary…and Joseph…the water is frigid,’ Billy B. shouted! ‘Dad says that if you want to acclimate yourself to cold water you must submerge yourself,’ Daryl exclaimed as he dove in and disappeared. ‘Where is Daryl,’ asked Chet? ‘He has been under the water for more than a minute,’ Jane said with fear in her voice. ‘Chet we must go under to see if we can find Daryl…what if he has passed out from the cold,’ Billy B. said. As Billy B. and Chet swam under the cold water they saw Daryl in an enclosed space sipping hot chocolate and talking with someone… they both seemed warm and dry and happy on a February afternoon. ‘Greetings Billy B. and Chet,’ said the Wiz who was Daryl’s dad. ‘How do you like the Creature From The Black Lagoons underwater home,’ Daryl asked? ‘Homer, that is the Creature’s given name, told me that I could use his home anytime that I wanted to…he currently is in Florida for the winter,’ The Wiz said. ‘Homer does not like the cold weather since he has become older,’ The Wiz explained. ‘He took his portable underwater home with him on the movie shoots and marveled that no one seemed to catch on that he had a secret abode in the Black Lagoon, The Wiz laughed! Homer has raised five kids and lives in Destin for much of the year…but he does do several Autograph Events in the warmer months,’ Daryl added. ‘We better get back to the beach and see how the girls are fairing,’ said Chet.

‘It is cold in a bathing suit and especially after jumping into the chilly water,’ Neva J. said. I am just happy that we have the Salamander with us to dry off and ward against the chill,’ Jane responded. ‘Hello ladies…you are here on a chilly day,’ said Homer. ‘Yes…are you the caretaker of Pounds Hollow,’ asked Neva J.? ‘No I have a little underwater house in the lake,’ Homer replied. ‘I think you would enjoy seeing it if you do not mind accompanying me and my friend…Nessie,’ Homer said.