Avoid Detours on the Road to Beauty
An important message from my son, Jonathon.
Life is a magnificently beautiful ride. I have so much to live for and to enjoy. I live for stories, my wonderful friends and family, a rich social life, a good job and so much more. The beauty of life is all around us each every new day.
But do we all see the beauty? Honestly, there are many detours in this world that can obstruct one’s eyes from seeing the beautiful stuff. The two deadliest diseases I’ve ever battled are sin and bipolar disorder. These are the worst detours I’ve experienced that stole beauty from my eyes and soul.
I was reading earlier today that it’s National Suicide Prevention Week. In the past I’ve read that thirty to forty percent of people with bipolar commit suicide. In a perfect world there would be no sin and no mental illness. Since I don’t live in a world like that I’ve…
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Do Leaders Understand…How Hard Their Staffs Work For Them?
I have been a follower…all of my life.
I have been a leader…much of my life.
Often I have observed the caviler attitude that leaders have toward their followers or their staffs.
I enjoy and am confident in the many improvements that Building Services was able to facilitate, during my tenure as a manager for twenty-five years, and I know that nothing would have been gained without the yeoman like work of my colleagues in the department.
I have know many people…and I know people…that are dedicated to the betterment of Southern Illinois University…on a 24/7 basis.
Do you realize how extraordinary this is…in this world that is often marked by cynicism and narcissism?
Prior to my retirement, I had dedicated staff that would work around the clock, if I called on them to ensure that our department was able to perform its mission in an excellent manner.
This is an awesome and weighty responsibility!
I have said for forty years…that SIUC has the most dedicated staff in the state and, most likely, the nation!
When I sat in meetings and when I received compliments regarding our service to the University…I always said that it was my unparalleled colleagues that enabled our department to reach the heights of proficiency that we were able to obtain.
When I heard supervisors or administrators or union leaders…disparage or cast aspersion on the staff of our department…I rebuked them…and told them that the dedication of our staff was the only reason that we still had a job and that we were vital to the recruitment and retention of our students….because of our totally committed colleagues!
I wonder do administrators and managers and supervisors and chancellors and presidents…understand the…total immersion and dedication and life sacrifice…that the civil service staff have for the success of our precious students and our University?
It is so easy…to say…what a good boy or good girl am I…but you must not forget the countless dedicated and striving colleagues that are working around the clock…to ensure the success of the University…and your success!
Mind the Gap!
On my first trip to London I was intrigued with the signage and recoded warnings, on the underground rail, commonly referred to as the ‘Tube’, to ‘mind the gap.’
There really is a significant gap between the train and the loading platform, a foot or more, and to slip into the gap…could be very troublesome and perhaps deadly.
Having not grown up with subways or ‘tubes’ I find them a little disconcerting.
When we traveled, throughout the United Kingdom and France I regularly felt ill at ease in the underground waiting areas.
The idea of standing directly next to the wide chasm that is the tracks for the locomotive and my fear that some, poor soul, might topple over…was real.
Also, I found the popular means of conveyance a little spooky…late at night…when there were few people waiting for their ride…and they were staring at my party of holiday revelers.
I remember, when we were riding with our friends, Margo and Jeff, in Paris, and a gentleman, who had a violin on his back, became angry when he thought one of us had pushed him.
I wondered if I was going to have to fight to defend my friends honor?
Life is somewhat like the ‘Tube’!
First, there is a labyrinth of confusing directions, posted, as to what train will take you to the stop that you desire…and you need an interpreter to decipher them for you.
Second, there is a wide and dangerous chasm that you must stand next to and remain aware of what danger that the next step could bring to you and your life and limb.
Third, once your train has arrived…you must ‘mind the gap’ or you still could be injured…badly.
Fourth, you must be in constant vigilance as to who your fellow riders are…while at the same time…being open and accepting to all people.
Fifth, you must do your best to not disturb anyone else’s violin!
‘Small, crafty, cowering, timorous little beast,
Oh, what a panic is in your breast!
You need not start away so hasty
With your hurrying scamper
I would be loath to run and chase you,
With murdering plough-staff.
I’m truly sorry man’s dominion
Has broken Nature’s social union,
And justifies that ill opinion
Which makes you startle
At me, your poor, earth born companion
And fellow mortal!
I doubt not, sometimes, but you may steal;
What then? Poor little beast, you must live!
An odd ear in twenty-four sheaves
Is a small request;
I will get a blessing with what is left,
And never miss it.
Your small house, too, in ruin!
Its feeble walls the winds are scattering!
And nothing now, to build a new one,
Of course grass green!
And bleak December’s winds coming,
Both bitter and piercing!
You saw the fields laid bare and wasted,
And weary winter coming fast,
And cozy here, beneath the blast,
You thought to dwell,
Till crash! The cruel plough passed
Out through your cell.
That small bit of heap of leaves and stubble,
Has cost you many a wary nibble!
Now you are turned out, for all your trouble,
Without house or holding,
To endure the winter’s sleety dribble,
And hoar-frost cold.
But little Mouse, you are not alone,
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best laid schemes of mice and men
Go often askew,
And leave us nothing but grief and pain,
For promised joy!
Still you are blessed, compared with me!
The present only touches you:
But oh! I backward cast my eye.
On prospects dreary!
And forward, though I cannot see,
I guess and fear!’
To a Mouse by Robert Burns
Mary Jane and I met a friend at the grocery store, yesterday, and we commiserated on the vagaries of life.
Our friend commented that Life was interesting.
I said that you never know what is coming next…as Forest Gump said…’Life is like a box of chocolates…you never know what your are going to get.’
And, so, boredom is not the problem…rather the challenge is to be prepared to address the curve balls that life throws at you…and believe that it is part of Gods master plan.
There is a saying that is often quoted regarding the uncertainty of life, ‘man makes plans…and God laughs’.
I have often found the idea the God is laughing at my struggle in the darkness of life and its mission and my purpose in it…to be a little insulting.
I prefer to think that each of us have a guardian angel and that our angel is with us, daily, and is keeping us…from the gap.
Remembering Friends
I posted, on Facebook, a couple of photos of Plant and Service Operations…where I spent 32 year and 2 months and 3 weeks…or my total career at Southern Illinois University.
Not that I was counting.
I was overwhelmed with the people that liked the posting and a couple who commented. My friend, Michelle, who is the SIU Alumni Association Executive Director, wrote a comment that, ‘It was a pleasure to know and have worked with you’, and it just made my day!
I was honored that Michelle remembered me and pleased that she had a favorable impression of me…as I had of her.
I was, highly impressed with her ability and I hoped that she would advance in the University System…and I am so pleased that she has.
How nice of her to take the time to say a kind word to an old and retired acquaintance and to lift my spirits and cause me to reflect on some lovely conversations that we had during the days that Building Services assumed the custodial duties of the, sports venue for SIUC, the Arena.
And, then, my old boss, Brent, and my friend of many years wrote a, very, kind comment to me, ‘My only regret is that we did’t meet until 15 years into our 32 year tenure. You were a great example to so many employee! It was a pleasure and an honor to work with you!’
Now, Brent, was one of the nicest people that I ever reported to. I regularly met with him once or more times per day…and he never seemed to not have time for me. He was so gracious, as a member of his staff, that I felt like he was my colleague.
Brent had some of the best people skills that I had ever witnessed…and I am honored to call him my friend.
I noticed…with some amusement…that once I announced that I was retiring at the conclusion of 2010…and my replacement was named two months prior to my final day…that many seemed to not be so interested in interacting with me…or to seek my opinion.
I suspected that this would be the case…but it was a little disappointing.
However, I could see, in the eyes, of those who came to my retirement reception and the weeks prior to it….that they were going to miss me…and I knew that I would miss them…desperately.
I was so honored when my friend, Winton, wanted to be my Facebook friend. He and I continue to communicate…through that venue…and I value his opinion, very much.
My friend, Steven, recently became my Facebook friend…and I was honored.
And, then, of course, there is Jamie and Chris and Tish…and I think of them regularly.
I hear from Bill V….and I am always delighted!
My friends, Ryan and Elizabeth, stay in touch with me on a regular basis…and it is an elixir to my retirement years.
And there is dear Cyndy, who has so much ability, and at times, is under-appreciated, and she has such a beautiful and open heart!
During my years of service to SIUC…I was so involved with the needs of my staff…that when I retired…I felt that I had let them down.
I remember, Casey, and how I worried about her success…and the evening that I got her an Oreck vacuum…and her surprise and delight…and she hugged me in the joy of the moment.
Jonathon told me that, recently, he had been talking with, AntonyF., and Anthony had told him that his laugh reminded him of someone else, me, that laughed that way. I remember what a gentleman that Anthony was and how I enjoyed our conversations.
And, then, there is my old friend, Brad Dillard, who I admire. Brad is a director that cares for his employees and works, tirelessly, to make them all feel an, integral, part of the organization. During Brad’s, short tenure as director, he has inherited significant budgetary challenges and yet he meets them with care and concern and a focus on his staff.
I often, examine, if I understand how much, ancillary, influence that I have on others lives?
How often does a kind word of remembrance or reflection…lift the spirits of another…and we do not, fully, realize the affect that we have on our fellow human family members…as we travel this winding and circuitous road of life?
A Balanced Life
One reality that I have learned, since I turned 60, life goes quickly.
I retired at the conclusion of 2010, nearly eight years ago, and it seems like yesterday.
I was reading my friend, Margo’s, blog and was reminded of the beauty and mystery of London.
During our trip to the United Kingdom, in 2016, we had the opportunity to visit London as well as several cities in the U.K.
In the blog entitled, A Bit About Britain, I was transported to Oxford, England, where we spent a couple of days and where I felt that I had been there before?
The history of Oxford and the spirits of the past…are compelling and it is a location that I could spend a year in…at least.
When I was working at Southern Illinois University at Carbondale, I was so thankful for the opportunities that were afforded me…that I could not spend enough time there. I regularly worked ten and twelve hour days and weekends and holidays…and on many occasions I was there for a full twenty-four hours.
You may take note…even now…many of my writings are about or include SIUC.
But, I longed for a more balanced life.
Simply put, life is much more than working for a living.
Family is the most lovely ingredient in a balanced life. Nothing has ever been more important to me than my wife and my two sons and their happiness and fulfillment and joy.
Faith, has always been an integral part of my life and purpose. Faith is something to be lived…daily…not talked about incessantly.
Travel has been important to me since I was a teenager. Former president Nixon advised parents to take their children on as many travel adventures that they could possibly afford…as there was no better education and enrichment for young people than experiencing new places and people and customs and traditions.
The Arts are vital. Literature and reading and theatre and painting…are the expressions of life!
We are all human and endemic with that reality is the overall health of both our minds and our bodies.
Over my retirement years I have noticed the health issues that I have that are consistent with my obsession for excellence at SIU…and my constant concern as to the university’s welfare.
All of us need and require sleep. If you are not getting enough…you are doing damage to your mental and physical faculties. Adults require eight to ten hours per day in order to function at their maximum potential.
All of us need quiet time…as our kindergarten teacher understood…so many years ago.
All of us need love and appreciation for our efforts…we all want to know that we matter to somebody.
All of us desire to be understood and appreciated for our uniqueness.
All of us want to participate in the betterment of something that is bigger than ourselves.
It pays to step back and contemplate…and consider…from time to time.
We want to be able to have it all and do it all and be the ‘all in all’ that our family and employer and friends and organization and society…tells us that we should be.
Often…to do it all and to be everything to everyone is debilitating and mentally and emotionally exhausting…and is a prescription for disaster.
We can do it all…over the years…but not…all at once.
Warning
‘In mid-September 1930, the reports of Germany’s elections were pouring in, the big news item was the gains made by the Nazi Party. The group that had received so much press recently had acquired 6.4 million German votes. This allowed the Nazis to increase their number of seats in the German Parliament from 12 to 107 leaving them second only to the Socialist, who had 143 seats.’
‘With nearly a 900% increase in parliamentary power, the headlines in Britain were ‘Sweeping Fascist Success.’
‘Early in the next month, Hitler gave an interview with The Times n which he explained that the Nazi Party had made itself, ‘the second strongest party in the Reich.’ Hitler assured the interviewer that, ‘We will conquer political power by strictly legal means.’
‘Churchill was following the news coming from Germany in detail and remained unconvinced. On October 19,1930, he met with Price Bismarck at the German Embassy to discuss current events. When the topic of Hitler and the Nazi Party arose, Churchill acknowledged Hitler’s declarations that he had not intention of waging a war of aggression, however, as the Prince noted, Churchill ‘was convinced that Hitler or his followers would seize the first available opportunity to resort to armed force.’ Historian On The Warpath
Bob Woodward has written a new book about the Trump Whitehouse entitled, ‘Fear’, that is to be released September 11. Mr. Woodward is a highly respected journalist and author and is of world wide fame for he and his colleague, Carl Bernstein, Washington Post articles regarding the Watergate scandal that resulted in the resignation of President Richard Nixon.
Excerpts from the up-coming Woodward book are critical of the President.
‘Mr. Woodward used several defense-related meetings to illustrate the president’s problem grasping his own administrations policy, including a July 2017 gathering at the Pentagon between Mr. Trump, military brass and members of his cabinet.’
‘When are we going to start wining some wars?’ Mr. Trump groused as those around him tried to clarify the purpose of the war in Afghanistan. ‘We’ve got these charts. When are we going to win some wars? Why are you jamming this down my throat?’
‘Mr. Trump attacked the generals and cabinet members in the room, leaving Secretary of State Rex W. Tillerson exasperated. He’s a ‘moron, Mr. Tillerson reportedly said once Mr. Trump had left, using an expletive.’
‘At a January meeting of the National Security Council, Mr. Trump asked why the United States was spending so much on the Korean Peninsula.’
‘Defense Secretary Jim Mattis replied that the administration was trying to prevent World War III. After Mr. Trump left the room, Mr. Woodward wrote, Mr. Mattis told people that Mr. Trump understood the topic like a ‘fifth or sixth grader.’ The New York Times
It goes without saying that the people who are quoted…are Republicans…and they accepted a position in the Trump administration….as a role of service to our nation.
Today a New York Times article entitled, ‘I am Part of the Resistance Inside the Trump Administration’, was written by a high level Trump staffer.
An excerpt from the article says, ‘To be clear, ours is not the popular ‘resistance’ of the left. We want the administration to succeed and think that many of its policies have already made America safer and more prosperous.’
‘But we believe our first duty is to this country, and the president continues to act in a manner that is detrimental to the health of our republic.’
‘That is why Trump appointees have vowed to do what we can to preserve our democratic institutions while thwarting Mr. Trump’s more misguided impulses until he is out of office.’
‘The root of the problem is the president’s amorality. Anyone who works with him knows he is not moored to any discernible first principles that guide his decision making.’
‘Although he was elected as a Republican, the president shows little affinity for ideals long espoused by conservatives: free minds, free markets, free people. At best, he has invoked these ideals in scripted settings. At worst, he has attacked them outright.’
‘In addition to his mass-marketing of the notion that the press is the ‘enemy of the people,’ President Trump’s impulses are generally anti-trade and anti-democratic.’ New York Times
So, we have been warned.
Perhaps…the making fun of and belittling of a disabled person…was not enough?
Perhaps…the, almost 20 accusations of sexual harassment and sexual assault….were not enough?
Perhaps…the recorded assertions of candidate Trump…that due to his being a star he could…sexually assault women….was not enough?
Perhaps…the president’s assertion that there were good neo-nazis, in Charlottesville,…were not enough?
Now we have warnings from both Mr. Woodward’s book, Fear, and, frightening, warnings from a high level…and Republican…staffer of the president.
Do you really accept that everyone that criticizes the current president…is fake news?
Do you accept that when a Republican takes issue with the president…that they are lying and a promulgating of falsehoods and fake news?
Our president asserts that the anonymous author of the New York Times Op Ed piece…is a TRAITOR…according to his tweet.
Do your…really…want to live in a country that to criticize the head of the executive branch of the government…who was elected by the people…is termed a ‘TRAITOR’…by that elected leader who is one of three equal branches of the United States government?
Mentoring
Jonathon told me, today, that he had received an invitation to become a Saluki Mentor.
‘ The Saluki Mentor Network is an online platform designed to connect students with faculty and staff as well as SIU alumni for academic and career mentorship. Powered by Wisr, the Saluki Mentor Network creates opportunities for students to identify a mentor or become a member of a mentor community.’ SIU Career Development Center
‘Why is having a mentor important? A mentor is an experienced and trusted advisor. As students navigate the college experience and begin to think about entering the world of work, they need just that. Research shows that students are much more successful, both during and after college, when they have a mentor.’ SIU Career Development Center
Now is the time to become a mentor and a friend to an SIUC student.
Indeed…our enrollment is down…but it is much better than the original forecast that I read.
The habit of being a casual observer and a quiet fan of Southern Illinois University at Carbondale…has long past.
We must become actively immersed in the paramount project of our lives and the success of our region…the academic success and the social success and the overall wellbeing of our most valuable citizens…our students!
There is no endeavor that is more vital than for each member of the SIUC community…and each member of the Carbondale community…and for each member of the Southern Illinois community…to make it their mission and to adopt a student and cause them to feel appreciated and welcome and an integral member of a vibrant and exciting community of scholars and friends.
A fulfilling manner of life at Southern is to, ‘Work like you don’t need the money, love like you’ve never been hurt and dance like no one is watching.’ Teach Me Life
So many times, when I felt compelled to advocate for those who had no voice, I ‘spoke truth to power’ and I was desperately afraid and I lost sleep and I was certain that I would never reach retirement.
But I spoke.
And, never for myself.
I wanted our university to succeed.
We are on the right track…we are not going to succumb to the our own negative feelings and the broken dreams of others.
We are going to break out of our comfortable shell…and reach out to others…and finally decide that our university is not about us individually…but our community!
Waiting
Do you enjoy waiting?
Southern Illinois University will announce its fall semester enrollment numbers, Tuesday.
At the height of enrollment glory…SIU had almost 25,000 students enrolled on the Carbondale campus.
I believe that last year there was under 16,000…and there is a forecast for another reduction.
The picture, on the ground, is that we have an innovative chancellor who has worked to turn the mighty ship of SIUC…around.
So, indeed, we should not loose heart…but we have to increase our enrollment numbers.
Much of the failure to increase our university’s numbers is due to several occurrences which include, no state budget for nearly two years and a lack of focus by university leadership and a repeated changing of the chancellor…when things did not go as expected.
I spoke with my friend, Julie, who told me that she had worked for eleven chancellors.
Chancellor Montemagno deserves our support and our full immersion in the vital project of recruiting and retaining our most precious university community citizens…our students.
President Trump is waiting for the Muller report to conclude and to read the findings of the almost two year endeavor.
Those who believe that wrong doing will be revealed and are offended and frightened by our president’s rhetoric and his policies…are waiting for the mid-term election in November and the release of the Muller report.
We wait for our children to grow up…and it happens in the blink of an eye.
We wait to retire…and we are shocked how quickly…that hoped for day…arrives.
Jews and Christians…alike…await the return of the Messiah. But, will his rule and his law and his outlook on humanity…be what they expected?
When we are children…we look forward to being adults.
When we are adults…we look forward to being of value to our employer and to making a difference.
Our children grow-up….and we struggle to discover how we are still relevant to their lives and to our society.
We retire…and we say…what now?
Retirement is the time to fulfill the quote, ‘ I Am Who I Am Your Approval Isn’t Needed.’
Lunch With Friends
I enjoyed lunch yesterday with my, very, good friends, Ryan and Elizabeth, and I wondered why I had waited..so long to enjoy their company.
I had the pleasure of working alongside both of my friends, prior to my retirement.
What lovely and hard working people they are!
I had the opportunity to meet their three sons, and I am not referring to the ‘oldies’ television show that I watched in its first run when I was a boy, but three of the most polite and well mannered young men that it has been my privilege to meet…in many years.
Have you ever known people that were simply the salt of the earth and backbone of any organization? You have if you have met, Ryan and Elizabeth.
When I retired, almost eight years ago, and I was certain that I did not want a retirement reception…but rather to exit as I had entered…with no one aware of me or who I was. My Director, Phil, told me that Elizabeth would not hear of me not having a reception and that she would be extremely disappointed if I did not submit!
I submitted.
As the years go by…I am glad that I did submit, as I walk through the Student Center several times per week and look at the Old Main Lounge, where my reception was held, and I always smile and reflect on the gracious people that took time out of the busy day…to bid me farewell.
Every-time that I speak with Ryan, I am struck with how considerate and thoughtful and wise that he is. He is a quiet and unassuming person that thinks about what he says and, when you listen, every word is true.
As we reflected on the, now long past, of when I worked with them, I thought what an honor it is to have these two wonderful people…desire to have lunch with me…and I was humbled.
As we spoke I reflected on the past and my management style, of which I received my share of criticism, was to put people first…and excellent work will follow, I believed that if my wonderful staff felt that I cared about them that they would feel comfortable in producing an innovative and exciting and pristine work product that would resound to the entire university’s benefit.
I used to examine my management style and priorities…at least on an annual basis. I would disclose to my wife some of the criticisms that I was receiving…and she told me that your management philosophy has worked for you for many years and do not change it now.
I never believed that the strong manager was the manager that blustered and criticized their staff for show and drama and to enhance their own image.
A great manager is behind the scenes and quick to give others the credit and a leader who no one knows, but the person that is being counseled, that constructive criticism was affected in order to enhance the professionalism and career of a vital colleague.
Many, when they knew of my retirement, told me that they were certain that the university would be seeking my opinion and my consulate, when I knew the truth…that they did not realize…and that was that the Building Services staff were my primary priority for over 32 years…and they are who I think about up unto and including this minute.
Priorities
Through out our lives and in all endeavors…we have to prioritize our focus.
When I became a married man I knew from the moment that Mary Jane placed her little hand in mine and we turned around to face the attendees at our wedding…that I was going to have to begin…immediately…thinking about my wife’s needs and wants and dreams and our collaboration together.
When Aaron was born and I carried him into our little four room house in Elkville, Illinois…I knew that, now, my level of responsibility and love and concern and vision for the future…had increased by one.
When Jonathon was born and soon ran through the house and put Aaron’s toy truck in the toilet and flushed and then announced, joyfully, what he had done…I realized that my family of four and their individual needs and concerns were to be my concerns and my vision for our future.
When I began working at SIUC I, rapidly, understood how important the Building Services department was to the, global, betterment of the campus and the vital and integral needs of the recruitment and retention of our students.
I soon realized that there were many, essential, functions that our professional housekeeping team provided…that if we did not…not only would health and welfare suffer, but students and their parents would not choose SIUC and if they did…they would not stay.
I pointed out to chancellors and presidents, alike, that the reduction of our staff would cause rest rooms to be unsanitary and with no paper goods.
Classrooms would have Daily Egyptians and hamburger wrappers and used coffee cups…that would have to be kicked out of the doorways and dirty chalk boards with no chalk to write with.
Many of the tile floors at SIU are old tile made of asbestos. If these tile floors are not maintained properly and our not coated with wax on a regular basis…the asbestos will become friable and a present health danger to the university community.
Many of the student workers that work in Building Services, are living so close to the margins, that to loose their job is to loose their ability to attend SIUC.
I am pleased to see such good leadership of PSO…now…because I have lived through long periods of time where custodial staff were told that they were non-essential.
I would liken this to the man who painted his living room…while his kitchen…was on fire.
Now, keep in mind…the issues that I am referring to…were many years ago….I have been retired for nearly 8 years.
But, one thing that was extremely evident to me was that the precious staff of Building Services is some of the most dedicated people that the university has…and their ideas and their thoughts and their solutions to problems…is critical to the success of this crucial and indispensable service for our beloved alma mater.
The Happy Traveler 