We All Need Love
I was involved in a performance review, recently, where the person being evaluated commented, that it was so nice to hear that she was appreciated. Indeed, I have never experienced a person that I, sincerely, complimented, become angry or not joyfully receive recognition of their efforts.
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So often we feel that we are living in a vacuum. We are working diligently and foregoing vacation time and working when we are ill…or donating time to the job…and no one seems to notice or care.
Often we sit on the sidelines while others are applauded, perhaps rightfully so, and our worry and labor and striving…appears to not create a ripple in the placid sea?
A plant will die from lack of attention. If we cease to water it and neglect it…and trust that it will be all right, we may find that it has withered and passed away. The same can be said of we humans. When no one seems to care about us or what we are doing…or what we are thinking…our world may take on a distorted view.
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I wonder if the many individuals who have resorted to gun violence, in our nation, could have been dissuaded and set upon another path…if they were not been bullied or marginalized or had they not become members of a hidden society!
I watched the movie, ‘Us,’ over the weekend. The flick illustrates a society of humans who live in unground tunnels and unused facilities. Those living underground and not having the benefit of the sun to shine on them and the opportunities of their identical counterparts in the above ground world are stilted and stymied and stunted in their growth as human beings.
I have often told Southern Illinois University @ Carbondale chancellors and presidents that they should seek input from their civil service staff as the remedies for the on-going problem of recruitment and retention of students. When a church or work-place or society pigeonholes individuals…that organization is in the midst of it’s decline.
And, so, Thanksgiving is this Thursday. We will eat hearty and rejoice in the blessings of capitalism and opportunity and being in the right place at the right time…and having the right friends and a quality education from the right schools…
Others, a lot of others, will huddle in their makeshift tent or scrounge some discarded food from a dumpster or warm their ill-clad bodies over a heating register that is outside a Macy’s Department Store window…as they look, longingly, at the Christmas Display….
5 Days Until ‘T’ Day!
I was out and about today and it dawned on me that the holiday season is upon us! I have been saying, for weeks, that Thanksgiving and Christmas are getting close…now the revelerie is here! I purchased a book, The Golden Compass, earlier this week and the Barnes and Noble Bookseller’s attendant, asked me if I was purchasing a Christmas gift. I replied, joyfully, that I was…for myself.
Winter is less than a month away. The first day of the season of snow and ice is, December 21.
The Brooks Christmas Tree goes up tomorrow. We will plug in the lights and seldom turn them off, accept when we leave the house, as we enjoy their festive and warm glow.
MJ and I enjoyed a lovely dinner with several members of our church, last evening. I marvel at how much more I appreciate my fellow congregants, when I break bread with them!
A group of us were discussing what draws people to church. Our pastor, wisely observed, that since Watergate, there has been a significant distrust in institutions. I pondered what he had said, and agreed. I know what brought MJ and our family to First Presbyterian Church in Carbondale, and that was because her co-workers invited us to a Sunday morning service. When we arrived we discovered a friendly and welcoming group of people. Many people greeted us and the minister, at that time, seemed very happy to see us. Aaron was 17 and Jonathon was 14. MJ and I were younger as well. Later that Sunday afternoon, two, sweet, people, Evelyn and Harold Engilking, drove to our little village of Elkville, Illinois…to bring us homemade cookies and tell us how happy that they were that we had visited their church. I was both touched and impressed!
We attended First Presbyterian for nearly a year prior to joining it. We are noted for thinking about decisions for a long time. Yet, we joined because we loved the worship service and the preaching…and the, non-judgmental, family atmosphere that we felt each Sunday.
We were amazed at the missionary outreach that the little Presbyterian Church was engaged in. Everyone seemed to be doing something to demonstrate their faith by action!
President Kennedy was assassinated 56 years ago today. I was in the first grade at Hillcrest School in Eldorado, Illinois. We had recently moved from Chicago. In those days each of the classrooms had a large intercom speaker hung on he wall. Suddenly, our principal announced, over the intercom that our President had bad been shot in Dallas, Texas…and that school would be dismissed. I walked home to find my mother watching the news coverage of the assassination on television and she was weeping! When I asked her why she was sad…she said the President Kennedy was dead! I thought that he must have been part of our family?
President Kennedy said:
‘Our most basic common link is that we all inhabit this planet. We all breathe the same air. We all cherish our children’s future. And we are all mortal.
‘There Is A Crack In Everything…That Is How The Light Gets In’
‘Ring the bells (ring the bells) that still can ring’
‘Forget your perfect offering’
‘There is a crack in everything (there is a crack in everything)’
‘That’s how the light gets in…’
Leonard Cohen – The Anthem
I watched a tribute to Leonard Cohen, the other night, where several Cohen songs were sung by the Wainwrights and others. I was particularly moved by the lyrics above.
Indeed, in our world, we are obsessed with what our neighbor or colleague or friend or family has done wrong. In our righteous indignation we are supremely self-satisfied that if others would simply see life and politics and religion as we do…all would be well.
My family and I visited Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, in the 1990s and we saw the Liberty Bell. It has a, famous, crack!
I reflect on the indisputable fact that all of us are members of the same human family. Why are we so judgmental of our brothers and our sisters and our mothers and our fathers?
Thanksgiving is a week from today, in the United States. Many of us will enjoy a wonderful feast! The feast, probably, will contain the traditional turkey and dressing…and cranberry sauce. There will be the televised Macy’s Day Parade, with Santa Claus concluding the event. Many will relish football games and, turkey, naps. While others will plan their black-Friday shopping extravaganzas! I wonder if we could first love and accept the family that will sit down with us around the holiday table….And then love and respect those who are different from us or who have an alternate lifestyle from ours?
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Will we do more than think, briefly, about the homeless? Will we pass the Salvation Army Kettles…and throw in some loose change and have our conscience mollified…and know that we have done God’s work?
Our church has a, new, mission to provide quarters and soap for anyone in need at our local laundromat. Jane, told our board that there had been an overwhelming response to our outreach. She went on to describe a, homeless, young man who had one change of clothes and subsequently stripped down to his shorts and washed his clothes and his sleeping bag. Tears welled up in my eyes! There is a vast amount of humanity that live in another world of poverty and want and degradation and they are seeking another, cracked human vessel…that has experienced the light coming in!
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Integrity…Or…Be Willing To Walk Away!
George Schultz was the Secretary of State in the Regan administration. During those years, in the 1980s, I had just become the assistant superintendent of Building Services at Southern Illinois University @ Carbondale. This was my first exposure to management and I was 29 years old. I watched Secretary Schultz, in a television interview, state that he would never accept a job that he was not willing to walk away from, if he were asked to compromise his integrity.
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Secretary Schultz’s words were a lodestone for me and a compass. During my 25 years in management/administration…I encountered numerous occasions that I had to choose my sense of right and wrong rather than the expediency of what the boss wanted me to do.
I watched as others chose to compromise their values or to ignore their conscience…many times due to being afraid of loosing their employment. There is, indeed a dynamic of doing what the boss wants done…often when it is ethical…and sliding into continuing to do what the boss wants done….When it is not ethical.
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The most egregious violation of integrity or an ethical compass is the abuse of people. This comes in many forms which includes; listening to staff’s concerns but not addressing them, assuring staff that you will assist them and subsequently failing to do so, toying with people or moving them about…as if on a chessboard…with no clear managerial need.
Dishonesty or lying to members of your staff are some of the most devastating of lapses in doing what is right. I have walked out of numerous management meetings where others disparaged and demeaned those that they perceived were beneath us!
For years I worked for a leader who felt that the best way to demonstrate that our organization needed more help…was to stage a slow-down of the housekeeping that we produced. I refused to do so! It was my belief then…and to this day that it was our job to clean the campus as well as we possibly could.
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Former chancellor Argersinger was terminated in less than a year on the job. Jo Ann was not only a breath of fresh air but an inspiration to the university community. I stood up for her, as did many of my colleagues, but it was scary! I not only had my job threatened but the jobs of my colleagues in Building Services!
It occurs to me that it sounds like that I am bragging on myself…but on the contray…I often felt like the ‘skunk at the garden party!’ I wondered if I was not only a bit to altruistic…or a simple minded oaf…or lacking in understanding on how to get ahead!
Mind you, I was not the only one, but rather I worked with hundreds of stelar colleagues that were examples to me in the art of, ‘To thine own self be true!’
So, you may find yourself in a position that, to your dismay, you are misplaced in! Perhaps your best efforts are misunderstood and met with retaliation or disdain. I have lived my 62 years being a believer that if your efforts are not appreciated…find somewhere that they will be.
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Appreciation Is The Oil That Makes The Institution Operate
I have heard it said, for the majority of my life, ‘It is not what you know…but who you know!’
This may sound like an incredible statement, I have witnessed many professionals that will work for free…if they are appreciated!
There is a common malady in management and administration of others, that rears its ugly head on many occasions. The dysfunction that I am refereeing to is the lack of acknowledgment or recognition of dedicated service in regard to members of the university family or the corporate staff, who have labored in the heat of the day…and sought no reward…but certainly did not seek insult.
I have heard it said, of individuals that work night and day to facilitate the success of their workplace…’well you know…they love to work and labor…unpaid…it is a labor of love for them!’
I worked with a friend and colleague, for many years, who had the most grandiose stories of his past accomplishments. They were both interesting and enlightening, and had me sitting on the edge of my seat! It appears that my friend had lived at least two…or perhaps three lifetimes…to accomplish the many, James Thurber-Type, claims!
So, the gifted speaker and spinner of yarns…is the type of person that administration looks for to elevate to positions of authority and responsibility…when another has been working in the trenches to produce an excellent product. When we look for the shiny object or promotional candidate, or when we pass-over the quiet and conscientious worker who has demonstrated, Herculean, efforts to demonstrate and produce a successful and stelar work completion and a result that is at the zenith of excellence….We scratch our heads in disbelief that morale is at its lowest point!
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I have wrestled with the subject of leadership since I was a youth. The presidents of the United States have always fascinated me. I have witnessed many variations of leaders, the most ineffective that I have seen is the, ‘Little Club of Leaders.’ This would be an exclusive club that has the motto over the door of the Clubhouse…’You Scratch My Back…And I Will Scratch Yours!’
On the contrary, people who feel, genuine, appreciation for the work that they are doing…will rise to the utmost of their capabilities! Their first concern is not how much money they can make…but how much of a difference that they can accomplish! Contrary to what CEO’s or chancellors or presidents may believe…there is such an abundance of dedication in the ranks of staff…that they are unaware of the value that these dedicated employees bring to the operation.
I have had the supreme opportunity to feel what is like work in an organization that the majority of my colleagues were working as a team and through their breaks and their lunch and had, bought into, the vision of what it means to be a Saluki, which is Southern Illinois University @ Carbondale’s mascot. I can assure you that when our most valuable campus citizens, our precious students, felt that camaraderie and dedication to something larger than all of us…they responded with a happiness and joy at being a member of such a, functional and loving, family atmosphere!
Aaron The Great’s, Birthday!
Another year rolled around for the old man last month…and now it has caught up with the first-born! Today is Aaron’s birthday! I remember how excited and proud and full of awe that MJ and I were when Aaron came into the world. A few months prior to his birth MJ and I were stranding at the front door of our little, four room house, in Elkville, Illinois….and she asked me what I thought a good name for our, soon to arrive, baby would be? I thought but for a moment…then went quick to my work, with apologies to W. Clement Moore, and proclaimed that if a boy, Aaron, and iif a girl, Abigail! You see his birth 38 years ago was before the technology of knowing what sex your baby was prior to birth…I think…nevertheless we chose not to know….but to be surprised!
Aaron came into the world with a lusty cry! I was in the delivery room! Dr. Bennett, who I have attended church with the past 21 years, was the doctor who delivered him.
I was just telling Aaron’s baby brother, Jonathon, that the first word that Aaron said was, Dida, whereupon after each utterance of the derivative of Dad…he raised his hand and, lightly slapped his bottom lip!
Aaron had a wind-up swing that he loved and MJ and I utilized it daily, and some times hourly, during his first year of life. If he was not in his swing…his mom or I were dancing with him as he lay his head on our shoulders and was lulled to sleep…until the dancing ceased!
So, now, he is a man…and has been so for many years. He is a strength to both me and his mom and is one of the most considerate people that I know!
The first comment that I heard regarding Aaron, when he entered the work-place, was that he was a hard worker! He has been a hard and dedicated worker and, for the past several years a manager of a multi-million dollar operation .
Each time I see Aaron or hear him talk…I see a lot both MJ and Me in him….and I thank
God for such a rich heritage!
Tonight we are going to enjoy dinner at a lovely restaurant in Carbondale, Keeper’s
Quarters, and tomorrow Aaron and I are going to give the new Stephen King movie…a viewing!
As I become older, as we all do, I am so grateful for Aaron and Jonathon, who are unique human beings…that were loved so much by their mom and dad!
When I was the, only, freshman in a class of junior and senior speech class…I was welcomed by the senior girls! I enjoyed speech…very much! A lovely brunette senior girl who’s last name was Uzzle, said of me that, ‘still waters run deep!’ I can make the same proclamation regarding Aaron!
A Great Choir!
I have been a member of First Presbyterian Church for the past 21 years. One of the first things that I noticed was the tremendous choir, that sang each Sunday morning. Not only was the singing melodious but the singers were made up of both young and old participants.
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I remember enjoying seeing Dr. Alan Bennett and Dr. Don Darling…lifting their voice in beautiful hymns! Dr. Bennett had been MJ’s doctor and had delivered both of our sons.
Gwen King inspired me as a young woman who simply looked beatific as she sang, and she also, often, played the flute!
Within the group was John and Dorothy Baker. I had known John’s name from my early career at Southern Illinois University @ Carbondale. John was the budget person for the campus and was highly respected. I recall his, welcoming, demeanor and his speaking with me for some time after our first service at the church.
Dorothy was my mentor, a few months later, when I joined the trustees/board of the church, and she was the chair of the body. Her kindness to me and interest in my success has stayed with me for these many years!
During the past several years we have had the blessing of welcoming students from both SIUC and John A. Logan College to our choir and have received a morale lift and the spirit of youth and vitality that is so special and necessary in any church!
Carlyn Zimmerman has been our choir director for the past 12 years. Carlyn is, simply, the consummate professional. Not only does she produce a heavenly sound from her choir’s members…but she has unparalleled people skills. People sing in our choir, often, because Carlyn is the director. Her kind and engaging personality generates an excitement about church music and singing and participation in one of the oldest of music forms…singing unto the Lord!
Kathy Manfredi’s many years of music education and her virtuoso piano playing…provides edification and encouragement and hope to our congregation…and her dedication is the finest that I have witnessed!
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I have had the opportunity to hear Kathy speak regarding the history of hymns and church music and the value and blessing that it brings to us…and I have learned more than I did during my music classes in both grade school and high school…and university.
So, our choir is a, necessary component of our worship service…and it is a missionary outreach to our University and Junior College neighbors!
Performance Reviews Can Be A Positive Experience!
Recently I was involved in some performance evaluations. The positive experiences for all who were engaged in the process caused me to reflect on the many, good, experiences that I participated in during my 32 year career at Southern Illinois University @ Carbondale.
It has been my belief and management philosophy, since my earliest days of supervisory duties, in 1979, that evaluations or performance reviews do not have to be a negative experience…but rather they should be not only a positive experience…but a learning experience for all involved.
Evaluations, in their purest form, are an instrument of discovery for both the supervisor and the person being reviewed.
Communication is a two way street. The annual meeting is a golden time to understand each other better!
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Praise in public and proclaim the strengths of members of your staff…on the mountain top! Constructively criticize in private and never disclose the suggestions for constructive change with anyone who is not directly involved and has the need to know.
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It is natural for each of us to rise to our best efforts if we receive positive input and recognition for jobs that are well done and a laser like focus on our strengths!
Needs for improvement can be and are caused by a plethora of conditions. Perhaps a person is not meeting expectations because those expectations have never been fully explained to the employee.
Often I have seen members of our staff who fail to produce quality work because they have not been trained properly or fully. A person may not have the proper tools or equipment or facilities to perform their job expectations to their fullest extent.
As a manager or administrator, you may have supervisors or managers who are under your oversight…who are not treating their staffs properly. Abusive of lackadaisical leadership produces a pandora’s box of problems with down line staff.
Many times when I witnessed a crew of full time staff who were of low morale and poor attitude and under-performance…I need look no further than their crew leader or their manager!
Also, a high performer and a person who is beloved by their colleagues and their direct reports and their leaders…still must be held responsible to a higher authority. I often used the example, at SIUC, that I was responsible to the Director of Plant and Service Operations, and the Director of PSO was responsible to the Vice Chancellor of Administration, and the Vice Chancellor was responsible to the Chancellor, and the Chancellor was responsible to the President of Southern Illinois University, and the President was responsible to the, unpaid, Board of Trustees of the University.
The best meetings that I have had the opportunity to be a part of were with my colleagues where there was a performance problem or issues that we worked on together and we, both, owned the success of the solution!
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A member of my immediate staff told MJ…many years ago…that she had been in meetings with me where she thought, after she had left the meeting…’I just got my ass chewed out…and did not realize it!’
It Was a Biscuit Adventure!
So we were in St. Louis this past Sunday and Monday. We began our Sunday morning with a Hardees breakfast biscuits, and felt strong and of good courage! Hardees is a popular fast food franchise in the United States…and they make delicious biscuits!
When we arrived at Plaza Frontenac, my favorite mall in St. Louis, MJ proceeded to shop while Jonathon and I made our way to the theatre to see, Jojo Rabbit, a new movie portraying WWII through the mind of, young Jojo, a 10 year old German boy who begins the movie fascinated with Adolf Hitler. When the movie began, I was reluctant to laugh, at first, when watching Jojo’s antics with his fantasy friend, Adolf. However, I soon realized that the movie, which is a satirical black comedy…is intended to be funny…primarily in the beginning!
Jojo discovers that his mother, played by Scarlett Johansson, was hiding a Jewish girl in their home. The dramatic arc of the movie was outstanding and it is the best flick that I have seen this year!
I could not help but notice that the weather report for St. Louis seemed to worsen by the hour. MJ had a doctor’s appointment on Monday at 1:00…and we hoped for the best weather…but feared the worst!
Plaza Frontenac has the most luxurious Christmas Trees and holiday decorations and Santa Claus…who was already sitting on his ‘listening seat!’ One of the first times that we visited the Plaza it was, again, the holiday season… and several children were sitting on the couches and chairs that are throughout the mall…and they were reading!
Monday morning began with breakfast at the hotel. I have always enjoyed biscuits and gravy. The hotel biscuits were outstanding! I went back for a second portion…as I knew that my diet did not begin…until today!
Following the bodacious biscuits, it was time to brave the gale force winds and blowing and blinding snow! I was wearing my lambswool sweater…but while getting additional petrol…I retrieved the second sweater that I had in my suitcase and quickly put it on, as well.
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And, so, with time to kill, prior to the doctor’s appointment, and, more mall business to accomplish, we drove, carefully, to the West County Mall. They have a great Barnes and Nobel bookstore and Jonathon discovered the book that Jojo Rabbit was taken from. This welcome respite was enjoyable as we sipped our Noble coffees and wondered what lay ahead for us in the autumn/winter storm.
Finally, at about 2:30 we began our journey back to Carbondale, which is over 100 miles away. To our dismay, St. Louis and interstate 64 East was well plowed and drivable, although at a much reduced speed.
But…when we turned on to route #127…it was a different world! The pavement, appeared to be unplowed…and it was treacherous! I have driven on ice and snow packed roads on several occasions in my 62 years…but it has been sometime. We saw several automobiles who had slid off the road and into fields and down embankments. For significant periods of time we drove under 30 miles per hour. The thing about driving on ice and snow is that you never know…no matter how carefully you are driving, who may not be driving safely. Also, you can encounter slick spots or black-ice that no amount of careful driving can compensate for.
Thankfully, we made it home and celebrated with Pizza Hut pizza…but it was not as good as the biscuits!
Note: Jojo Rabbit photos are courtesy of Google search.
Snowstorms and Christmas Records
A snowy adventure from, Jonathon Brooks!
It snowed today in St. Louis and Carbondale and many other places around the midwest according to the weather report on local news. This snow would not have been a big deal if I had been in the comfort of my own home and did not have anywhere I had to be today other than my house. The snow, however, did feel like a big deal because I was in St. Louis this morning and I needed to return to Carbondale today.
Do you recall how exciting snow was when you were a child? I certainly do! Snow lead to snowball fights or perhaps sledding or a day off of school or hot chocolate or something else equally wonderful and glorious. Today I did not feel like snow equalled anything glorious or wonderful. No, on this day, the snow was an obstacle from St. Louis to Carbondale.
I am exceedingly…
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The Happy Traveler 