April is perfect today. Blue skies and rapidly growing green grass and ducks playing in Campus Lake. Pastor Kerry spoke this morning regarding a book that he recommends in which the author points out that contrary to the common belief that humans are primarily intellectual creatures who become emotional from time to time…they are in fact emotional creatures who think from time to time. I enjoyed this statement since I have found this to be true all of my life.

Emotions are the fuel that runs the human-machine. Without our perception of beauty and love and service…we would be truly a drab lot. I can read that Christ rose from his tomb and ascended to heaven…but if I feel the words in my heart…my life is changed. I can be taught that Jesus loves the poor and the hungry and the marginalized…but again these are just words until a fellow traveler on this road of life…reaches out to me and feeds me when I am hungry…and says to me to come up to the table of prominence at the feast…where the King is sitting… and set beside them.

Change is difficult. Change is hard to understand or implement…intellectually. When the Dove of Heaven comes to sit upon our shoulder and whisper in our ear…then emotions transform our hearts…and we embrace change…

‘Jesus answered and said to him ‘What I am doing you do not understand now, but you will know after this.’ Peter said to him ‘You shall never wash my feet!’ Jesus answered him, ‘If I do not wash you, you shall have no part of Me.’ Simon Peter said to Him, ‘Lord, not my feet only, but also my hands and my head!’ John 13: 7-9. NKJV

As I sit on my Writing Porch and gaze at what appears to be my new ceiling after Judge Services cleaned it earlier this week…I am happy. Easter time has become a profoundly enjoyable time of the year for me as I grow older. I think, probably, since I have been a member of First Presbyterian Church. I want to purchase a new Bible each Eastertime…don’t ask me why…I love Bibles… I also enjoy Bunny Rabbit Figurines…especially at Easter. Easter Brunch is nice as well. Nature is resurrecting each Easter…it did not die in the fall…it went to sleep. Of course, there is another renewal of spirit in my neighbors and friends as they slowly venture out to renew their familial and friendship bonds as our Pandemic restrictions lessen. Again…as Spirit of Resurrection…

We tend to quit much too early in our heartfelt endeavors. We wonder if we are too old or if another is better equipped to address the problems that need human solutions that are around us. We hope to see a miracle…and forget that we are the miracle… I enjoy photography and recently have been toying with the filters on my camera. It amazes me that with a little touch of brightness and a dose of shadow…a photo comes to life…sometimes appearing similar to an oil painting. Would that we could see the brilliance of color and hue and mystery…that lay just beyond our cursory view.

Neutrinos are all around us. There is much more Dark Matter than Matter that we can see and measure…Quantum Physics tells us. Simply stated there are billions of times more that we do not see or understand regarding what the Matter comprises…than what we do see and measure and understand. Could some of this be our loved ones…just beyond the veil… Perhaps our Guardian Angel standing guard over us and saying for us not to worry about anything…

‘For now, we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: but now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. I Corinthians 13:12. KJV

Billy B. reflected on his life and thought of the many surreal events that had transpired in it. He recalled what the abrupt change that moving from Chicago to Eldorad had felt like and the different world that he suddenly found himself in. He remembered his Chicago friends; Steve and Susie and Danny and Pauly. Steve was a Master Puppeteer and put on elaborate performances of his many and varied Marionette Puppets. The puppets were so lifelike that Billy B. almost forgot that they were not real. In the darkness of Steve and Susies’ living room with the spotlight shining on Bozo The Clown and Punch and Judy…reality often became suspended. Susie had a crush on Billy B. and he liked it. She hugged him every time that she saw him…and he did not protest. Ivy smoked one Salem cigarette after another and never ceased talking while her husband, Bob, never said a word and smoked Pall Malls. Ivy, Steve and Susie’s mom, was Billy B.s’ moms’ best friend. Ivy often opened Billy Bs’ front door and called out, ‘June,’ and proceeded into their house for chit-chat and gossip. Then there was George and Ethyl on the other side of their house and they enjoyed barbecues with them in their backyard while his dad did the grilling and his mom and Ethyl played Badminton and George lay in the sun with his shirt off and tanned.

Eldorado was Grandma Askews’ town. She attended church at each event that the church doors were opened for… at the Gospel Assembly Church and she felt that each member of her family should do so, as well. She studied the book of Revelation and she believed that the prophesied events were imminent. She took it upon herself to teach Billy B. some of the key points of the Eschatology of the Last Days…and it made a lifelong impression on him… Billy B. and Chet and Jane and Daryl became friends in the New Town. Billy B. began school in 1962 and the Cuban Missel Crisis happened that October. With the Bomb drills in school…’Duck and Cover’…and the homemade bomb shelters…and the palpable fear that he saw in the eyes of the adults…he wondered if this might be what his Grandma was telling him about. The Bomb Drills and the ‘Duck and Cover’ method of safety were a long way from his Chicago Backyard Barbecues and Steves’ Marionette Shows.

Billy B. listened as the hissing sound of the bombs flew overhead…and he had taken a photo with his new Big Swinger Camera that he got early for his birthday in October 1962…of a cloud that looked like a Mushroom…and then all went…black…

‘Wake up Billy B.,’ Neva J. intoned. ‘I swear that I have never seen a boy that enjoyed a nap so much.’ she said. It is time for us to go to Town and Country Days…’You know how much that you and Chet have been looking forward to it.’ There was Chet at his bedroom door with a big grin on his face. Chet asked Billy B. if he was having a nightmare? Billy B. said, ‘It seemed so real.’ Chet replied, ‘That they always do…until you awaken…’

Putin says, ‘Release the bombs,’…and the poor called on God…and the rich sought to withdraw their riches…and some laughed and winked…and Billy B. woke up again to see that everything had been made new…and it was Spring…and peace had prevailed…

Many times I passed the Beulah Heights Camp Ground in Eldorado during my youth. I often wondered what it would be like to attend a Campmeeting. Campmeetings were common in my childhood days as well as Tent Revivals. Many denominations had Campgrounds to hold their Campmeetings on. So, not long after I moved away from home I took a church bus ride with many members of our congregation to Topeka, Kansas to attend a large Campmeeting that was being conducted by the church that we were affiliated with in the area.

The bus rode like a log wagon…as most former School Buses do. My friend Jim drove us as he was an experienced Semi-Truck Driver. MJ was on the Bus but we were not married at the time. I made a point to speak to her and share my witticisms on every occasion that was afforded to me. When we arrived I discovered large wooden buildings painted white with huge windows that we opened at night for our air conditioning. We, single men, slept on the second floor of this dormitory and during the night it got cold and windy. I vividly recall the shock of waking up to the chilly temperature. The food was served in long tents and it was delicious. The showers had only cold water…which made for a rapid cleansing. The Old Time Gospel was preached without fear or favor and all of us lively young men felt the tinge of conscience and the need to come to Jesus. Rev. Millard Hazelip preached on Eschatology and he had the presence and speaking ability of a Professor…of which he had been…and I ruminated as to whether or not I would experience old age…

There is something about having church outside and waking up in cold fresh air and taking cold showers…that focuses the mind and softens the heart. Beng removed from lifes’ daily distractions is a great clarifier and a settler of a worried mind. In those days there were no cell phones or Facebook or Social Media. If we needed to know something we looked it up in our Encyclopedias and/or made a trip to our local library. We thought a lot about our family…we sat with them at supper…and often at breakfast… every day. We listened to the wonderful gospel songs at the camp meeting and we knew that there was a better day and that we could be better…if we tried. I remember the old song, ‘I must tell Jesus.’ The first verse says:

‘I must tell Jesus…I must tell Jesus…I can not bear my burden alone…I must tell Jesus…I must tell Jesus…Jesus will help me…Jesus alone.’

Campground let you know that there was a better world to be had…both here and in the afterlife. I discovered that I could take a few days off of work and the cares of life…just to focus on faith…and hope…and charity…

Having lived in Southern Illinois for the majority of my life I can attest to its’ unrivaled natural beauty. In fact from the Shawnee National Forest to the Garden Of The Gods…to Pounds Hollow and Rend Lake…it is a Garden of Eden…in many ways. People come to Little Egypt for a variety of reasons and choose to never leave again…although they have moved from exciting cities and bustling communities.

Eldorado has been a focus of much of my attention for the past few days. With my two visits in two weeks…I tried to make up for not having been there for over 20 years. Eldorado…like most of the little towns and villages in our region is economically deprived…and it shows. When I was growing up in Eldorado during the 60s it was a booming community compared to its’ current condition. Poverty is a hard taskmaster.

The Orpheum Theatre was an Oasis for me during my childhood years in Eldorado. No matter what problems that I had encountered…the movies provided an escape and a respite and a rejuvenation for me. I have discovered two Oasis in my town of Carbondale. These areas contain plentiful cool and clear water and abundant sunshine and peace and reflection…and the gift of time to think… existed for me even before our move to Carbondale over 21 years ago.

Southern Illinois @ Carbondale has been an Oasis for me for 44 years. The combination of my over a 32-year career and the last 11 + years of retirement…SIUC has been a constant in my life. I have heard of many who upon retirement say that they will never darken the door of the University again. This is exactly the opposite of my experience. As I walk our Campus daily I never cease to appreciate its’ beauty and the benefits that it provides to all those who avail themselves of the bounty. When I am on Campus…I feel at home.

First Presbyterian Church of Carbondale is another Oasis for me. For 24 years I have felt the love and compassion of my fellow congregants and found a church where I thoroughly appreciate its’ Polity. First Presbyterian Church not only accepts but rejoices in the diversity of Gods’ Human Creation. It is a refuge for those who feel unwanted and afraid and unloved and underappreciated. When I hear and witness that church denominations are diminishing…I wonder if hurting and lonely people realize what they are missing in not attending church. My friend Lisa mentioned recently that many in the queer community often say, ‘There is no hate like the love of Christians.’ Perhaps they have not met a group of loving and caring Christians who endeavor to live Christs’ Teachings rather than giving their allegiance to a cult or a sect that follows the ‘Mean Fever Dream’ of people who base their faith on hating those who do not look or act like them…

I pass First Presbyterian Church…my church… every day…and feel better for just seeing it…because I know what is on the inside…

It is another chilly day in our neck of the woods. Recently our church received a cleaning by, Judge Services, and the results are amazing. I have scheduled them to do the same to our house this Thursday. I have pressure washed our homes for the past over 30 years and have decided to try the professionals…as my results are not optimal.

The last couple of weeks has included two trips to the town where I did a lot of growing up…Eldorado. Eldorado is a town of ‘Heights’ and ‘Additions’ and I explored all of them on a regular basis. I thoroughly enjoyed visiting my friend, Jackie Brooks, at his home in Parrish Addition. I vividly recall the first day of 1st Grade when Jackie walked into the classroom with his hat on and sat down at his desk. Our teacher told him, ‘Jackie…put your hat in the cloakroom and do not wear it in the house.’ I wondered why she called the School…the House. Jackie loved to imitate the Robot from a popular television show of the time…Lost In Space. He was so adept at the portrayal that he often gathered a crowd to enjoy the show. We enjoyed visiting the Orpheum Theatre and watching monster movies like Dracula and Frankenstein. The English Movie Company, Hammer Films, had especially vivid Technicolor and consequently, the blood dripping down Draculas’ lips was compelling. The movies were also known for their somewhat more revealing womens’ garments…a visual reality that was not lost on either of our young minds.

We enjoyed eating pizza at the local pizza house that served a Beer that contained no alcohol…but we felt inebriated…we thought. When we lived on West Street I attended Bible School around the corner from our house at the Chruch Of Christ. I think that this enjoyable experience is what first captivated my thoughts regarding the beauty of the Christian Life. I can remember the teacher asking me a question about Moses on the Mount and after my explanation, she told me that she had never heard a more heartfelt rendition of the story…but I still was a mischievous curb-kicker.

We had a Barber Shop on the street over from West Street…State Street is the busiest street in town. I often saved my pennies until I had a dime and then walk over to the restaurant on State and order a glass of whole milk…as it was much better than the powdered milk that we had at home. I also had my haircut on State and no matter how I pleaded my mom insisted that I receive a Crew Cut. I told her that there were many of the kids at school who had gotten away from the Crew Cut…but she could not be dissuaded…as it took longer for my hair to grow out…after the Crew Cut…

Memories tell us where we have been and where we are going. Or as a person told me many years ago…’The only difference in child psychology and adult psychology…is size.’

Billy B. and Chet were going to the Orpheum Theatre to see the Frankenstein Classic movie made in 1931 with Boris Karloff portraying the Monster. It was 1962 and almost Halloween and they were in the midst of a missile crisis in Cuba. In school, the Bomb Drills had increased and Billy B.s neighbors were waiting in line to build backyard bomb shelters.

Eldorado was a picturesque little Southern Illinois town. It had been a coal mining town, as many of the towns in Little Egypt were, during the heyday of King Coal and its’ primary use as a heating source for homes and businesses. Before the movie, Chet and Jane, and Billy B. met at Carter’s and Chossier’s Drug store on the corner to enjoy a Nickle… a frosty mug of Root Beer. The delicious Root Beer was served in icy giant mugs…of which you could lose your troubles and cares in the high foam on top. Jane said that her family was planning on sleeping in their bomb shelter until the chance of nuclear war subsided. Chet mentioned that his mom, Thelma, had been weeping this morning as she read the Book Of Revelation and its’ account of the battle of Armageddon and the prophecy that the blood would run up to the horses bridle during the last battle. Billy B. had visited his Grandma Askew Friday night and she had told him to prepare for Armageddon and the Antichrist…and the coming of the Lord…

Daryl walked in and was beckoned over to the Root Beer Table by Billy B. Billy B. purchased a Tall One for Daryl and asked him what he thought of the news of the possible imminent dropping of bombs on Eldorado… Daryl quoted the scripture that said, ‘And ye shall hear of wars and rumors of wars: see that ye be not troubled: for all these things shall come to pass, but the end is not yet.’

Billy B. was now old and he reflected on the fears of his youth…the war raged in Ukraine…a madman plotted world domination…and the deck chairs on the Titanic were rearranged…once again…

Forty-four years ago I was a rail-thin young man of twenty. I thought that I knew a lot…but I later found that I had only started to learn. MJ and I were married on March 24, 1978. She was a teacher and I was a janitor…and some said that it would never last… I have always attempted to stop and smell the roses…but when I reflect on the past 44 years I wish that I had done so even more. We are supremely blessed with two wonderful sons, Aaron and Jonathon, and they are the joy of our lives. I have taken to noticing the little things more and more. A duck or geese or the beauty of Campus Lake…warms my heart no matter how many times that I have seen them before. Sweet friends who wished MJ and me, their heartfelt good wishes on our 44th. A lovely dinner at the Freight House in Paducah, Kentucky. Playing cards with MJ has rapidly become one of my favorite pastimes.

When we began our partnership we lived in a house trailer that MJ owned. Soon we purchased a little four-room house in Elkville and lived there for 21 years. We just passed our 21st year of living in Carbondale…in what we call the New House…we do things by 21…it seems. We are a close family and we see our sons often. We all love the newest canine member of the family…Mylo.

Travel is a great joy to us. Throughout our lives, we have attempted to make journeys as often as possible. However, I have so many interests that I can enjoy staying local for long periods of time. Reading and writing and photography…along with an occasional visit to Electric Larrys…are adventures.

The next 44…will be exciting…

Yesterday was our return trip to Eldorado. Rather than not having been there for over twenty years…it had been less than a week since my last visit. Jonathon and MJ were with me this time. Our first stop was the Orpheum Theatre. Jonathon said that he has heard me speak of the Orpheum so often and write about it on a semi-frequent basis..that he was excited to see it. He recently discovered a set of DVDs that have many of the old horror classics on them. We are in the planning stages of him and Aaron and me watching them…as he pronounced, ‘These movies are some of the ones that you watched as a kid in the Orpheum!’ I vividly recall watching both Frankenstein and Dracula movies at the Theatre on the weekends. Many of them were the Hammer Studios Horror movies that were produced in the 1960s and others were the historic classics. I quaked in my seat and munched on my popcorn…and wondered what was around the next corner.

Grandma Askews’ house was the meeting place for our extended family. She lived in Beulah Heights in what I remembered as a large home with a giant porch with great stones supporting the infrastructure. In the days of my youth Grandmas and Aunt Guelda and Aunt, Vema would sit on the Massive Porch and watch the sunset and the electric street lights come on. Their terminology of the lighting of the lamps was…’Look…they are getting yellow!’…and this was a source of constant evening entertainment. Grandma did not own a television and came from a church that referred to them as ‘Hellavision’ which may seem odd today but was fairly common in the heyday of the Holiness Churches. Aunt Vema lived with Grandma for many years and when she moved out to marry Uncle Ed…Aunt Guelda came to live with her mom. Grandmas’ children were evenly split between two fathers…and Vema and Guelda were half-sisters. Guelda had an antique Pump Organ in her bedroom…along with a portable TV…and she played and sang… as she tickled the keyboard of the ancient instrument. My friend Debbie Richardson lived next door to Grandma and we got into many adventures. The name of the street that the old homes are on is Richardson Street in honor of Debbie’s father. Grandmas’ house was smaller than I had recalled and the porch seemed unremarkable…until I remembered the many fun and family moments that we had spent both in our Matriarchs’ Home and on…the Great Porch…

Hillcrest School was another important place in my childhood history to see. Much of the original School is gone and replaced with a newer model. I could see one section that was the original. I took MJ and Jonathon by the house that my Aunt Wanda and Uncle Bill lived in…as well as my cousins, Brenda and Billy. I remembered how close that it was to Hillcrest School, which is no longer named Hillcrest and has not been for many years, and the short walk home that I had when I stayed with Aunt Wanda and Uncle Bill for a short time.

One year I received a miniature pool table for Christmas. It became my goal to be another Minnesota Fats…who was a famous Pool Shark and actually lived in Dowell, Illinois which is just a few miles from my home. I so enjoyed playing pool on my half-pint pool table…that I gravitated to attending the local Pool Hall in Eldorado. Dennis and I would go often and I became pretty…pretty…pretty…good… I had always heard that pool halls lead to trouble…but I could not find any…as hard as I sought for it.

We have been making an annual trek to Eldorado for most of the last twenty years. Our Accountant is Edmistier Accounting…but it is on highway #45 and removed from the Town Square. Our new accountant is Tabitha…and I could see the significance of the lovely name…when magic followed us through the Town…

Spring is here and all the joys that accompany it. I walked around Small Group Housing on Campus and once again admired the rustic beauty of the Pond in that area. For several years when I lived in Eldorado…Spring meant the countdown to the weather becoming warm enough to go swimming in Pounds Hollow Creek. Pounds Hollow, which is part of the Shawnee National Forest, was about eighteen miles from Eldorado. Mom loved to swim as much as I did and thus a trip to Pounds Hollow as a semi-weekly adventure throughout the summer…and often three times per week.

Jackie Brooks, my buddy, my cousin Brenda and mom, and I would pile into her 1957 Belair Chevy Convertible and ride with ‘Devil May Care’ attitude to our summer destination. These trips were as fun for me as a trip to Europe…and I could go more often. There was no talk of applying sunblock to your exposed skin in those days, but rather tanning lotion to enable you to lay in the direct sunlight and cook your skin until it was a golden brown. We had no air conditioner in our home…and not many of my neighbors did either. Once it became hot you perspired or sweat…all of the day and throughout the night. Pounds Hollow was a pleasant remedy for heat discomfort. Jackie and I would swim beyond the safety rope of demarcation to the deepwater…where the Water Moccasins dwelt. No one really knew how deep the ‘deep water’ was…but we knew that if you become unable to swim or to float…you might just sink forever. We swam so far out in the water that mom and Brenda were indistinguishable from the other swimmers. We were unafraid as we knew that we were invincible. At times we brought along hamburgers to cook on the grills provided and hot dogs as well…although Jackie preferred his straight out of the package. But, at other times we opted for a stop at the Moo And Cackle fast food restaurant in Harrisburg, Illinois. Harrisburg was just seven miles from Eldorado…and we would eat the five for a dollar burgers as we rode with the top down on moms’ Chevy Ragtop.

Moo and Cackel were a 5 Star Restaurant…in my young mind. Mom and I had little money…but there was always a dollar for their delicious burgers. At times we would drive to Harrisburgh and purchase a dollar’s worth and take them home for our supper.

Lisa, my friend, had airconditioning in her home that was next to ours. In the heat of this summer, she invited me over for lunch and to play with her Barbie and Ken collection. I portrayed Ken… When she opened her front door to invite me in…I felt like that I was entering a refrigerator. I meditated on the chilling experience as I lay in my bed that night covered in perspiration and with my window open about 3 inches to facilitate the kitchen window fan, which was on the exhaust setting, pulling the cool night air into my cracked window. This represented our negotiating with the humid Southern Illinois heat.

Ben Franklin Dime Store advertised on their glass entry door that patrons should come in and shop in Air Conditioned Comfort as a round-faced Cloud Blew Cold Air from his mouth… Our car did not have airconditioning and this was a feature that many automobiles did not have from the factory. We had two windows in the front of our car on both the passenger and driver’s sides. One was the roll-down window and the other window was the Vent Window that was positioned in front of the larger one. The Vent Window had a latch that once unfastened the triangular small Vent Window could be pushed out a little…causing the passing air to blow on the driver or passenger much like a small fan…and if the car moved faster…the wind from the Vent Window moved faster as well.